Auto Repair the Female Way

Several months ago Kelly's car, which has more miles on it than my 118,000 miles on my van, wouldn't start outside her apartment. She was heading to work and it just wouldn't turn over. She called me for my expertise in car repair, and I told her I would be right over. This is not the first time I have received a call regarding the Purple Tracker. The last timeit was for a flat tire.

I have absolutely no idea how to change a flat tire because I had a father who took care of my car for me. When I moved to Florida and was on my own, I handled car repairs over the phone with my father or waited until he'd visit. Then I got married. That is one of the top 3 reasons why I got married...I firmly believe men should handle car repairs.

Since Kelly hasn't been successful in the men department, she has me. I try to come to her rescue with my vast knowledge having watched Russ, Tom, and the Internet.

That time, I showed up to change the tire in jeans and my favorite black, silky shirt, with the rhinestone-covered neckline. Kelly was not aware that to repair cars one should look the part. She was wearing sweats and a holey shirt.

We stood beside the car and stared at the flat tire. It was totally squished. We deduced it was flat. We hooked up my battery operated pump to the tire, blew it up to code, or spec, or whatever it says on the sticker inside the car door which I learned from my father. Then we stood and stared at it some more. It looked good. We jumped in the car and drove once around the parking lot. Then we got out and stared at it some more, and then just to be safe, we drove around the apartment complex once more, looked at it again, and then went to Starbucks for some coffee. We took my van for that trip, but the tire has remained blown up since.

So, of course, when there was more car trouble Kelly called me. I recalled some Russ knowledge and asked her some important questions:

Me: "When you turn the key does the engine make a clicking sound? Because if it does that is the starter."

Kelly: "It does nothing. I think the battery is dead."

Tom had already left for work so I turned to the Internet and Googled, How To Jump-Start A Car, printed the information from a site, tossed on my black rhinestone shirt, and headed over to Kelly's in the drizzling rain.

This is what I read to Kelly once we were assembled next to the dead car:

1. Wear a pair of splash-proof, polycarbonate goggles with the designation Z 87 on the frame. This certifies that your goggles are meant for activities such as automotive repair.
2. Batteries contain sulfuric acid, which gives off flammable and explosive gas when a battery is charged or jump-started. Never smoke or operate anything that may cause a spark.
3. Be careful and make sure to follow the directions in order so the battery doesn't EXPLODE.
4. Prevent Blindness America offers a battery safety sticker that lists the correct steps to take when jump-starting a dead battery.

We did the following:

1. Put on our reading glasses purchased at the Dollar Tree. Nothing designated on the frame, but there had once been a sticker on the glass designating the strength that we'd long since removed.
2. We did not smoke and we made the neighbors turn off all electronic devices included stoves, radios, etc.
3. We read the directions over and over so that we knew them by heart.
4. We concluded we didn't need #4 because we had the Internet directions.
5. We called Tom for advice.

Tom's advice was long and complicated and involved getting help. My husband is not a spur of the moment kind of guy when it comes to trouble. He likes to be able to have time, preferably several days, to mull over the information, form a solution, and execute later.

While he hemmed and hawed in my ear, Kelly decided that I should hear what happened when she turned the key having remembered my earlier question. She got inside her car while the details.

Kelly: "I came down at 6:30 AM in the drizzle. I put in the key and heard this..."

At which point, she turned the key.

The engine fired right up.

She was so shocked that she kept turning the key until she realized that the car was working. We stood and listened to the engine running. I held out the cell phone so Tom could hear. We all agreed that the battery was working, but just to be sure Kelly turned off the car and tried it again. It worked like a charm.

Tom had us drive the car up the road to Auto Zone where a nice gentleman lugged out a battery checker machine, cleaned off her terminals, checked the batter, declared it fine, and sent us on our way with some cleaner to finish cleaning off the terminals.

We then drove to Chili's and had some lunch. I'm thinking of getting automotive repair business cards printed.

When the husband is away.....

Last week my husband went out of town to a conference in Nashville, TN. He did invite me to come along, but since my last visit to Nashville didn't turn out so well (see 2007 blog Summer Vacation -The Storm) I declined. Instead, I opted to stay home and party.

