Today was a Connie foot day; the day we go to see the Foot God and then head over to her grocery so she can tootle along in their motorized wheelchair. We have the routine down to a science. At the grocery we park in a handicap spot when available, and I walk into the entrance of the store and drive out in the motorized wheelchair so Connie can get into it from the car with minimal standing.
Today we went through the same standard routine, only as I sat down in the motorized chair to turn it on and drive it out to Connie, a tall gentlemen in his early fifties entered the store. He watched me climb on to the chair, gave me a sneer, and said, "That's a great way to lose weight!" Then as I sat there with my mouth open he got a basket and stalked through the second set of double doors into the air-conditioned store.
Now usually these kinds of incidents happen to my friend Kelly not to me. I was flabbergasted and then pissed. Pissed enough to chase him down in the motorized chair and run him over....IN MY HEAD.
"Listen Asshole," I said loudly as I chased him through the bakery department nipping his rear with the basket that sits in the front of the chair. "My weight is of no concern to you, and certainly none of your bleeping business, but I get plenty of exercise carrying my mother's wheelchair up and down 15 stairs and in and out of her car every week. Not to mention all the exercise I get pushing her around in it up and down hills, around curves, and in and out of doctor's offices that aren't really handicap accessible. Before you go spouting out unwanted advice to people maybe you should realize there is more to the story and do us all a favor and keep your damn mouth shut!". Then I smartly turn the chair around and mo-dock it out of the store at its usual speed of three miles an hour.
But this was all said in MY HEAD and what I really said out loud was, "It is if you can't walk." Which of course made no sense, and he didn't hear anyway. Connie and I looked for him so that we could give him a piece of our minds, but she was too interested in the produce and so by the time I spotted him again he was already at the checkout and we were still in frozen foods.
It annoyed me for most of the day, but Connie bought me two bags of miniature Butterfingers (on sale!), I took a two hour nap, and I recovered nicely. Can't keep this fat girl down!
1 comment:
funny funny funny. I have to admit that when I worked at Albertsons and I would see some young apparently healthy enough person get on the motorized shopping cart, i would think, IN MY MIND, get off that damn cart! You can walk around! What happens if someone who really needs it comes in? but I didn't say anything out loud, not out of sensibility but out of fear of confrontation. I never said anything to them unless it was a some 15 year old kid and I found him racing the aisles on the carts with his friends. then I went all ninja on his ass...and calmly asked him to put the cart up. if what happened to you happened to me, Cara, I think it would have taken more than candy and a nap for me to recover. You are made of heartier stock!
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