It all comes back to you....as my mother always said

In my younger days, I was, according to my brother, a prude. This is because I caught him in a compromising position with a girl in his bedroom while my parents were out of town. I then proceeded to tell my parents when they returned because we had rules.... one of which was no one in the house when my parents were not there unless they knew about it beforehand.

 And I might have wanted some payback for all the crappy times he turned me in for minor discretions.

Years later, my brother married that same girl. Now, he still likes to mention what a prude I was back in the day making fun of me for telling our parents. Personally, I think he still holds a grudge. I mean, by now he should be fuzzy on the details, wouldn't you think?

He and his wife are now dealing with their sixteen-year-old son who is in love. What with the Internet and texting it is easier for parents to keep abreast of these types of carrying-on, but they can't watch their kid all of the time. And fortunately for my nephew, his closest sibling is six years younger. Because he treats her with respect most of her life, revenge isn't high on her list.

Today I got the first story of my nephew going outside the boundaries. Said nephew went home with his crush between school and play practice to engage in video games in her basement.

While there was an adult present, as well as two other kids, my SIL was not only horrified but angry..
Susan: "I reacted as if he had just told me he smoked pot."

She was upset that he hadn't texted her he was going to do this.

SIL: "I mean, what would have happened if his father had been in an accident and I would've come to school to pick up my son only to find him gone?"

I've got to tell you that I laughed my ass off.

I laughed at all the other things she said to my nephew as well.

SIL: "What if she had offered you a beer? Would you have drunk that? Because this girl can obviously make you do things you don't normally do."

SIL: "Her parents weren't even there! I don't care that her grandmother was there! I don't even know where she lives!"

My mother always use to say that "it all comes back to you."

It's a cycle. A rite of passage.

We once were that kid who tested the waters. What could go wrong? Absolutely, nothing! Then we became the parent. The one who doesn't want to let go, or to see his child hurt. We know things can go wrong. Because WE LEARNED IT AS A KID!

The truth is, I didn't tell my parents about my brother and his now-wife to get some kind of revenge. I told them because I was worried. Because while my mother obviously didn't put the fear of pregnancy into her son's head, she sure put it into mine. Warned me not to get pregnant. Warned me of the consequences. Warning, warning, warning.

And then, I heard my brother in a fictional conversation where the girlfriend ended up pregnant and my parents went beserk.

Brother: "Well, Cara knew I was messing around."

So, while I can laugh at my brother and his SIL's comeuppance and roll my eyes at the story of my revenge, I cringe for both sides and worry for myself in the parenting of two daughters. Yikes!