Steve Austin has nothing on me....

Surgery #1, Right eye
Things I worried that could go wrong and / what really transpired:

• Blindness - This was something on the paper that I had to sign saying I understood this was a possibility. / Not only am I not blind, but I can see distance without any aid. At today's follow-up, my vision was 20/10. My hot surgeon said, "Damn, I'm good."

• The juice they planned on giving me would not relax me. / It started out with the nurse having trouble finding the vein in my hand. It ended with her blowing said vein. Lucky for me (and her)I was tied down to the bed with my eyes closed. The juice might have put me to sleep, but they all kept talking to me.

• The numbing stuff wouldn't work and I would feel the slicing and dicing. / My eye was numb, but I did feel the astigmatism flattening. A tad painful, but I'm a Mason warrior.

• They would work on the wrong eye / Not happening because they put a piece of white tape over my right eye, tucked my hair up into a shower cap, doused my right eye with horrible colored dye drops and made me sit in the full waiting room with my left eye opened.

• It would take longer than the 6-7 minutes I was promised. / Haven't a clue how long it took. I was there a total of 3 hours. I was only supposed to be there for 2 hours, but a 92-year-old patient got ahead of me when his family member caused a scene in the waiting room.

• My blood pressure would be sky high and they wouldn't be able to operate / My bp was 109/78 with a 53 pulse rate. I was worried I wasn't alive.

• I would want to close my eye when I saw an instrument coming close / Again...not happening. They throw you off balance by pouring more drops into your eye and while that is happening and your eye is wide open someone else covers your upper face with a clear piece of sticky plastic. Then they cut it open right over your eye. I'm sure my bp shot up a tad at that one.

All in all, I survived. Worst thing is having to do it all over again next week on the other eye. After today's follow-up appointment I made the mistake of staying and watching a live cataract surgery being performed. You wouldn't even believe all the new worries I have now.....