He never does what I expect

Me:  "Let's go people!  This thing starts at 1:00 pm."
Tom:  "I'm ready.  Don't blame me.  Come on, Madison, we are waiting on you."
Me:  "Want to take my car?  The new car?  It's so comfy and I'll drive."
Tom:  "Why?  We'll take my car."
Me:  "Why?  You never want to take my car."
Tom:  "There's nothing wrong with my car."
Me:  "Yeah, well there's nothing wrong with my car either."
Tom:  "We'll take my car since it's right there."

We wait for Madison.

Me:  "Great.  Now it's raining.  If we were taking my car we would stay dry since it's in the garage."
Tom:  "Are you afraid of getting a little wet?'
Me:  "I'm sweet like sugar, babe.  Sugar melts when it gets wet."
Tom:  "So does the wicked witch, but I'm not implying anything."

He didn't say that last part.  I thought it and expected him to say it, but he didn't.  Instead it went down like this:

Me:  "I'm sweet like sugar, babe.  Sugar melts when it gets wet."
Tom: "Yes, it does."
Me:  "What?  Nothing about the wicked witch melting?  I thought for sure that was coming out of your mouth next."
Tom:  "I was still thinking about the sugar comment."
Me:  "That would have been funny though if you had said it.  Then I could have put it on my blog."
Tom:  "Well, say your line again and then I'll turn around here (turns his back to me) and you can pull my string for me to say my correct line."
Me:  "Just go get the car Mr. Smartypants."