In the doghouse

Last weekend while Darcy was home, she witnessed the wrath of her father who had survived a category 2 hurricane boarded up in a house with two women and after suffering from a muscle strain in his back. He came from work, and instead of embracing his daughter he made comments regarding the work she had not done. Work, that mind you he didn't mention that he wanted done which Darcy pointed out to him. So, he moved on to me.

Tom: "What did you do today?"

I hate that statement. My SIL and I discuss this daily. We have debated that statement in my husband's presence via Facetime, and still he and my brother ask us this Every. Day. When I said I had been at work he went into his normal grumbling of how my job is a "volunteer" job and not work.

Tom: "Work is when you get paid for doing said work."

Of course, I came back with how I hadn't gotten paid for the "work" I did in the hurricane recovery, and instead of knowing when to quit, his frustration just kept his mouth moving. He told me my payment was the house I was living in. It went downhill from there until Darcy and I ran him out of the kitchen.

I held a grudge against him for two days, but the problem with an empty nest is that I don't have anyone but him and the dog to talk to, and frankly, the dog hears me all day long. I eventually had to give up my irritation stand against him, but rest assured he knew I wasn't too happy about his statement.

Tom: "Who's baby shower are you going to?"
Me: "My "volunteer" boss' shower."

Tom: "If you could run that check over to the pavement guys, that would be great."
Me: "Sure, I can stop my "volunteer" writing time to "volunteer" to do that."

I may be in my fifties, but I'm still a child sometimes. Whatever. His attitude pissed me off, and because he is not a chatty communicator I have to be subtle. Ha!

Today my "volunteer" boss texted me to tell me she had been listening to the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack ever since I had talked about seeing the show. She told me to thank Darcy because she was "legit crying in my office listening to Ben Platt's sad voice." So I copied the message and sent it to Darcy, telling her it was a text from my boss at "volunteering". We discussed the text and she then asked me other questions and then an hour or so later she sent me a link to THIS.

"But sometimes the weight of the things I keep pulls me down below the surface until I am kicking and struggling to break the surface and gasp for breath. Because all these things I keep are invisible, intangible. They go unnoticed and unacknowledged until they are missed. They are not graded or peer reviewed or ruled on by a court. And sometimes they are taken for granted. My husband and my boys are kind and generous and they love me hard. And this is by far the greatest job I have ever had. But sometimes being the Keeper is exhausting. Because you feel like you're doing it alone.

So to all of you who are keepers, I see you. I know the weight of the things you keep. I know the invisible work you do, which doesn't come with a pay check or sick leave, is what makes the world go round. I see you." - Cameron

And the fact that my daughter sent this to me to tell me she sees ME. Well, people, the tears flowed. And flowed. And flowed.

So stuff it husband! Because the WORK I did for twenty years (without a paycheck, sick pay, vacation time, etc.) is appreciated by the ones who really matter to me.