Cheetos, carrots, and packages

After spending a day running around town shopping, wrapping gifts, car pooling children, and creating holiday creations, I sat down on the couch to read my new Jack Reacher that I ordered from the library.  But when I read I need to have something in my mouth whether it be food, gum, or my fingernails, and I remembered that we had bought Cheetos the other day at the grocery.

Darcy:  "Cheetos!  BOGO!  I'll get them."
Me:  "That isn't on the list."
Darcy:  "I know, but I LOVE them and I haven't had them is SO long and please, please, please.  They are buy one, get one."
Me:  "No.  I'll just eat them.  I love Cheetos.  I can't be eating those things right now.  Look at this gut on me.  That is a heart attack gut and Cheetos will add to it."
Darcy:  "You won't eat them.  I won't let you.  Thanks Mom."

I got up off the couch and discovered the bag of crunchy Cheetos had been devoured.  I took the bag of puff Cheetos to the couch instead and settled in with my book.  I ate one and then another and then twenty more.  These are like carrots, I thought to myself.  You should be eating carrots instead.  Then suddenly the mail man appeared at my door delivering another Christmas package.  He peered in at me as he set down the package, and I lifted the Cheetos bag out of the way and waved with my free hand, the one covered in orange dust.  He waved back, but I knew he was disgusted by my gorging.  He left.  I ate another Cheetos.  And then another and another and then twenty more.  You should be eating carrots.  I should be eating carrots! 

I closed the Cheetos bag, got up, and substituted that bag with a bag of baby carrots and leftover greek tzatziki sauce.  Back to my spot on the couch, I went.  I dipped and crunched and felt much healthier.  Carrots are really much better.  Why did I waste those calories on the other orange stuff?  Then suddenly the Fed Ex man appeared at my door delivering another Christmas package.  He peered in at me and signaled that he needed a signature.  I sighed and lifted my bag of carrots and dip, got up off the couch, set the items down by the front door, and opened the door to greet him.

Him:  "I know, I know.  Put down those Cheetos and come and sign for this."
Me:  "Cheetos!  Those are carrots!"  I was quite indignant.  "I'm eating carrots."
Him:  "Oh."  Shamefaced laughter.  "Sorry.  I was kidding anyway."
Me:  "Cheetos.  Pfft.  I'm much healthier then that."
Him:  "Of course you are.  Have a great holiday."

I retrieved my bag of carrots, waved them at him as he headed back to the truck, and I walked back into the kitchen to put my snacks away.  It wasn't until I opened the refrigerator that the humor of the situation caught up with me. 

Me:  "I sure hope he doesn't meet up with mailman tonight for a drink!"