Pee, pee, and more pee

So let's talk about peeing some more here in blog post #2 of articles sent to me via text and facebook. As I previously noted peeing in the pool was something I use to do, but do no more. Because finally my own mother's wrath and disgust, along with my children's horror at the thought of it, made me think maybe peeing in the pool wasn't the best thing to do.

Over the years in my life and career as a swimmer/coach/lifeguard/instructor/pool director I have had to deal with the pool being used as a bathroom more times than I can count. My most distinct memory is swimming with goggles and a net in the city pool with my co-worker, Mike Jordan (he was a swimmer, not a bball player) picking up turds that someone had let loose from his (I swore no girl would do such a thing) bathing suit. The swim team was practicing at the time and this was in the days before all the shutting-down-the-pool-when-feces-has-been-spotted-while-we-shock-the-crap-out-of-the-pool days. We were quietly swimming underwater gathering up the offended brown dots with our nets and trying to stay under the radar so that the swimmers wouldn't panic and jump out of the water. We really didn't want to hear the coach's irritation at his practice being interrupted and so we causally swam around collecting poop. Looking back on that now, I am truly horrified, not at the act itself, but the nonchalant way I remember feeling about poop in the pool. Pfft. Just a day in the life of a pool worker. Today that kind of situation would require men in hazmat suits and a community pool shut down for the day. I do have to say that poop in the pool is NOT something I would do or recommend. And honestly, back in my day, it wasn't really all that common.

The other incident that stands out in my life of pool toilets was as an instructor working out of private homes. I was teaching a child, a school mate of Darcy's at the time, I think he was about 5 or 6 in his pool. We had to get out because of lightning and we stood under an awning on the pool deck where his mother joined us. She and I were talking while the lightning struck and the thunder rumbled and suddenly the child just peed right there on the pool deck. He just couldn't hold it any longer. I, of course, was not horrified, still being in that frame of mind regarding pee and swimming. His mother, however, was. Her mouth fell open in horror, her eyes got wider and wider, and she shouted at him, "What are you doing? How many times have I told you NOT to pee on the pool deck? What do I tell you? What. do. I. tell. you? You pee IN the pool, NOT on the deck!" What? That was a first for me. So I started laughing and she gave me a lesson on urine. I've never forgotten that.

While I am retired from my pool career and from my pool peeing I do still use the ocean as my toilet. It is easier for me to walk into the ocean or the gulf, which it is in my neck of the woods, then it is to hike across the sand and into the bathroom. That is only used when I absolutely must be in a bathroom. I will enter the gulf in the winter of Florida when the water is a chilly 62 degrees just to pee. And I'm not one of those people who do it where it is noticeable. I go all the way in up to my shoulders as if I'm enjoying the water on a hot day, but I'm really numb from the neck down and peeing. My beach friend, SueG, has all these bathroom rules already and so she acts horrified that I'm doing such a thing, and perhaps that is why she stays far from me when we enter the water, but I have to say that I've never known her to go into the public restrooms at the beach. Just saying.

My favorite peeing in the gulf story was when the girls and I were at the beach with all of my sisters-in-law on my husband's side. The cousins (they were probably all under 8 years old) were playing and we weren't near a bathroom. Of course, a kid needed to pee. My nephew, I won't mention his name here, TEDDY, came over and announced he needed to pee. My SIL sat there in silence, her brain running through the various options, and so I piped up and told him he had the entire gulf at his disposal. Relieved, my SIL sent him into the gulf to do his business and she continued on with the story she had been telling us before the interruption. But then we heard laughing and we looked up to see that TEDDY had gone down to the water's edge, dropped his drawers, and was doing exactly what we had told him to do. His bare backside was exposed to those behind him and his front side was exposed to everyone in the water. And everyone was laughing. It is a story that we will tell for years, especially at his wedding.

A couple of weeks ago SueG and I took her two children to the beach, a last hoorah before school started. Her kids like when I come because I go into the water. Once I'm hot, or once I have to pee, I'm in the water. So her daughter, Sydney, kept begging me to go in with her and she and I swam quite a bit and talked while we floated. When I would feel the urge I would start moving away from Sydney so that I wasn't near her when I peed, but each time I would move she would move with me. I thought it was funny and so I told her what I was up to. She thought that funny and we worked it out that I announce my purpose and she would tread water in one place while I moved farther away to handle my business. All very simple. Except that she couldn't stop talking about what I was doing. "Miss Cara pees in the ocean!"

This week her mother sent me an online article titled, "Why it's OK to pee beside the seaside: Urinating in the ocean is harmless and is actually GOOD for marine life, say scientists" It was based on a video put out by the American Chemical Society (who knew about that organization?) and I loved it and thought I should hit the high points.

1. Urine, at 95% water and containing sodium and chloride ions and potassium, will not alter the ocean because it too is 96.5% water and containing the same ions and potassium. 
2. Urea, the leftover compound that rids our bodies of excess nitrogen, is a small amount in urine when compared to the entire ocean.
3. Urea also contains nitrogen and that combines with water to produce ammonium, which in turns feeds ocean plant life and is actually quite helpful.
4. Guess what? Animals pee too, and since they don't have toilets installed under the ocean, they too pee in there. A whale pees 970 litres a day in the ocean.

At the end it does mention another video about NOT peeing in pools, and after watching that one too, I heard my mother saying, "I TOLD YOU". But I stopped that long ago, and now I've been vindicated about my ocean/gulf peeing. Now I'm just going to get up and announce that I'm heading out to feed the ocean plant life.