Healthy we are not

Recently we had a Whole Foods open up in our area adjacent to our Sears mall store. Construction had been ongoing for what felt like years, and I was under the impression that Sears was just remodeling. It wasn't until I read an article in our paper that I knew it was Whole Foods. Which meant nothing to me. I pictured another grocery store, and since the area where it is located is thirty minutes from me I didn't figure it would be on my shopping list unless I was visiting the mall.

My friend and I happened to have some errands in that area last week and we decided after breakfast that we should stop in at the Whole Foods and check it out. I have been inside the Fresh Market, which happens to be down the street from this food establishment, and I thought it mimicked that store in several ways. We started at one side of the store and worked our way around the entire place before going back to things we wanted to purchase.

The store is organic. I don't think there is one thing in there that didn't come from a polished farm out in the country with fields that were sprayed with dewy fairy dust. The items were all strange brands with strange titles and the ingredients were things I had never heard of for the most part. One of the items I found in the dairy section was something I had seen in a recipe that week that I had no idea what it was let alone where to purchase it. I've written about that before, and suddenly I realized: I can buy it at Whole Foods!

I spent considerable time at the fresh food line where you could take home soups, salads, and international foods. It was buffet style with take home containers, organic not Styrofoam, and I made myself a delicious salad with vegetables and a dollop of rice salad and chicken salad. I also purchased some ginger tea and candy for my SIL, and then while standing in line to check-out I saw these juices that were BOGO.

I told my friend I was buying this for us to drink on the way home. She picked out the Chunmee Tropical and I took the Honeybush Peach. They were $3.99 a piece, but I was feeling so healthy with my salad and they were buy one, get one and I was embracing the whole organic thing and so I left the store with them in my bag.

When we got into the car I took them out and opened mine. I was parched and so I took a huge gulp to refresh my body, and then tried very hard not to spit it out all over her dashboard. It tasted like watered down apricot baby food with no seasoning. It was awful. She looked at me and asked me how it was. I told her delicious. She called me a liar and proceeded to taste hers. Immediately, she opened the door and spit it out.

Her: "Oh, my God, what the *^%$ is that crap? That is the worst thing I have ever put into my mouth."

Me: "I know, right. It is terrible. How can honey and peaches taste so nasty?"

We looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Her: "We are so not ever going to be healthy."

Me: "Not if we have to drink this stuff."

Her: "Let's go get a McDonald's iced coffee."

Silly man

Tom: "Did you read this article about the stolen electronics?"

Me: "I did. Silly woman. She obviously does not know Apple. If you are going to steal something, don't you think you should know about the product? Hello? Find my Iphone, etc."

Tom: "Yes, but did you read how she did it?"

Me: "No, I forgot that story when I turned to the inside."

Tom: "She stole them by wearing scrubs and dressing up as a nurse. Ahem."

Me:  "If that is directed at me, I'll have you know that I wear doctor scrubs, thank you very much."

Monday morning NFL recap - week 6

Steelers: At least I still have the Broncos.

Red zone - We can't seem to get past the red and into the end zone. I understand the run game. I get it. But the game has changed and the Steelers need to change with it and throw the darn ball, especially in the red zone.

Ben Roethlisberger - Not his day. That happens. He overthrew and under threw and missed cues. Unfortunately our next three games are the Texans, Colts and Ravens and those are three teams that are way better than the Steelers.

Troy Polamalu - Something is very off with Troy, and I wish he would straighten it out. If he is unhappy with something on the team whether it be the coach or players, he needs to address it so he can get back to work. He is healthy and we are not seeing healthy Troy play. I'm not a proponent of the "he is old" thing. Something else is going on.

Receivers - I questioned our decisions in the off season to not try and keep certain players, mainly receivers Jericho Cotchery and Emmanuel Sanders. And sure enough we are hurting there. Antonio Brown is our only guy that can hold on to a ball, leap to make a catch, and who comes out each week to do his job. What? No one thought that other teams wouldn't pick up on that and cover him?

Browns - Kudos to them. They have energy. They have enthusiasm. They don't give up. All the things that we haven't had in years.

Other:

Hype - It is interesting to me how excited sports analysts get when a team pulls out a winner, or wins again, or loses big. No matter which one it is the analysts go nuts. Now the Cowboys are suddenly THE team since they pulled off an upset over the Seahawks. It was a good win. I'm not arguing that, but do I think this is the team that will take it all the way? Uh, no. Not yet. I picked Philadelphia back in week one and so far they haven't done anything to change my mind.

Tampa Bay - I didn't watch the game because I was busy watching my own game online, but I followed it through updates. Five touchdowns scored in the first fifteen minutes by the Ravens. That is on the Bucs defense period. Do I think this beating was on par with the one they took two weeks ago with Atlanta? No. This game this week was against the Ravens, a contender team for sure. The Falcons? They couldn't beat Chicago.

Joe Flacco and Aaron Rogers - I hate to give kudos to any Raven, but Flacco played so well yesterday I have to suck it up and hand it out to him. As for Rogers, if I had to pick a quarterback to stage a comeback he would be in line behind Peyton Manning. Plus, he earned points with me by showing some emotion and humor in his post conference regarding his fake spike.

Sacks - Last week was penalty week and this week it was quarterback sacks. Giants quarterback Eli Manning went down six times, five of those occurring in the first half, and Jacksonville's Blake Bortles joined him with six. Buffalo's Kyle Orton, and Buc's Mike Glennon went down five times. Jets quarterback Geno Smith and Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan were each saked for four, but poor Teddy Bridgewater of the Minnesota Vikings picked himself up off the field eight times. A few people are going to be sore this morning.

Victor Cruz - Ouch. The Giants number one receiver went down with a torn patellor tendon in his knee while trying to leap for an overthrown pass. It is always hard when the great ones go down. It is even harder when the rest of the team can't recover from it.

OT Tie - Seriously? You play all that time and you get nothing but a tie? Ugh. Why is it so difficult for the NFL to get overtime rules right?

NFL picks - week 6

Last Week - 12 - 3

Overall - 45 - 31

Indianapolis over Houston - Andrew Luck is just too hot right now and while Houston and J.J. Watt are working on getting and staying hot I don't think they will get past the Colts.

New England over Buffalo - Tom Brady and company made up for their huge whupping in week 4 last week and I don't think they fall asleep again this week.

Cincinnati over Carolina - If the Bengals had won last week, maybe Cam Newton could make a game this week, but I think the Bengals beat the Panthers.

Pittsburgh over Cleveland - We have got to keep the momentum going if we get hot in the beginning because the Browns are the comeback team. We have got to add some air time to our run game and the defense has got to be fierce.

Tennessee over Jacksonville - Uh, this game seems like a snore to me. Anyone interested in it?

Green Bay over Miami - I don't even remember the Dolphins after a week off. Can they come out and beat the Packers? They could. But Aaron Rogers seems to have found his groove and I'm not so sure about Miami.

Detroit over Minnesota - The Lions are so much fun to watch. The Vikings are so all over the field. I just went with the better team, but the Lions shouldn't discount Minnesota or they will find themselves surprised.

Denver over the Jets - I never worry about Peyton Manning not being ready. He takes every week and every team very seriously no matter their record. Doesn't mean he can't have an off day, but I don't see the Jets beating the Broncos.

Baltimore over Tampa Bay - I would love the Bucs if they beat the Ravens, but it would take a miracle. I believe in miracles, but the Ravens got beat last week and they don't lose two in a row.

San Diego over Oakland - Phillip Rivers is the Andrew Luck right now on the west coast. 

Atlanta over Chicago - Maybe I get this game locally this week so I can watch the Bears play some. I like Atlanta and what they are capable of if they can just put it all together.

Arizona over Washington - The Cardinals lost big last week and they weren't happy. They lost a player and they aren't happy. They will win so they can be happy.

Seattle over Dallas - Tony Romo is going to have to play one of his better games in Seattle's stadium, but I have a feeling he will play one of his lopsided games here against this defense.

Philadelphia over the Giants - I went back and forth on this game. It is my could-go-either-way game. I just don't know enough about the Giants yet. Haven't had the opportunity to watch them so I went with the Eagles who need to play a complete game.

San Francisco over St. Louis - What a boring Monday night game, huh? The 49ers may just find themselves smoked as the Rams are the little team that won't go down, but I went with the home team. 

The nonsense that is my life

I created the invitations and the programs for an upcoming school event that is happening this week. On Monday night I was finally given the okay to print out the program and bring it with me to our meeting the next day. I had been working at my desk most of the day and kept noticing that when I printed things there were ink blots on the paper. When I printed out the program I knew the blots were not going to pass muster with me or anyone else. I sat and wondered what in the world could be the issue, and came to the conclusion, eventually, that it was a printer issue.

