Now it is my turn

Several summers ago I visited a friend whose daughter was leaving for college in the coming weeks. One whole section of their house was literally filled from the floor to the ceiling with stuff. Stuff  that she need for college. According to who? I asked this with a shocked face, open mouth as I stood looking at all of this stuff that we had to learn to navigate around when we walked from one side of the house to the other. I thought they were crazy.

I also listened to my friend bemoan the fact that she was losing her daughter and I listened to the daughter bemoan the fact that her mother didn't want her to get out in life and enjoy it. I could relate somewhat to both of them, but not really. I, as usual, offered up my sage advice which I knew to be right and which I had no business giving. I had no idea what she was going through. I mean I thought I did, sort of, but yeah, I had no idea.

Two years later I lived through the process again with my SIL. We were in Indiana a few weeks before he left for college and his new purchases were stacked in a row in the dining room. His pile wasn't as large as my friend's daughter's pile and I was certainly better prepared for the items needed, but I still was overwhelmed by all the stuff. (picture credit to Susan)

I listened to my SIL bemoan the fact that she was losing her son, but this time I paid attention. I probably took it to heart too much because then I started wandering around my own house whining about losing my daughters until they finally said, "Mom! Stop! We have to get through high school first." I'm sure I offered up some more sage advice to my SIL, but she is good about telling me to zip it when she knows I can't possibly relate. 

Well, now it is my turn. Last week my daughter, the high school senior, after a quick overnight visit to North Carolina, committed to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She will be packing up her belongings and heading out the door. Both my friend and my SIL feel for me, but while I know they understand somewhat they don't really understand. Because both of their children stayed in the same state they were in! My daughter is going to live MILLIONS OF MILES FROM ME! 

It has been a rough few months. Madison has stressed about decisions and the final year of high school. Her last day of school is tomorrow, but then she has three weeks of the IB boards that she must take to earn her International Baccalaureate diploma. While she should have been studying for those tests she was rolling around on her bed with her fingers in her ears telling us to stop reminding her that she needs to choice a college. Eventually she narrowed it down to two choices, and while we were visiting the preview at one choice school (in state!), she got the acceptance into UNC.  Both my husband and I liked Florida State just fine. She, however, wasn't thrilled. She didn't have that "ah ha" moment everyone kept telling her would happen. So my husband sent the Madison and me to North Carolina to their preview. Both of us had the moment.

It is a beautiful campus and visiting in the spring it is in all of its blooming glory. The buildings are architecturally built, and they are very old, and very stunning, and sitting in the middle of a campus that was popping with color and shaded by ancient trees. Who wouldn't love that part of this school? I did keep reminding her that this state actually had winter weather and it wouldn't always be like this, but she loves changing weather and coldness. 

The day was busy and went by fast, but every student, teacher, and administrator kept saying the same thing: "This college and the people in it are a family." Everywhere we went that came up; in the parent/student question session, in the campus tour, during our visit with the honors department. They also talked about academics and how smart UNC students were and never once did they talk about going on to grad school. Instead they focused on what would be my daughter's next four years. I could see Madison here. Apparently she could see herself too.

As soon as we got home she took a day to make her final decision. From the moment she committed everyone in our house just felt relief. We walked around for another two days just feel giddy and stress free. And then my husband started talking about registering for this and signing up for that and we started another round of nagging to get things done. But this time Madison was all over it. She filled out a housing questionnaire, accepted her place in the honors program and in the research program, joined a facebook group and within two days she had her roommate lined up. Another girl in the honors program read Maddy's profile and sent Maddy her profile and soon they were chatting on the phone for hours and signing up to room together. That's when it really hit me.

I'm losing my little girl!