Connie Foot Photo #34

Neighbor:  Hey,  you're going to see the Foot God today right?  Could you tell him that my foot has a hole in it now."

Me:  "What?  Let me see it so I can report what it looks like."

My neighbor had melanoma removed from the side of his heel three years ago.  A wart grew there not long after it had healed.  He sees the Foot God for laser treatments.  His foot is as nasty as Connie's once was, but it too is shrinking.  I wasn't so sure it looked so great now.

Me:  "I'll tell him."

Kelly:  "Could you tell the Foot God I think I have a bunion growing on the side of my foot?  I mean, since you're going."

Me:  "You want me to tell the Foot God, who has never seen your foot, that you might have a bunion growing there?"

Kelly: (laughing) "Well, yes."

Me:  "Okay, I'll tell him."

Nothing new on Connie's wound.  Healing nicely.  Gap closing.  Still have to wait for more grafts as he isn't too keen on opening another wound on Connie's thigh to use her own skin to close the hole.  Carry on as normal until one becomes available.

Me:  "Okay, well I have other things to discuss with you."

Foot God:  "What's that?"

Me:  "My friend Kelly wants you to know that she has a bunion, well she thinks it might be a bunion, growing on the side of her foot.  She just thought you would want to know that I guess."

Foot God:  "Good for her."

Me:  "And Wart Guy (that is what the office refers to my neighbor by) stopped me this morning and wanted me to tell you he has a hole in his foot now ever since his last laser treatment."

Foot God:  "A hole?"

Me:  "Yes, and I assessed it, without being in my scrubs I might add, and it is, well, not good.  His scab came off with his sock that night and it looks oozy."

Foot God:  "He needs to see me."

Me:  "That's what I told him."

Foot God:  "Tell him to get his ass in here tomorrow to see me."

Me:  "I will quote you on that."

Foot God:  "Anything else?"

Me:  "Nope, that's it.  I think after this is all over with..."

Connie:  "Will it ever be over?"

Me:  "...when this is all over with I think I will come here and work for you."

Foot God:  "I can't wait."

(At least that's what I heard him say...)