I went to the laser printer that my husband had insisted upon buying and opened it up. I pulled out the tray where the cartridges reside and when I pulled out the black cartridge black powder came pouring out of the side of the cartridge. It went all over my hands, all over my desk, and all over the inside of the printer. How it avoided going all over my carpet is beyond me, but it didn't.

I had not eaten all day. I had just finished making dinner before I ran into the office to print off the program. I had a raging headache. Now I stood covered in black dusty powder that told me there was no way in hell this was something that would easily be fixed. That being the case, meant that I wasn't going to get this program printed. Not getting that printed would ruin everything because I could not send this program to someone else unless they too had the program I had used to make it. I'm afraid I lost it.

Me: "OMG! Why is this happening? What the ^%$ is happening? Can't anything just go right?"

I went on and on as I ran around with the cartridge in my hand, tilted to one side so as not to spill more powder everywhere. Madison came to calm me down and the two of us cleaned up the mess. I put everything back together again and printed my program. Of course it came out covered in gray and I knew the roller needed to be cleaned. I repeated my earlier episode of opening and pulling out the cartridge, which of course repeated my earlier mess of spilled powder, only at a lesser degree. I cleaned the roller and tried again, but it was a no go. I was not going to print on this laser printer.

We have another laser printer that resides under Tom's desk. We are told not to touch it, but the girls do so when they need another printer or when ours is on the fritz. To do this they have to transfer their project on to a jump drive which they plug into the printer and print. We all avoid Tom's computers as much as we can. Number one, because he has everything password protected and number two because he would have a fit if he thought we were using his computer for anything helpful.

Madison and I discussed how we would be able to use his printer, but because his computer was off and password protected Madison decided she would just unplug it and carry it into my office and plug it in to my computer. I thought that a big job, but was desperate. Unfortunately, for us Tom came home before we could do that, and we knew there was no way he was going to allow us to cart his printer all over the house.

I gently told him my issue and he went into my office to deal with it. He couldn't fix the printer so he converted my file to a PFD file so that I could put it on to a jump drive and print it out "anywhere". He looked around my desk.

Him: "Do you have a thumb drive?"
Me: "I do. Let me look."

I went through drawers. I went through paperwork. I went through cabinets, and pen containers, and anything that had space for a jump drive.

Me: "OMG! Why do these kids mess with my stuff? I have one jump drive. It is always right here in this container. Doggone Darcy."
Tom: "How do you know it was Darcy? Why are you blaming her?"
Me: "Because she is the one always at my desk and on my computer and around all of my stuff. MADDY???"
Maddy: "Yes?"
Me: "Did you take my jump drive and use it for any reason?"
Maddy: "No."
Me: "See! Darcy probably took it and you probably found it somewhere where she left it and you probably threw it away."
Tom: "No. I didn't do that. I haven't even been in here."

We ended up using a jump drive of Maddy's. When Tom realized I was going to use his printer he took the jump drive and said he would print my stuff. Which he did. With my help. After it was all done and I had put it all away, ready for tomorrow, I was going to sit down and finally finish eating.

Tom: "If you ever need a jump drive, I have them right here in this drawer." He pulls out MY jump drive. The one that I was searching frantically for earlier. "In fact, take this one. Here. This one has a nice long chain on it so you won't lose it. You can put it around your neck."

The man is still alive because he knows too much about electronics. I'm just saying...

My MRI follow-up

I have heard my brother and my husband tell me for years that doctors are quacks and only out for money. Recently, after I wrote my blog entry about my upcoming visit to the neurosurgeon regarding my bulging disc my male friend emailed me a link to stretches, telling me that the doctor would just want to do surgery first. While I appreciated the link I had read up on my condition and was anticipating some physical therapy and maybe some shots to the back. I headed out to my appointment.

I had done some research on the surgeon my doctor recommended. I was excited to see that he had attended a college Madison is applying to and decided to ask him about that. I also asked my doctor friend to recommend someone and he gave me two names, one of whom was this same guy. I figured I was good to go, made the appointment, filled out the hundred page forms printed off the website, and set off for the appointment.

First in the room was the PA. He was young, bald, and interested in what I had to say. He listened to my saga and told me I had four choices. One, I could live with my condition. I've lived with it for eight months. I exercise. I have no leg pain. Before he could tell me my other three choices, the door opened and the neurosurgeon entered. He too was young, dressed to the hilt, and wearing large, square glasses that I think were more for show than sight. He shook my hand, took the seat that the PA had vacated, and looked at me. I looked at the PA.

Me: "Seriously? He comes into the room and you jump up and give him your seat?"

PA: "It's his favorite chair. And this one has wheels and might roll out from underneath him and we can't have the surgeon injured."

The surgeon viewed our exchange through his glasses without blinking. The PA gave him a modified version of my history, and before he could add anything else, the surgeon told me I had a herniated disc that was pressing on my S1 nerve and that I needed surgery. Boom. That was it. Validation for the men in my life.

Me: "Seriously?"

Surgeon: "You have a significant rupture, but we'll fix that with surgery."

Me: "I'm not planning on having surgery."

Surgeon: "Can you live with this?"

Me: "I suppose so. I have."

Surgeon: "Then why are you here?"

Me: "My primary sent me here." We established who that was. "I want to know if there are things that I'm doing in my daily life or when exercising that are harmful."

Surgeon: "No. You can do what you want."

The PA tried to lighten the mood. He worked hard at making the surgeon a better guy than he was acting. He told him that he had not examined me yet. They both told me that the longer I waited the less my nerve might bounce back. I hopped up on the examining table. The PA washed his hands. The surgeon remained seated next to the table. I took the time to ask him about the college that he had attended. He told me he loved it. We discussed it some.

Surgeon: "Do you want to take off your shoes?"

Me: "Do I want to or do you want me to?"

Surgeon: "Take off your shoes."

The PA examined me. I raised my legs and he tried to push them down. I pointed my toes and he tried to push them back. I pushed forward on his hands while he tried to push back. He tested my reflexes. He tickled both legs and asked how they felt. He tickled my feet. The only test that got their attention was when he tested my reflexes behind my ankle. It was the last thing he tested and they both nodded their heads with excitement. Yep. See. Nerve pinched. Duh.

Surgeon: "Consider the surgery."

Me: "I will. I'll think about it. I've always figured it was in the cards. I just wasn't able to do anything before now. I've been a caregiver for my mother and knew dealing with this wasn't an option, but she died a few months ago, and I figured F**k it, I need to deal with this. Oh, sorry, about that."

Snickering. Laughs.

PA: "No worries. We've heard worse. We do hear worse."

Me: (looking at surgeon) "Are you the best?"

Surgeon: "....yes"

Me: "Jeez, a little hesitation there."

PA: "He is the best. I've told him, and he is smiling because he knows what I'm going to say (I didn't see a smile). I've told him that no matter where I am, even if I'm half way across the world in China, I want him to fly to me to do any type of neurosurgery."

Me: "I looked you up. You have a good rating. My buddy, (insert name) gave me your name as someone he would recommend."

Surgeon: "The radiologist?"

Me: "Yes."

Surgeon: "My wife works in his practice."

Me: "So, he was earning brownie points?"

I wasn't trying to be a smart ass, but I was annoyed. I was so annoyed that I forgot that the PA had originally given me four choices. If the first choice was live with this and obviously another choice was surgery, what were the other two choices? The surgeon ended up explaining what he would do and wrote it down for me, telling me to research it. He shook my hand and left. The PA did the same, but then he returned and gave me a booklet on exercises. I didn't remember the choice thing until I punched the elevator button upon leaving. Sigh. 

Research just confirmed what I wanted in the first place. Surgery is the last option. Before that is an option physical therapy, drugs, and shots should be tried. Surgery is not a guarantee. I'm going to try things on my own first. I need to get weight off. I'll continue with the exercises that I've been doing off and on for months. I'm walking daily. If things don't change, I'll seek out another opinion maybe with an orthopedist or go back to my own doctor for some therapy. And I'll try not to become soured on the medical profession.

Monday NFL recap - week 5

Steelers: I feel like I say the same thing every week, every year. But baby, I will take this win!

1st play - On the first play of our possession, on the punt return, Robert Golden was called for holding. A penalty? I was shocked. Seriously? It set the tone for me for this game, and it wasn't the tone I was looking for.

Quarterback run - I like the running quarterback despite the risk of injury. There are times when the it is just plain necessary. I don't know if Ben has been told not to run. I don't know if he is like me and afraid of falling down. All I know is he missed two key runs that would have gotten us first downs, and just when I typed those first two words he ran to get the first down that ended the game and gave us the win. See.

