Thursday, November 19, 2015

You're where?

When my friend Jan's daughter began driving Jan would pull up the Find My Iphone App, plug in her daughter's username and password, and find out where her daughter was driving. She did this with her daughter's knowledge. It was the agreement they made when they bought her a car and let her drive off on her own. It was also done because her daughter had no idea where she was driving or going or coming from more than half the time. Her daughter would call her to ask for direction help and would have no idea where she was at that moment so Jan would pull up the app, see where her daughter was, and give the needed directions. Interesting.

Darcy: "What? That's an invasion of privacy."

After reading an article about phone security this summer, I realized that the author had a point when he suggested that all members of a family have each other's usernames and passwords for that very app as it could very well be a way to find a missing child. There were many helpful suggestions about why this was necessary, but the missing child one was enough for me. I made Madison give me her and her sister's information just in case especially since I thought it was a nice way to locate my off-to-college-daughter if need be.

One of the rules that I have with my other daughter, the one with the new driver's license and car, is that she needs to text me when she leaves and arrives at places so I know her plans and her schedules. This really hit home for both of us after her scary incident with a lecherous man at Dunkin Donuts before school one morning. Darcy is very good about texting me when she arrives at school each morning, but one morning I didn't hear from her. She did not respond when I texted her asking if she was at school. I started to panic and had her and her car in a ditch not far from my house bleeding and unconscious. I was working myself up to a frenzy when I remembered the app. I immediately pulled it up, typed out the needed information, and discovered that my daughter was at school. Safely. It was a huge relief.

I only used the app one other time and that was after I heard about a car wreck that was on her route to where she was traveling. I pulled up the app, typed in the information, and discovered she had arrived at her destination and all was well. Whew. I never told her about any of this because I didn't want to hear about the privacy issue again and have to argue my point of it all. I went with the what she doesn't know doesn't hurt either of us.

Last Saturday Darcy was gone all day. She had a choir practice for an upcoming event at school from 9:00 to 5:00 and in between those hours she had to leave the practice to go to work for three hours and then return to school to finish out the practice. She texted me when she arrived. She texted me when she left to go to work and when she got to work. She texted me when she arrived back at school. Her father and I were out and about together running errands when we decided to stop in at a restaurant for an early dinner. The place was a sports bar so Tom could see the Notre Dame game, something he is really into since visiting the school.

We were more than halfway done with our dinner when it occurred to me that Darcy would be expecting dinner when she got home. I mentioned this to Tom who asked me if I had heard from her recently, and I realized that I hadn't. I looked at my watch and saw that it was about time for her to depart the school. I made a comment about how she should be checking in with us and my husband told me to call her. Instead I told him all about the Find My Iphone app that I had used two times previously. For grins I suggested we use it again, and I pulled up her whereabouts.

The dot that shows where the phone is currently residing showed that she wasn't far from where I was eating dinner. Perplexed I pulled the map in closer and tried to pinpoint where the kid was and what she could be doing since the school was further done the road than where the dot was blinking. I was telling this to my husband and a part of me was horrified that my kid was off somewhere doing something without alerting me to the fact. I pride myself on my naivety that my daughter's are good kids, doing good things, and always telling me everything.

I thought perhaps I had done something wrong with the app and started over. This time when the blinking dot appeared it was almost literally on top of where I was currently sitting. I raised my eyes to my husband across the table and exclaimed that I didn't understand where she was or where she might be headed. My husband, who was facing the window, suddenly smiled and said, "She is planning on having something to eat right here in this restaurant." I turned around and sure enough there was my daughter and some choir kids getting out of her car outside the restaurant. Immediately, Tom and I felt very sneaky. We were in the back of the restaurant and decided that we would get in a position to observe her without her knowing. I planned on texting her to check to see if she would be honest. We were parents on the prowl.

Unfortunately, we raised a very observant girl because she spotted our car in the parking lot and marched into the restaurant and right over to our table just as the text hit my phone that she was grabbing a bite to eat at this very restaurant. We had a good laugh at the fact that we were both at the same place at the same time, but Tom and I had an even bigger laugh at the fact that we had known first. Because we invaded her privacy. ?

I use the "Because I'm the parent, that's why" excuse if I feel guilty. Or I plan to if I get caught.

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