My nanny job

After daughter number two left the house for college, I picked up some replacement kids, a girl, and a boy. The kids, my friend's children, have had a challenging year dealing with the splitting of their parents and the accompanying readjustment period. I've become Nanny Cara and have helped with the overhaul of their mother's house and life and have assisted them with schoolwork. They do the requisite moving back and forth between parents, but both ride the bus home to their mother's house, where I crack the whip to begin their nightly homework/studying time.

In my opinion, my job as a SAHM has qualified me to attempt nannying someone else's children with the aid and blessing of their mother. The fact that I'm not their mother makes things difficult for both sides, but we've slogged along with good days and bad days.

Their life is vastly different from that of my own children. Their parents work with their mother on a night shift at the hospital on an interval schedule. They bounce from one house to the other with one parent running the show in each house, and as one can expect, with very different parenting mentalities. It makes me appreciate more of my childhood.

Recently, while their dad was out of town and their mom was working, I moved in for two nights. I did all of the things I did for my own children-- reminding them of nightly obligations like showering and brushing their teeth, feeding them dinner, waking them in the morning, and seeing they were off to school on time. All ingrained in me, albeit a tad rusty, it was like riding a bike, although I had forgotten the horrific 5:30 a.m. high school wake up time.

There is nothing like knowing people more so than living with them. While I've known these two since they were two and five years old and have worked with the girl for three years as a tutor, spending two nights with them gave me a different perspective, and reinforced my belief that kids can and will step up to the plate when needed. The high schooler locked up and set the house alarm as the man of the house. The first night he refused to go to sleep until I was tucked into bed because he wanted to make sure I'd turned off and set on the right lights. They both hopped out of bed in the morning and got themselves ready for school. It was a pleasant nannying experience.

Tutoring is a whole different ball of wax. Navigating disinterested children through two various programs at two different schools hasn't been a walk in the park.

First, there is Florida's public school education--overworked and underpaid teachers working different programs with different students, overcrowded classrooms, counselors who spend more time as test managers than overseeing students' needs, and no one holding anyone accountable.

Secondly, are the two students who, having been left alone in their educational pursuit far too many years, don't care one way or the other about grades. I've never had that. I came from a home where education was stressed from birth. I knew the moment I entered Kindergarten, this was my job for the next seventeen years, and my two bosses were dead serious about that. My girls had the same thing via the do what you're taught method carried from generation to generation.

These kids' parents had a different experience from mine. Both had working parents with one who had zero parental guidance, and the other with minimal supervision after a certain age. These two worked hard individually to get degrees and certifications that put them where they are today. No one stood over them, and they didn't do the same for their children. I've had to balance between what I know and believe with how their parents do things, and it hasn't been easy.

Some days are excellent, and others leave me drained and near tears when I return home to the silence that is now my home.

My girls are involved. When they are home, they take the kids out for fun, whether its laser tag or the movies. Madison tutored via Facetime in Chemistry when I was desperate. They've both assisted in Algebra with us sending pictures via texts of the problems. After all, the kids' mother taught both of mine how to drive. Only fair to return the favor. We've made it a family affair.

My husband has been a participant in this new job of mine too. He's taken a fatherly interest in both kids and tutors when I need assistance. He handles math, some science, and music. Both kids play an instrument, and our home has them, so the kids can practice at my house like they do at home. We offer what we can, and hand them over to their parents, but not having the entire responsibility is at times challenging and others satisfying. I wonder, is this like grandparenting? Fostering?

All of this is to say working parents are superheroes. While I understand this is one family and one experience, I still can't figure out how working parents navigate and manage it all.

I've had the one job, raising my kids, and I can't even fathom adding a full-time job on top. Yikes. Kudos to all you working parents! That is some serious hard shit you're going through--like my life times two with double the stress.

And the children of working parents? They are just as awesome because they have a responsibility, unlike what my own girls experienced. These kids have no choice but to step up to the plate. I bow to both.

Oh, and I'm available if anyone needs a Nanny.