Polamalu penalty - Okay, he can make huge defensive plays that other safeties can't, but his jumping over his players to break up the offensive line and the snap isn't working this year. Last week he was penalized and this week he was penalized. While I get that I could be writing about how that move worked, and had it I would have been thrilled, but he is doing it at the wrong time during key moments and those penalties are too costly.

Penalties - Oh, let's just mention these again too. I kept track this time making little hash marks on my paper, and as each mark was made my blood pressure went up. My buddy put it best; undisciplined. I blame the coach. Tomlin has got to discipline these guys and these guys have got to stop making stupid penalties. I was shocked to hear we were the second team in penalties, but when I checked that statistic myself I found us .5 behind the 49er's. Probably number one after this game.

Interception - Finally. A pick from Brice McCain (who?) that resulted in a touchdown. And it was a great pick. McCain was paying attention, saw the ball coming, stepped in front of his man, Allen Hurns, got the pick and ran it into the end zone for the score. Beautiful. Monkey off the defense's back for this week.

Other:

Peyton Manning - New record from my boy! Second in all time touchdown passes with 503, five behind the leader, Brett Favre. Does the man just keep racking up the points and the records? Yep. But what is so great about Peyton Manning is how humble he is. "I do think about how many people have helped me throughout my career. I just think about how graterful I am for that help and support. Football's the ultimate team game." Love him.

Bucs - It has been a long week in Tampa Bay for Steelers fans. I am a Bucs fan, but my Steelers come first and losing to the team where you reside is terrible. It was worse because the media and the Bucs fans acted like they were this phenomenal team. The Steelers gave that game to the Bucs, and apparently the Bucs were paying attention last week because they came out this week and did the same thing with the Saints. The Bucs had 9 penalties for 115 yards and handed that game in overtime to New Orleans.

Colts - Thank you Indianapolis. Great final play from the defense to break up a great Joe Flacco pass that would have been a score had he caught it.

Quarterback run - Andrew Luck and Jake Locker did what I kept yelling at Ben Roethlisberger to do. They ran when they had to they both scored on their runs. Locker, the Titans leader, got drilled in the end zone by a Browns defender, which brought out the whole quarterback running argument, but that hit was a dirty hit as Locker cleared the end zone way before he was hit. Christian Kirksey, the defender, will pay for that forearm to the head, but it doesn't change my mind. Sometimes quarterbacks are going to have to run. Either that or their teammates are going to have to step up better.

Dez Bryant catch - Huge. Romo to Bryant for major yardage in overtime that got the Cowboys within field goal range. He had to leap in man to man coverage for that catch, bobbled it a bit and caught it again. The field goal was good and the Cowboys won. Huge play. That is what it is all about.

Comebacks - The Cleveland Browns were down 28-3 and everyone counted them out. Next thing you know it was 28-10 and then 28-15 and then 28-22 and then suddenly 29-28 and the game was over and the Browns were the ones jumping up and down the field. That is the way you fight. The Steelers play these guys next week, barely beat them in week one, and do not have the fight within them. I'll enjoy this week as long as I can. The St. Louis Rams too made a run at a comeback, but fell short. Either way I just like to see that fighting spirit instead of giving up and quitting.

Penalties - Well, the Steelers aren't the only ones. Most heartbreaking and the stupidest penalty this week? Kansas City's twelve men on the field.

Lions kickers - They keep missing. Last week the Lions signed Alex Henry to replace rookie Nate Freese who couldn't hit between the uprights. This week Henry too missed three attempts, the last one the deciding factor in the game. Ouch.

Bose - They are the official headphones for the NFL this year. So that means no more Dre Beats...at least during interviews. Oh, no! Say it isn't so! I didn't know this before the game started, but I did notice that the headphones the players were wearing were pink this week, and I wondered, as I always do during NFL October, if the money used to provide players with pink headphones couldn't have been better spent on breast cancer research.

Patriots - And speaking of comebacks...I knew it. I knew I should have gone with the Patriots. Say what I will about Tom Brady, the man is a fighter and he can motivate his team to pick up the pieces of last week's debacle and come out kicking and clawing. New England stuffed the Cincinnati Bengals and handed that team their first loss of the season.

NFL picks week 5

Last Week - 6 - 7

Overall - 33 - 28

Green Bay over Minnesota - I figured the Packers were at home and Minnesota couldn't even decide which players were hurt and available.

Dallas over Houston - Now I think I should have gone with the Texans. I went with the home team here too, but the Texans have been mighty stellar lately.

Detroit over Buffalo - Every time I pick the Bills they lose and when I don't pick them they win. I like the Lions and what they can do. Matthew Stafford is just fearless and determined and he has guys that can back him up.

Cleveland over Tennessee - I don't know anything about the Titans. The Browns keep thinking they can do something. Maybe today, coming off the bye, they can.

Indianapolis over Baltimore - Both teams are coming off big wins. Indy is at home, and I like their team and their quarterback better.

New Orleans over Tampa Bay - Jeez, you would have thought the Bucs won the Super Bowl last week with all the hype they got in the papers. Only our guy, Tom Jones, from Pittsburgh saw the same game I did; the one where Pittsburgh helped Tampa win. New Orleans sucks too. This is a game I get to watch. B-O-R-I-N-G. I went with the same reoccurring theme...home team advantage, but maybe I'm still being a sore loser. I'll root for the Bucs though.

Atlanta over Giants - I still haven't seen the Giants this year. I'm impressed with Matt Ryan and company though despite last weeks fiasco. They will make up for it this week on the road. Or...maybe not.

Philadelphia over St. Louis - The Eagles should be mad after last week's loss. If they don't think like the Steelers and play this team like they are winners and not 1-2, then they should kill them.

Carolina over Chicago - Well, last week the Bears made me look bad against the Packers so in my annoyance I'm going with the Panthers. So there!

Pittsburgh over Jacksonville - I'm thinking that the Steelers will want to redeem themselves after that terrible debacle of last week, but then again they never follow my train of thought. But they are my boys and deep down I know they are winners. Big winners surely over a 0-4 team? Ah, jeez, if we lose here I can't think how long the season will be.

Denver over Arizona - Well, the Broncos are coming off of a loss and a bye. The Cardinals haven't lost yet, but Carson Palmer is out so I'm going with Peyton Manning.

San Diego over Jets - Jeez, are the Jets still playing football?

San Francisco over Kansas City - I didn't watch last week's game where the Chiefs played like the old team instead of this year's team. I did watch the 49ers game last week. If the players can quit whining about how they hate their coach, Jim Harbaugh, and play like they played against the Eagles I think they win. 

Cincinnati over New England - Ah, jeez. Now this is my other one that I think maybe I should have gone the other way. What happened last week to the Patriots? The Bengals are undefeated and should be well rested. Sometimes that rest isn't the greatest in the early weeks, but I picked them for good defense over a weak Patriots offense.

Seattle over Washington - The Skins are still muddling along and the Super Bowl Champs are still winning. Their one loss made them better.

5 things to start the weekend

1. NBC online rocks - To be able to write about the new fall TV shows I've had to catch up online. We have Apple TV so that I can watch them on the big screen through the network apps. ABC, the leader in online viewing, now sucks. You can only watch a show one week after it has aired unless you can be verified through a provider. None of the providers are any I have heard of let alone are in my area. Why this is has not registered yet with me. I think it is stupid if they want viewers. NBC, on the other hand, is my favorite. Few commercials and I can watch all the shows I want.
2. Raspberries in smoothies - Not a good thing. I'm trying to get back to shredding, thus I must drink smoothies. Most of the berry fruit used in these are not in season in my area right now and are either non existent or too pricey. Raspberries are affordable, but the seeds kill a smoothie. I try to drink and chew, but there are too many of the little buggers and I end up spitting them out. For awhile I used a sieve, but that was messy and too time consuming. Frankly, I'm getting tired of bananas.
3. Weather - I live in Florida so everyone wants weather updates. Plus, we are getting a cold front tonight. It is suppose to be in the 60's when we wake up and a high of only 79 and a high of 83 on Monday. How exciting!
4. Solar lights - I bought some Halloween lights that power up with the sun and turn on at dark. I only paid a dollar apiece for them and doubt their abilities, but I'm so excited to have a lit up walkway. I'm going to be annoyed if they don't work.
5. Sadness - We just got a call today that our neighbor who makes homemade treats for all the dogs in the neighborhood had a stroke on Thursday and has yet to regain consciousness. She lives several streets over from us and Elliot knows her house. He trots right up to her front door every morning for his treat. She is a walker and a very active gardener. I've very sad for her and her family. 

Detecting 101

In my position as a personal representative I'm having to deal with a deadbeat individual who owes the estate money. He was loaned said money in what I consider an illegal way, but since that ship has sailed I'm left with getting the money. In the course of doing just that I was told to hire a private investigator. What?

