Thursday, March 10, 2011

3 questions I'm pondering while suit shopping

  1. Why don't the designers of cheaper two piece bathing suits (not bikinis) make the tops longer?  I have now spent three days of humiliating standing before three way mirrors in bad lighting trying on suits.  I have sucked in the stomach and stood up straight while holding my breath and looked decent in some suits.  I have slouched and let the boobs sag and the fat roll and looked god awful in most suits.  I have discovered that the best suits for me are ones with a higher neckline so that my what appear as enormous  ta tas aren't splayed out for the sun to burn to a crisp.  I have found that the bottom half should be a skorty type of pant to hide the thighs.  I have gone up one size or two sizes in tops just to hide my middle section, yet the tops all stop just below the belly button.  Don't designers realize that once a person gets into the water the top will ride up exposing my lily white dough rolls to the entire pool?  So far I am suit-less. 
  2. Why are suits a fortune?  I know the answer to this, yet it really gets to me.  Women are screwed when it comes to bathing suits and bras.  Shops know we have to have these items and so they gouge us.  $40 for a top and $40 for the bottoms? Come on people I live in Florida where we wear these things year round. I need more then one suit, but at $80 a pop ON SALE I can't afford it. Hell, what am I complaining about? I can't even find a suit!
  3. Why don't I have a personal assistant?  I shopped two days with friends.  The first day my friend trailed along pointing out suits she thought might work for me and knocked aside old ladies who were crushing us as they yanked and grabbed for bathing suits because it was 15% off senior day.  The second shopping day Kelly accompanied me and spent over an hour running back and forth from the dressing room getting me sizes and matching up tops to bottoms.  She also studied me each time I emerged from the dressing room to stand before the three way mirror and gave me helpful advice such as, "That is a terrible suit on you.  Get back in there and take it off."

1 comment:

Susan said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who DREADS shopping for suits...it must be our age... NO designer has us in mind when they are sketching their designs! I have given up on being skinny and wearing a bikini every again... I have decided on a skort too and a long top...I will wear my tiny bikini on my back porch! :(