Tuesday, December 03, 2019

Yes, I have a waterbed

When I sit down to blog, sometimes I want to refer to an old blog post. To find the said blog post, I have a search engine that allows me to type in some keywords to bring up the post. Lately, that has not worked, although the random posts it does bring forth has me wasting tons of time going back over them. Although, doing so helps me with my resolutions for the year, so there is that.

Entering the keyword waterbed brought forth one hundred and eleven blog posts. Now, seriously? When would anyone, besides a waterbed salesman, post that many entries concerning waterbeds? Hell, I had to peruse through them to see if the word was really in them.

The answer is no.

I have a waterbed. Just saying those words aloud sends people spinning.

People: "A WATERBED? You have a waterbed? Do they even make those things anymore?"

The answer is yes, and yes. We have a waterbed. We have had one since we got married. We have had to replace the bladder inside our bed due to leaks. This is usually where I would link to those posts because I've written about our leaks. After all, the stories are hilarious. The first leak coincided with the last trimester of my first pregnancy, and I thought my water had broken. See? Funny. Unfortunately, I spent way too much time trying to find those entries without any luck.

This last leak was discovered during the changing of my sheets--on the corner (and yes, the leaks are always on my side of the bed). It was sopping wet. Because we have a soft-side waterbed we have a mattress that unzips. Inside the mattress is a foam that encircles the entire bed and the bladders full of water.

I unzipped the top of the mattress and pulled back my bladder. Water was beneath it but with no visible hole. I left it for the husband despite the fact it falls under my inside the house rule--the one that states, Cara is responsible for the inside, and Tom is responsible for the outside of the house. There is an asterisk that reads, "husband sometimes is responsible for helping wife with issues inside the house".

This was one of them. Mainly because I'm not allowed to lift anything over ten pounds. Also, because Tom is the waterbed expert.

He came home and did exactly what I had done. He also discovered water under his bladder. He nicely suggested it could be on his side, but neither one of us believed that. As usual, and this is where those other entries would've been helpful, my husband shrugged and said nothing could be done tonight and so we made the bed.

In my other entries, the same thing happened. Because it didn't affect my husband. The leak wasn't on his side of the bed, and he was tired, and so he went to bed. I gingerly got into bed this time and immediately felt wetness. It was all in my head, but I kept jumping up and running my hands over the bed, seeking my truth. Eventually, I gave up and went to sleep.

We left for Indiana two days later. The corner of the bed was still wet, but he put in a trash bag and pulled back the sheets for them to dry. I told Madison to check the room periodically in case the whole thing leaked all over our floor. She rolled her eyes but assured me she would follow my instructions.

In Indiana, I was informed that my husband bought a new bed. He told this to my SIL, who relayed it to me. Happy Birthday! Apparently, due to the rips and tears and old foam inside the mattress, my husband purchased an entirely new waterbed. Complete with new everything. New box springs, new mattress, new bladder.

People: "There are still waterbed stores in business?"


It arrived before Thanksgiving. In four large boxes. On a flat. Tom didn't put it together until the day after when he had the help of Darcy's babe, Oleg.

Oleg: "What's a waterbed?"

He learned. The two of them emptied the old bed. They tore down the old mattress, the foam, the plastic sheathing, etc. They opened the boxes and set up the new bed. They filled the bladders with water. The new top is quilted and very plush. The bed is an inch higher than the old one. I like it. The water part is still an adjustment. I could probably use a bit more in my bladder, but it isn't causing me due stress or pain, so I'm hoping my body will adjust to it.

The dog, however, can not jump on it very well now that it is higher, and he really loves sitting on the bed and looking out the window. Especially when we aren't home. He can get his front part up, but his butt dangles, and he can't get a good grip.

Hmm...makes me wonder if he isn't the reason for the leak in the first place...

Tom ordered him some stairs. That makes me laugh. I bet the dog will ignore those and continue to master his jumping skills. On our waterbed. How hilarious is all of that?

People: "You have a waterbed? That your dog sleeps on? I didn't know they still made waterbeds. Why do you have a waterbed? And it's so high Elliot can't jump on it? So, you got him stairs? To climb on to the waterbed? Do they still make waterbeds?"

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