In my teenage years I was a private investigator. My neighbor, Robby, and I ran M&M Private Investigation. I made ID badges that we never flashed. We worked out of my garage with my fingerprint kit that I had gotten for Christmas one year. We made flyers and distributed them around the neighborhood, and we spent a lot of time sitting in the garage waiting for clients. 

Our first job was the Case of the Broken Coffee Cup. My mother hired us. She wanted to know who had broken the handle on her coffee cup. She probably thought it was me and that hiring me to solve this would make me confess. But I didn't break the handle. Robby and I dusted the cup for prints and transferred the prints on to the kit paper and discovered tire tracks. In interviewing my mother we found that she had found the broken coffee cup on the floor of the garage. Being the great detectives that we were, Robby and I deduced that she herself had broken the coffee cup.

Case #1 - Client remembers seeing the coffee cup intact for the last time when she used it to drink her morning coffee. Client does not remember the date. Client discovered the broken cup on the floor of the garage this week. Printing on the cup shows tire tracks that match client's vehicle tires. In reconstruction we found that the highest probability was that client herself had exited the home with coffee cup in hand on her way out. Upon entering the garage, she got sidetracked, laid the coffee cup down on the side arm of the grill that sat in front of her car. She then left the garage in her car. When she returned she bumped the grill with her car, causing the cup to fall to the ground where she then backed over the handle. When questioned, the client agreed that she had bumped the grill and that she was quite certain our deduction was correct. Pieces of the handle were found on the garage floor and under the grill. Client paid us. Case closed.

With that successful case under our belt, we were inundated with cases, of course. The biggest case we had came from two of my classmates, neighbors in the hood. Their brother, a policeman, had parked his police car in front of their house and it had been broken into the previous night and tons of radio stuff had been stolen. The twins, our clients, suspected the teenagers that lived down the street from them. They apparently didn't have faith in the police department to solve the case and hired us. Robby and I investigated, going over the car in fine detail. We got fingerprints off the door handle, but with no database to compare them to we were stuck. We decided that the best way to catch the thief was to use bait. 

The family had a camper parked in their driveway and the twins got permission for us to spend the night in it. To set up the bait the four of us rode our bikes up and down the street past the teenagers house where they were playing basketball. We carried on a conversation about the car robbery, with one of the twins discussing how great it was that they hadn't broken into the camper as it was full of camera equipment and electronics. (Apparently, that was a hot commodity back then.) To add to the bait we also discussed how the lock on the camper door was busted. Robby and I wrote the script and we practiced it in the twins' garage before we rode up and down the street sucking in the criminals. That night the twins and I slept in the camper. Since Robby was a boy he was not invited, and I was on my own with our clients. We all had places inside the camper. One twin, Lisa, slept in the bed above the driver. The other twin, Linda, slept on the padded bench that went with the dining table. I slept in the back bedroom. (I wasn't stupid)

We left the camper unlocked. We took rope and made a lasso by the entryway. The other end of the rope was attached to the bed Lisa was sleeping in. The plan was that the intruder would enter the camper, step into the lasso which Lisa would pull, causing the intruder to fall to the floor. Linda would jump up from her position and tackle them. I would run from the back bedroom and clobber them over the head with a broom. We practiced it several times. The biggest worry was me beating Linda over the head by accident.

We had fun that night in the camper. We ate and watched movies. We told ghost stories. We talked about how we would be on the news once we solved this case. Finally around two o'clock the teenagers down the street came calling. They came on their bikes with friends. They rode around and around the camper talking in loud voices. We were sure that they said things about robbing it and robbing the police car. Lisa got scared. She hopped down out of her bed and locked the camper door. Not long after that someone tried the door of the camper. We peeked out of windows and could make out the teenagers in the light that was in the twins' yard. Someone yelled that it was locked. Then the porch light came on, the twins' parent came out, thinking we were out in the camper partying, and the teens hightailed it out of there.

The next morning Robby and I fingerprinted the door knob to the camper. It matched the one we had taken off of the police car door handle. We turned it all over to the twins' brother. The way I remember the story going is that a few weeks later they arrested the eldest teen that lived down the street, but that could just be something we all made up to make the story a better one. Either way, Robby and I considered the case solved and closed. We waived our fee.

So when the lawyer told me that the best way to handle this deadbeat that owed money to the estate was to hire a private investigator I scoffed. I was a P.I. I would take the case. I would solve the mystery. I would make this guy put up or shut up. I was on this guy's trail...

Monday Morning recap - week 4

Steelers - Sigh. First, let me say that I took this game as a breeze for the Steelers. Secondly, I knew, however, that the Bucs weren't as bad as they played on Thursday night. Lastly, I was concerned about this game, and rightly so, despite my breezy attitude. Terrible. 

Penalties - We gave them the game with 13 penalties for 125 yards. Last week we had 11 penalties for 91 yards. I would say someone hasn't done enough to shut that crap down. Coach Mile Tomlin came to the post conference game steamed, but I say too little too late. After the first three games we had 35 penalties for a total of 262 yards and now we add over one hundred more? That's on the coaches. That is on Tomlin. Shame on all of them. Learn the game boys! Stupid penalties like grabbing the face mask? That isn't a new penalty. Unsportsmanlike conduct? Not new. Learn the damn rules of the game! And these weren't just rookies racking up the penalties, but veterans. Troy Polamalu? Come on! The Bucs are known for these nonsense penalties and we even beat them in that. 

End zone Celebration - Another dumb penalty. Hell, I got the memo this year that that stuff wasn't going to be allowed. It wasn't allowed last year. Yes, it is a stupid rule, but it doesn't matter. IT IS THE RULES. Celebrate on the sidelines. Better yet, celebrate when the damn game is over and you have won. 

Media over-reacting - Any time someone of importance winced or didn't hop up off the field we had the announcers speculating on injuries. We watched what might have been his career ending injury over and over again while meanwhile the player being discussed was out throwing a touchdown. Enough already. Not every hit is season ending. Wait until we know for sure. Wait until a player is carted off the field. Wait until the official word comes down. 

Records - Ben Roethlisberger became only the 12th NFL player to throw for 35,000 yards with the same team. Antonio Brown had his 20th consecutive game with 5 catches to become the first player in the NFL with that record. None of it means a thing when you lose. 

Sacks - Ben was sacked five times in the first half. Unexcusable. Yes, Ben holds on to the ball longer than most, but the O line knows that. They should be ready. 

Antonio Brown - Great game...again. His catches are amazing. Have I mentioned I shook his hand a few years ago?

Shaun Suisham - 24 kicks through the uprights in a row. You knew his streak would end. Whatever. The monkey is off his back now. Offense shouldn't let it get to the kicker in my mind. Not against the Bucs. 

James Harrison - Last year he wanted more money and the Steelers let him go. He played for the Bengals barely. They let him go this year. He begged for his job back with the Steelers. He retired with them instead last week. And then the Steelers lost Jarvis Jones and Ike Taylor. They needed Harrisin and sent in the veterans,Brett Keisel, Troy Polamalu, Ike Taylor, and Coach Tomlin to talk him into coming back. He ran out of the tunnel again to a cheering crowd and then pressured Glennon. Welcome back James. 

Other - 

Steve Smith - I always feel like when players get cut loose from teams and then have to play against said team that they would want revenge; feed that revenge and play like a beast. Former Carolina Panther, Steve Smith did just that wearing a Baltimore Raven jersey. He had seven catches for 139 yards and two touchdowns. Take that Panther ownership. 

Aaron Rogers - I saw his post conference and he said what I keep saying. It is still early in the season. Everyone needs to relax. 

JJ Watt - He is earning his big paycheck, isn't he? Nice pick and 80 yard run for the TD yesterday against the Bills. Must be all that dancing he did at the elementary school dance. 

Commercials - I like the NFL Shop commercial with the Minnesota woman whose kids all find other teams to back despite growing up in Viking territory. Also thought the nomore.org commercial was good. 

Eagles - Undefeated no more. Nick Foles was off. The defense let San Francisco score double digit unanswered points in the last quarter. No comeback this time. Instead the 49ers intercepted to end it and put a W in their column for a change. 

NFL 2014 picks - Week #4

Last Week - 12-4

Overall - 27-21

Washington over Giants - Whatever. I thought I knew both teams. Guess I didn't.

Chicago over Green Bay - I haven't seen the Bears play yet this year, but they are at home and the Packers can't seem to pull out a game. This is a toss up.

Indianapolis over Tennessee - Andrew Luck is finding his groove now. Plus going up against mediocre teams helps too.

Miami over Oakland - Another game I could care less about.

Detroit over Jets - If the Lions can play like I saw them play then they will win. The problem is that they sometimes nap on Sundays.

Pittsburgh over Tampa - I hope that the Steelers don't come in to this game thinking it is a no brainer because that is when the trouble starts. And seriously, we should smoke these guys. Did you see them last week? They won't be as bad as that and they have something to prove, but the Steelers are a much better team.

Baltimore over Carolina - Panther's Cam Newton is aching. The Ravens are pretending their club isn't in disarray. The Ravens are at home.

Buffalo over Houston - My wildcard win pick. I like what I see from these Bills. 

San Diego over Jacksonville - Phillip Rivers in the house!

Atlanta over Minnesota - Unlike the Ravens, the Vikings can't shake off their loss of Adrian Peterson. The Falcons meanwhile are on a roll.

Philadelphia over San Francisco - I think now that I've locked in my pick that I should have gone the other way. I know the 49ers are struggling 

Dallas over New Orleans - Here is another one that I'm second guessing. Maybe Tony Romo comes to play. Maybe Dallas protects him. And...maybe not.

New England over Kansas City - Both Kansas City. Poor Andy Reid. Yeah, I don't see them pulling off a Monday night win over the man.

5 things to start the weekend

1. I changed the title of my blog. Maybe I'll change it again. With the growth of my children, my job is changing daily. I'm thinking maybe chauffeuring should be in there somewhere.
2. How great was Derek Jeter's last game in Yankee Stadium? A walk-off hit to end a storybook career. Doesn't get any better than that. That is the way the great ones go. Now he comes home to Florida. Could a Rays job be next?
3. I need a folder to keep all of the great ideas and recipes I see on Facebook. But then I remember that there is no way in hell they will ever turn out as good as the pictures I'm looking at, there is no way I will ever do or make any of them, and there is no way I need another useless folder lying around on my desk.
4. Why are boxes so pricey? I'm thinking I need a business where I collect and distribute boxes to people for mailing. Free. Then again that isn't much of a business, is it? But seriously, there are so many boxes out there in dumpsters and yet I'm having to buy one to mail things. Something is wrong somewhere.
5. My Publix, my favorite neighborhood grocery that has been demolished and rebuilt, opens next Thursday. I told my kids we are camping out the night before and skipping school to be the first ones to enter it. They aren't so on board with that.

Saturday photos via social media

Last Saturday was suppose to be a very busy day. Darcy had a major swim meet from 6:00 am to 1:00 pm. Finals were from 4:00 to 7:00 pm. While we didn't expect her to make the finals in an individual event she would be needed to participate in her medley as all relays made the finals. Her swim coach did not care that homecoming was that night because she knew Darcy's medley relay had a good chance of placing in the top eight so she was expected to return for the finals.

We live in mid county between two major cities. These cities house most of the specialty stores and malls so that I can go south or north depending on my mood. Since I had errands that involved some of these specialty stores I mapped out our Saturday. Darcy had a car pool ride that morning to the pool. I would head north later in the morning, do my shopping, pick up Darcy, have lunch and head to The Condo. It was closer to the pool then my house and we decided Darcy could have a little nap there and return to the pool at 4:00 pm. Kelly decided to join me on this Saturday adventure because fun follows me everywhere I go.

My good laid plans changed in the early morning. Darcy texted me to tell me the coach was allowing someone else to take her place in the medley relay so she did not have to return at 4:00 pm. So I texted Kelly and pushed back our time of departure. I leisurely had breakfast and coffee with my husband and read the paper. Of course, Darcy then called to tell me that her coach had changed her mind and she was once again expected to return for the finals. Since I had delayed my day, but still needed to hit those stores, I made other arrangements for Darcy and Kelly and I continued on with our original plans.

Because fun follows us we decided to Instagram (me) and SnapChat (her) our day so that our many followers friends and family could follow along and have fun with us. Of course, that then led me to add it to the list of blog entries for those who might not be as social media savvy as us.

12:00 pm - Our original departure time was an hour prior to when we actually left. I had been up early to see Darcy off to her swim meet and had had trouble returning to sleep so that when I finally did sleep I slept later. Kelly arrived at my house and we mapped out the plan again, as Kelly is hard of hearing, pays no attention to me when I speak, likes to be told several times of any plans I make. We jumped in my car and headed north.

Kelly: "I hope there is going to be some eating in our future."
Me: "I told you we were going to have lunch. We were suppose to pick up Darcy and take her to lunch."
Kelly: "Well, can we eat first? I'm starving."
Me: "Where would you like to eat?"
Kelly: "I don't care. Let's eat where you want to eat because you are pickier then I am."
Me: "That is hilarious! You are the pickiest person I know."
Kelly: "Let's eat at the first place we come to and that way neither of us can complain."
Me: "No, I don't want to do that."

I was kidding. See how fun I am? So we did. It was a sub shop in a strip mall. Kelly was a hesitant I could see, but I insisted. Neither one of us had been here before. It was small, not air conditioned, had a big grill behind the counter, and was a family owned and operated business. We ordered hot sandwiches and fries and enjoyed every bite.

1:30 pm - I had received a Bed, Bath & Beyond ad in the mail a week prior and had decided that I needed the leaf placemats that I spotted in it. I am not the decorator type, but I like to play one. I have a fall tablecloth that I put on my dining room table September through November. Because the table is prominent in my home it is the dumping place for homework, backpacks, library books, mail, etc. I have been trying to discourage that sort of thing so that I can use the table for its intended purpose when needed. To cut down on washing the tablecloth after eating I have taken to adding placemats. My fall tablecloth is white with leaves and I just knew that the leaf placemats would match perfectly.

Bed, Bath & Beyond was in the same strip mall as our sub shop so we popped over there and spent more time in there then I had intended. Kelly is a browser and that place is just ripe for people like her so I humored her and wandered around the store behind her making sure she didn't buy anything.

She didn't, but I got lots of Christmas ideas for her. I also got a few other items of importance along with the placemats.

2:30 pm - Our next stop was the Honey Baked Ham store. I have been wanting to purchase a ham for my SIS and family while she goes through her chemotherapy, but their ham store, which is around the corner from my brother's work, is only open until 3:00 pm. Knowing that my brother would not drive home at that time of the day with a ham, I decided a gift card would be the way to go. Kelly opted to stay in the car.

Where she videotaped herself whining about being left behind in a hot car. I was in and out in minutes, but to hear her tell it I was in there eating ham and planning parties. It was a funny video though. She posted it on snap chat. I'm glad no one followed her plea to call the police.

3:00 pm - I wanted to go to JoAnn Fabrics so that I could make a blanket for my SIS. I had Googled gift items for cancer patients and one of the suggestions that kept popping up was a blanket and because I am quite the seamstress I knew this was right up my alley.

My SIS wanted a pink blanket so I took photos of all the pink fabric in the store and texted them to her so she could choose as Kelly and I were arguing on the ones we wanted. We added some blue and purple fabric too and then we got cocky creative and started mixing and matching thinking we would produce blankets that were reversible. By the time we finished we had spent more time in that store then in all the stores combined. Kelly bought two different fabrics that she found in a bin that had wrapped sets of fabric for blankets. Her fabric was thrown into the bin, out of its wrapper, and she wasn't sure of the price. There were two different priced sets and the fabric cutter suggested she take the lower priced item up to the cashier. Kelly felt the fabric was from the higher priced set and being an idiot honest person she paid that price. It wasn't until later that she discovered she had mismatched sizes.

4:45 pm - We headed to The Condo to use flush toilets and check in. I like to do some shopping while I'm there and much to both of our surprise Kelly found an item she had been contemplating buying at Bed, Bath & Beyond; a grater/zester. I found a funnel and a small cutting board.

5:45 pm - On the way back home to embarrass help Darcy get ready for homecoming I stopped off at the BBQ hut that my mom loved right on the walking trail. We bought some ribs and pulled pork and got home in time to offer Darcy fashion and make-up tips.

6:45 pm - The parents and "boyfriend" arrived and we did the picture taking on the front lawn. After they all left Kelly and I went into the Steelers room and started making our blankets. Elliot thought this great fun and volunteered to help.

10:30 pm - Blankets made Kelly headed home. I had one last thing to finish before I called it a day. 

I think the day was a success in real time and in pictures.

Homecoming 2014

This past weekend was homecoming for the girls. Friday was the football game and Saturday was the dance. Last year they both went with a huge group of kids from their high school magnet program. This year Maddy went with a group of girls and Darcy went with a date.

I never went to high school dances. Not homecoming. Not prom. Back in my day, back in the dark ages, you only went to these dances with someone from the opposite sex. No one went stag and no one went with a group of people from the same sex. Heaven forbid. You had a date or you didn't go. I never got asked so I didn't go. I never had the experience of picture taking or corsages or sweaty palms as you danced cheek to cheek.

The girls started dress shopping a couple of weeks ago. I wasn't invited to accompany them. They went with girlfriends, parents money in hand. Darcy texted selfies of herself in various dresses back to us so we could help her decide. Madison shopped silently. Both came home with beautiful dresses with minimal price tags and they spent a lot of time discussing shoes and jewelry. Madison loaned Darcy her new pair of heels that she had just bought this summer, as well as her earrings from prom. Darcy offered Madison one of her necklaces.

The day of prom Madison was picked up by her friend and the two of them went to another friend's house to get dressed. They wanted to be there because the friend lived on the water and they decided that was a more beautiful setting for picture taking. They had dinner together and then went to the dance.

Darcy was asked to homecoming by her "boyfriend". He bought her the iced coffee she likes from Dunkin Donuts and on the cup he wrote, "Will you go to homecoming with me?" She accepted and he showed up at our door, corsage in hand. As did his parents, camera in hand.

While I didn't go to high school dances I knew the routine. I cleaned my house prior to their arrival. My husband mowed and beautified the lawn. We had our cameras ready. We made the two kids tramp from one side of the yard to another, looking for the perfect light, the perfect picture. We chatted and then bundled them up in his parents' car and sent them to the dance (his parents driving).

In five hours they were both home again, shoes off and hair back to normal. How was the dance? They both shrugged. "It was fine." "Good."

Dealing with the aftermath

Today I am heading up to The Condo to help my mother's neighbor. It is another one of those "neighbor" issues that I've written about countless times, and that send me fuming into the battlefield. Growing up, we didn't really have neighbor issues, or if we did, they were dealt with face to face and everyone moved on to live their lives and remained friendly. At least that is the way I saw and remember things and my mother never disputed it.

When my parents first bought The Condo in a small complex with four buildings and less than thirty units all of the neighbors worked together. There was a board that managed the place with a president that did all the repairs and pool cleaning himself. As he aged other neighbors leaped in to assist; my mother's next door neighbor, Hank (name has been changed to protect the innocent), being one of them. Everyone fixed up things when they saw things that needed fixing and everyone communicated with the president when they had issues, questions, etc. It was all very friendly in the beginning.

Then things began to change as the economy changed. People sold high. Buyers bought and rented. The board changed hands. A management company was brought in. All went smoothly for a few years because the board consisted of those owners from the beginning of time, a simpler time, but as more people moved in and wanted changes to their unit or to the grounds or to the pool a coup was formed to oust those board members. Suddenly the complex wasn't so friendly anymore.

I tried to stay out of those things, but my mother was often embroiled in them despite her health. She sat on the board for awhile until she got tired of attending the meetings via phone conferences, until the stress was too much, and until she realized no one was listening anymore. Once while coming back from a doctor's appointment she was accosted in the parking lot by an unhappy resident who was part of the coup. I was unloading groceries and carrying them upstairs while she talked to my mother. When her voice raised I hiked back downstairs to collect my mother and told her that the grass wasn't always greener on the other side. I reminded her that she and her little group were staging their coup because they wanted changes that would benefit them and that once they were in charge someone else would take their places too. That went over her head. She lasted a year as a board member and recently resigned.

The big saga now is with a couple that moved in two years ago. They wanted to make some improvements on their condo and the landscaping, but found out that what they wanted to do was against the condo regulations. They argued. They lost. They worked to overthrow the board, succeeded, and now are making waves by doing what they want. Against the rules? They are in charge it doesn't matter.

The woman, I shall refer to her as PF, doesn't care for my mom's next door neighbor, SA. He recently trimmed two branches on a tree that grew up between our two units. The two branches had been dead for some time and SA was complaining that the ground crew wasn't dealing with them. So he thought he would just fix that himself like he use to do in the old days. He trimmed them. While he was doing so PF, who lives way across the parking lot in an area off from the rest of us, came charging over to confront him. She yelled. He yelled. She called the police. The police sent to his house. Two days later a bulldozer pulled out the tree and another tree was planted in its place. Reasoning? The tree died due to SA's trimming of the tree.

So now we have a legal issue. The board wants SA to pay for the new tree. SA is not planning on paying for a tree that was perfectly fine before a bulldozer ripped it out of the yard. Lawyers are involved. Petitions are being distributed for signatures. SA is all a twitter. His wife is all a twitter because he is all a twitter. My mom use to be his sounding board. She could talk him off the ledge. That has become my job now.

I'm heading up there to research files regarding the condo. I shall search the Internet for Florida condo regulations. I shall sign the petition. I shall listen to SA while he grumbles and gripes. I shall shake my head at the stupidity of it all. Somewhere along the way through the past we forgot what it was to be a neighbor; to talk to one another and just be...well...neighborly. And because we have forgotten this we will all pay through our wallets and through our hearts. And that is just plain sad.

NFL Monday morning recap - week 3

Steelers - Whew! For most of the game a minute there I was worried.

Penalties - Just once I would like to not have to address this every recap. This is always a current theme in the post conferences too. When will it not be? When we this get taken care of by the coaching staff? When will the players listen?

Running - The play calling still drives me nuts. Am I the only one that sees a need for Ben to throw? Am I the only one who notices that when Ben does throw that we move down the field toward the end zone? Yes, we had two big running plays, but that wasn't until the second half. Please, let's let more passing into our game.

Running - Le'Veon Bell ran for 147 yards and LeGarrette Bloung ran for 118. Been a long time since that has happened in a game. Now lets hope that those two didn't go out last night and celebrate their huge runs and maybe we can continue with the big runs (mixed with some Big Ben passing).

Catches - Huge catches were made yesterday in a lot of the games with the receivers doing a hell of a job dragging their feet. Antonio Brown was one of them.

Jumping - LeGarrette Blount tried to jump over tackles not once, but twice. Who thinks this is a good idea? Was he not watching after /Brown's week one fiasco? Does he not follow social media? The media? Stop already with that nonsense.

Big Ben - Another huge play by the big guy. He fooled everyone, including NBC's camera guy, when he did a pump fake to the left side of the end zone. By the time the defense had recovered he was scrambling, getting away from one defender, before heaving to the right side of the end zone for the touchdown.

Toughness - When the going gets tough the Steelers can't seem to rally. Ike Taylor went down with what appears to be a broken arm, snapped in two by our man, and the team just deflated. We have got to pull from those kind of situations; dig deep and win one for the injured man. Without the huge penalty down at our ten yard line and the fumble in the end zone by the Panthers, I'm not sure we would have pulled that game out.

Final Thought - So glad we don't have Jonathan Dwyer as our running back any more.

Other - 

Safety - Explain to me the play calling of a run when your team is deep in the end zone? I knew when the Packers were lined up that the Lions were going to sack Aaron Rogers for a safety. I was right on the safety, but wrong on the method. Probably because I never think a team can be that nuts. Yet they are. The Steelers call that play often too. WHAT?

Matthew Stafford - I mentioned last year how I liked watching this guy and he didn't disappoint me yesterday. He has no fear, I swear. It is like watching a kid play backyard football. He has confidence. He has the eye. He yells at his line when protection breaks down. He runs. And he can throw rockets when needed. Fun to watch. 

Rams - They must have watched the Falcons play on Thursday night. Unfortunately, they weren't playing the Bucs. 

Injuries - Is it just me or does it seem like the bodies are piling up sooner and faster than normal? And the major injuries are hitting major players. Yesterday Matt Cassell and De'Angelo Hall were carted off the field. A hit to Philly's quarterback Nick Foles started a fight. The Ravens Dennis Pitta went down on his own. The Steelers lost veteran Ike Taylor. The list goes on and on...

Julius Peppers - He came out after halftime to play some ball. He gave Stafford a hard time sacking him and forcing a fumble. Too bad the rest of his team didn't get the same message. 

Nick Foles -Like Stafford, he is young, reckless, confident and tough as nails. And the Eagles are undefeated for like the first time in a hundred years. 

Fantasy football - Suddenly this is as serious in the media as the real thing. I mean the football analysts are giving fantasy advice in between real analyzing. I caught the NFL Network guy saying he would sit out Peyton Manning, and I thought he had had a stroke on camera until I realized he was talking fantasy football. I hope whoever invented that nonsense is making some money. I prefer to stick with the real thing. 

Peyton Manning - I tweeted that even making interceptions there is no one better. How great was his run down the field to tie up the game and force an OT? Have I mentioned how much I love him?

Russell Wilson - He was the only one on the sidelines that knew Manning was going to tie it. He was already in the OT and thinking through what he needed to do. Then he went out and did it almost singlehandedly. 

Talib - I couldn't believe that Denver took this guy. Of course, that was prior to all the NFL drama. Wait and he'll be the next guy sitting out and collecting a paycheck. His penalty at the end of the game in front of the official wasn't anything new to us Tampa Bucs followers.

Terry Bradshaw - His son-in-law, former Tennessee Titan kicker Rob Bironas, died Saturday in a car crash less than a mile from home. Bradshaw was not on Fox's pregame show, flying instead to be with his daughter. I'm sorry for his family. They have had their share of deaths.

Roger Goodell - He takes a licking and insists on continuing in his role as NFL commissioner. I didn't see his press conference this week until afterwards, but he just doesn't get it, does he? He needs a public relations guy to work with him on meekness. 

NFL 2014 Picks - Week #3

Last Week - 8-8

Overall - 15-17

Atlanta over Tampa Bay - Thank goodness I learned from the last two weeks, but even then I didn't expect what actually happened.

San Diego over Buffalo - I know that Buffalo has been the little team that could, but Phillip Rivers is smoking hot right now and that boy can PASS.

Cincinnati over Tennessee - The Bengals are on a roll. 

Baltimore over Cleveland - I know Cleveland has a following and a lot of media attention, but the Ravens are just so good at winning even when their organization is under fire. I suppose I should give them credit for that....nah. 

Green Bay over Detroit - Well maybe I'm warming up to Aaron Rogers or maybe I just haven't had a good opportunity to watch either team. That changes this week as this is one of the games on locally. What?

Dallas over St. Louis - I don't know. Maybe Tony Romo has it this week?

New England over Oakland - Are the Raiders still in this league?

New Orleams over Minnesota - I keep saying this, but I don't see Payton and company going 0-3 and the Vikings have lost their running back and unlike the Ravens, distractions are a bother. 

Houston over Giants - Poor Eli Manning. Does he even have someone to throw the ball to? He sure doesn't have protection and spends more time on the ground then any other quarterback. I have to go with the Texans and their big $$ J.J. Watt. 

Philadelphia over Washington - This should be a good game. Kirk Cousins was hot last week and is in again this week. The Eagles don't show up until after halftime so they better hope Cousins doesn't get too hot before then. 

Indianapolis over Jacksonville - No way Andrew Luck loses this week. 

San Francisco over Arizona - The Cardinals are annoyed they aren't getting respect for last year's record and while that may be pushing them this year, they need to let it go now and concentrate on this team this year. The 49'ers lost last week and they will take advantage of the Cardinals loss at quarterback and steal the game. 

Miami over Kansas City - One of those games that I snore at his week and just picked random. 

Seattle over Denver - Everyone gets so excited when the "rematch" of the Super Bowl happens, but these are different teams with different guys. I'm picking Seattle because they got beat last week and won't recover from that until they have another win.

Pittsburgh over Carolina - The Steelers have had rest. The Steelers have had practices, something Troy Polamalu made reference to last week. I know the Panthers are looking good, but I have a feeling our offense will roll. 

Chicago over the Jets - The Jets are too up and down for me at this point. I took Da Bears. 

5 things to start the weekend

1. Technology only happens for me upon force. The same with my friend. She and I had an early meeting Friday and her husband kept interrupting us to remind her they needed to get to the store to pick up their new IPhone 6's. She could have cared less. Thirty minutes after receiving hers she dropped it and cracked the front.
2. Our weather here is slyly changing, ever so subtle. Just in time for me as I adapt to what I think is hot flashes. And to top that off I come from a family of sweaters (not the garmet) so add in the flashes with that and cooler weather, even by five degrees, is a blessing for me. 
3. Tonight is homecoming for the girls. Both are going, Maddy with a group of girls and Darcy with a date.  It will be our first experience taking the photos with his parents and all of that stuff. I'll have to clean my house. (Madison rolls eyes...blog coming up on that soon)
4. I wrote my first grant this week in between high school drama, laundry, football, and rainy weather. That didn't leave much time for blogging. I have got to manage my time better and get into a more organized routine. I am pretty proud of the job I did on the grant, but everything I read said not to get my hopes up as statistics show first timers usually get rejected. Way to pump people up!
5. I still haven't gotten over the Thursday Night NFL game. Tampa, Tampa, Tampa. (Shaking my head sadly)

My first MRI

While caring for my mother the past three and a half years I injured my lower back. The first time was a couple of years ago and I spent a lot of time lying on the floor on my back to relieve the pain. Eventually the sciatic nerve got pinched and I experienced pain and numbness running down my right leg. It would come and go. After sitting for over an hour one day in Bed, Bath & Beyond in one of their massage chairs while the girls did some Christmas shopping, I was cured. I'm not sure how or why, but the next day I could move around and the pain down the leg was gone. Periodically, depending on the shoes I wore or how much standing and walking I did, I would have some lower back pain, but it never lasted long.

At the beginning of January while my mother was in a nursing facility, the crappy one with the small bathroom, I had to help her by leaning over the wheelchair and twisting in a way that my back protested. A week after that I had to lift my mother into her wheelchair after calling 911 for help because she was completely out of her head and insisting on getting up. I tried to lift using my knees, but I must not have done it correctly because I've had pain ever since. First came the lower back pain. Then came the pain in the piriformis muscle which irritated the sciatic nerve and the pain and the numbness started again on the right side of my right leg from the knee to my toes. It never left. 

When my mother died I told myself I would get this looked at by a professional. Then summer came and we were goofing off busy and I put it off. After the diagnosis of my SIL, I experienced some breast pain myself, panicked like I'm known to do, and decided to get off the pot by calling the doctor. I figured I would do it all in one visit; the overdue blood work from February, the breast issue, and the lower back and numbness problem. My doctor I think thought I was either a hypochondriac or a nut job. But she dutifully dealt with my blood work, sent me for a breast mammogram and ultrasound, and scheduled me for an MRI on my back.

I have never had an MRI. I prided myself on that because once upon a time I never had medical problems. I was always the one that was never sick save for a cold here and there. After I turned 40 my body went to pot and illnesses and weird medical conditions forged past my strong barrier to make me sick and crazy. Yet. I never had to have an MRI. Until now. I left it to deal with last. After the mammogram and the ultrasound proved I was a nut case and a hypochondriac, I had the MRI last week.

I was a bit nervous going into it. I've read so many articles and heard from others how claustrophobic it is, how loud it is, and how coffin like it is. My mother, the queen of MRI's, complained how miserably uncomfortable they were for people with back conditions, yet she always fell asleep in them. My daughter had one a few months ago for her shoulder and she came out all nonchalant about her experience. Yet. I didn't channel those two, but instead focused on the claustrophobic, noisy, coffin, and got myself all tied up in knots by the time the appointment rolled around. The only saving grace, and what kept me sane, was the thought of getting to wear scrubs.

When the kind technician led me into the locker room she stopped and focused on my outfit. She hummed some as she studied me, thought aloud, "pants off", and proceeded to give me scrub bottoms, telling me I could leave my shirt on. Uh, no. I told her I thought I looked magnificent in scrubs and if I was going to wear the bottoms I might as well wear the top too. I told her that I had almost worn my own scrubs that morning. She shrugged and got me a top. It was like coming home after I put them on. I'm telling you, those things are the most comfortable, roomy, eye-fetching ensembles ever. And they make me look like a doctor health professional. Which I play all the time.

From the locker room we walked the halls of the imaging center taking right turns and then left turns, and she spun me around three times with my eyes closed and we did the hokey pokey. For a small building, that shares half of it with the breast center, this thing is a maze. We finally entered the area where my technician, whose name I have forgotten, but let's call her Donna, would be pushing the buttons and levers of the machine while watching me through hidden cameras and a giant window that protected her from all of the harmful gamma rays that would be shooting into me. Her room was dark with a large control panel that was lit up with different colored lights just waiting to be pushed. From there we entered into the room that housed the spaceship MRI. It was a white cylinder with a pull out panel covered in paper and with a pillow at one end.

"Hop up on here," Donna instructed. "Get comfortable and put these in your ears." She snickered and handed me two tiny, yellow, foam pegs. They kind of plugs that kids with tubes in their ears used to wear when I taught swimming lessons, and which ended up floating in the pool instead of protecting their ears EVERY time.

"Seriously?" I asked, staring at them in my hand. "Where's my headphones with the music?"

Donna laughed aloud. "They've been telling us we are getting music for years now. We don't have it." She put a pad under my legs as I climbed on to the panel and instructed me to move up and then down and then up and then down.

I informed her that I had exceptional hearing, one of the things that hadn't disappeared at the age of 40, and that I had once been written up in a medical journal for my exceptional hearing. I wanted her to understand that I was different from all the rest of her patients and that foamy pegs weren't going to cut it and might do some long term damage to someone with my abilities. Hello. I was wearing scrubs.

"You can put your hands over your ears if you want, " Donna said, ever the problem solver. "It won't bother me."

Well, it bothered me. Everything I read said you can't move. Not if you have an itch. Not if you have to sneeze. Not if you have to breath. No. Moving. I shoved the foams into my ears, crossed my arms over my chest, closed my eyes, and took a nice deep breath. 

"Bring it on, Donna," I said. (Well, I didn't say that actually because Donna wasn't her name, but you get the drift. I was a badass.)

Donna left the room, closing the door to the room with a nice hearty bang. I peeked out of my eyes as the panel began moving into the cylinder and discovered that it wasn't all that closed in as I had heard. I could see the opening and I had plenty of room to maneuver if I felt so inclined. I settled back and relaxed on my pillow, closing my eyes again. Donna's voice came out of nowhere startling me.

"Okay, here comes some sounds."

First came a knocking. I pictured the grim reaper knocking on the top of the MRI machine and then thought maybe that wasn't somewhere I should be going mentally. I turned the channel of my brain and then came a tut, tut, tut noise that sounded like every major appliance in my house before it breaks. Then came some grunting and a louder knocking and a steady low hum. Here are the thoughts that went through my head as these noises came and went, as the panel I was on moved back and forth, and as Donna gave me mysterious updates.

• Well, seriously, those foam pegs are pretty helpful. Who knew? I mean, they obviously don't keep water out of your ears, but they seem to be keeping the noise level down enough for my exceptional hearing to tolerate it.
• Good thing I took some Advil before I got in this thing. If I thought I had a headache then, imagine what my head would be like now. Wait. I wonder if I was allowed to take Advil. What did they tell me when they scheduled my appointment? I don't remember? Think, Cara, think. Were you allowed to eat? Drink? Pop pills? Oh, please. Settle down. They didn't even tell you not to wear jewelry or metal. If you hadn't of read that yourself in your perusing of the Internet, you would have come in all decked out in your gold. Which is annoying that they didn't tell me that. Now I wore my wedding ring and had to hide that in my wallet which is all inside that lousy locker in that room. What if someone steals it? No, it should be safe. No one can probably find the place.
• Why did I put my arms over my chest? I wonder if everyone does that in these machines? Can we put our arms at our sides? What would happen if I moved my arms now? Actually, I'm quite comfortable with my arms like this which I remember from some college class I took says that I'm not open to meeting new people. Is that why they pose dead people like that? Why do they make dead people in coffins clasp their hands like that? I should look that up later. It looks stupid now that I think about it. No one sleeps like this. Hmmm...actually my dad slept like that when he was napping on the couch. Or he had his arm over his head. I wonder if you could pose a dead person like that in a coffin. Why am I thinking of coffins and dead people? This machine isn't even coffin like.
• It's like I'm conducting a symphony. First comes the knocking. Now I point to the next section with my baton and the next noise sounds. And I move on and you, start your knocking. And the humming joins in. Ah, a symphony. Oh, please, when was the last time you were at a symphony? Hmmmm...I'd have to think about that. Probably in grade school when we all were bused to the Philharmonic. God, remember that? It was so boring. I wonder why I didn't take my girls to a symphony. I should have done that. I've probably stalled their creativity by not doing that. It's just like the whole tomato thing when Tom accused me to not feeding the kids tomatoes and causing them to hate them. Which makes no sense. How can you hate something if you haven't tried it? Madison likes ketchup. That has tomatoes in it. I wonder why I don't like tomatoes? Has something to do with texture, I think.
• Am I allowed to swallow? I want to laugh at the whole symphony thing. Can Donna see that I want to smile? She's probably wondering what I'm smiling about. I mean, what is there to smile about while you are lying here with that noise? I'm swallowing. She hasn't said anything about it. Jeez, she didn't give me any advice actually. I wonder if she can see anything about my back. I know if I ask her she will give me that whole oh-the-radiologist-will-read-that-I-couldn't-begin-to-speculate nonsense they all have to spout. Pfft. This is why I didn't become a technician. I would be offering up my opinions left and right. I would have been fired long ago. Sigh.
• How in the world did my mom fall asleep in here? I suppose if I were tired I might. Nah. I wouldn't fall asleep. My brain wouldn't let me. Please god, don't let this turn out to be anything serious. I need to lose weight. That's the bottom line. I know that will be a huge part of this diagnosis. Why can I not jump on that bandwagon? Maybe I'm depressed. I don't feel depressed. I feel tired. But not enough to fall asleep in here. Ten minutes she said. Who can fall asleep that fast? Oh, well, Tom could. That's so annoying.

And then suddenly I heard the door to the room open and Donna said something. I didn't catch it. She moved my panel and I opened my eyes as I slid out of the cylinder. 

"What?" I asked as I took out the foam pegs.

"I thought you said you had exceptional hearing?" Donna smart assed me.

"I did," I said, "before I went into that machine."

She led me back to the locker room where I changed out of my clothes and headed home. I did not steal the scrubs, but I thought about it. But I had some just like them at home. I did not ask Donna anything about what she saw while filming me. We parted ways discussing menopause. A few hours later my doctor's nurse called to tell me I had a "moderate extruded disc in L5 that was pinching the S1 nerve". Next up is a neurosurgeon visit. Most likely I'm not a candidate for surgery, but perhaps some exercises, physical therapy, and some injections might help. No mention of weight loss. I found that myself when Googling all of that after I hung up with the nurse.

Check MRI off my bucket list. Piece of cake. I'm still a warrior.

NFL Monday morning recap - Week 2

Issues - I need to be the NFL commissioner. Who wants to vote me in?I'll visit every locker room and lay down the Cara rules. Then maybe we can play football and the pregame shows can discuss football and the law enforcement officials can deal with the law. The Vikings and the Panthers aren't fooling anybody with their suspensions of Adrian Peterson and Greg Hardy right out of the gate, and the 49ers apparently haven't been paying attention with their allowing an abuser to continue playing.The NFL has not had a great start to their opening. The fact that they've had other issues besides football to talk about each week for the past three years ought to be waking everyone up. Cara for commissioner!

RGIII - Before he went down, I was writing how I think the Redskins screwed up by not letting Griffin scramble. They want him to stay in the pocket so he doesn't get hurt like he did two seasons ago, but telling him he can't run hasn't worked well either as we saw last year. Oops. He scrambled to avoid a sack, leaped in the air to avoid a hit, threw a completed pass, and came down out of bounds grimacing without anyone even touching him. A dislocated ankle came the word from the locker room which sent everyone online as that is a new one in the NFL. 

Replacement - Good thing Kirk Cousins has had some experience in the NFL at quarterback. RGIII who?

Washington defense - Washington's defense didn't horse around after their main man went down. They sacked the Jaguars' Chad Henne nine times. That's picking up the pieces.

Favorite play - On a punt by the Bills the ball bounced off of Dolphins' Jarvis Landry's face mask and tumbled to the ground while Landry stood with his arms wide up in the air. The Bills recovered, but failed to convert their good fortune into a score. Deflated me somewhat, but it was still funny.

Buffalo - Well, I can say that I've seen them play now as this is the game that was televised locally.Wow. The crowd was fired up. The players were fired up. The coaches were fired up.It was fun to watch them kick the Dolphins around the field. 

Jim Kelly - He was inducted into the Ring of Honor before the Bills game. He looked great. He announced he was cancer free. God bless him.I hope he has a lot of years that way. 

NFL network game day - Love it! Insightful (at times) it is always moving as teams score and viewers get to stay informed about every game live. And this was a great week for the program as scores traded off quickly. The three announcers could barely finish talking about one team scoring when the other side came back with its own score. 

Nonsense - Just before the lightning delayed Tampa's game, Buc's Leonard Johnson picked up what he thought might be a fumble, ran down the field, and then just to be a showboat, he somersaulted into the end zone with no defender near him. Really? Was this guy not aware of how many teammates were in the locker room hurt?

Seattle - Oops. Might have gotten a bit cocky with all those Super Bowl plums dancing in their heads. Phillip Rivers, on the other hand, he came to play football, along with the rest of the Chargers who held the ball over 42 minutes with zero turnovers Yep, that will do it. 

Rex Ryan - Calls a timeout at the same time that Geno Smith is throwing a monster tying touchdown, and then tries to pretend he didn't. He too didn't learn anything from that Ray Rice video. Psst...Ryan...those cameras?...they are everywhere..

Tampa - So close and yet, right where they always are; ahead until the end. Heartbreaking. They lost their main defensive player and still played some great defense. They had their normal amount of penalties and it still resulted in less yardage than their opponent. Yet, in the end? 0-2. 

Ending - Tampa might have had a chance as the clock was running down, but a Tampa player went down faking injured with .08 seconds left and guess what? No time outs means ten seconds off the clock and ten minus eight means game over. Bucs lose. Again.