He left on a Sunday and so I threw a Steelers football party. I say that loosely because I was the only one interested in the game. It was really just an excuse for Kelly and Jyoti (sans husband) to come over and hang out.

There was tons of food and drink. The children played in the back room and left us to watch the game. Kelly and I worked on our Football For Women radio show that we're thinking of creating for satellite radio. Jyoti played along by calling in with questions and comments throughout the game. We were having a jolly ole time and then my team got beat by the Indianapolis Colts. While this was very distressing I wasn't crying in my beer. Mainly because, well, there was beer. And Peyton Manning. Who doesn't love PM?

So, Kelly, Jyoti and I were sitting around drinking and eating and making comments on the late hour yet making no moves to shut up shop when my youngest appeared, her lower lip puckered out in a pout, tears trickling down her cheeks, and a horrible, horrible expression in her eyes.

Me: (shouting because I have my mom's gene of overreacting to emergencies that involve my c children): "What?"

Darcy: (whimpering) "Mommy..."

Me: (still shouting) "What? What? What has happened?"

Darcy: "Well, we were sitting around playing with the laptop and Sarina found this water balloon and it popped and..."

Me: (incapable of using other words, apparently) "What?"

Darcy (beginning to cry) "I got water on my laptop and now it isn't working."

Needless to say, chaos erupted with that one sentence. Remember that Connie gene?

I jumped up as if I had been shot. I ranted and raved. I took the laptop and briefly dried it with a hairdryer until somewhere through all my yelling and screaming of "why? why?" a thought popped into my head that maybe blowing hot air into an electronic piece of equipment wasn't too smart.

I scurried from one room to another carrying the laptop that my husband insisted on purchasing for his 9-year-old daughter for her birthday. Which I brought up more than once during my ranting. Kelly and Jyoti sat quietly on the couch watching me until I finally ended up on another computer (remember that is my husband's job so we are full of "electronic-ness" in this house) and I Googled spilled water on a laptop. And do you know what? Up popped several sites where we found several suggestions on how to deal with this problem.

Bottom line, we were told to remove the battery, to dry off the water, and to let it sit for 24 hours, and VOILA! In 9 out of 10 cases when firing that bad boy back up after that 24 hour period one will have a functioning laptop once again. Yeah right. Like I believed that crap. Hello? I would be that 10th person.

Husband (at least how I pictured him saying this): "And what were you doing when this happened?"

Me: "Watching football!" (thinking): "Uh, drinking liquor and laughing it up with the girls in another room?"

Jyoti got on her cell and phoned her computer knowledgeable cousin who told us to remove the battery, dry off the water, and let it sit for 24 hours. He had spilled an entire glass of water on his and it worked just fine. He was very calm and very nonchalant so we did what he and the Internet told us to do. Kelly removed the battery and I dried off whatever water we shook out of the laptop. Then we placed it on a towel and stared at it. Nothing happened so there so we began recreating the scene of the crime.

The girls were making a video with the laptop and their Barbies. They were on the floor by the Barbie drawer. At some point, Sarina, found a water balloon inside a Barbie bathtub. Not sure why there was a full water balloon in the house, but at least it was in a bathtub, right?

Sarina handed the balloon to Darcy and when Darcy took the balloon it burst. Out came the water which went on to the laptop. Not all of the water, we were told, because Darcy shut her hand around the break in the balloon. She passed the broken balloon to her sister who ran with it to deposit the evidence into the bathroom sink. Then the girls turned the laptop upside down and dumped out the water. Madison shut off the laptop, dried the water off, and tried to turn it back on. No, go.

Kelly, Madison, and I tried to deduce how much water could have come out of one balloon and whether or not the entire amount landed on the laptop. We decided it didn't matter.

What we did conclude was that this was not something we needed to bother the husband with.

Madison wasn't so sure this was a good idea. Darcy thought it was a fine idea. So did I. What could the poor man do? He was miles away having a good time. No since in ruining that. I made sure we were all on board with leaving Daddy the hell out of the equation.

The party ended and when Tom made his nightly phone call home, we listened to him talk about Nashville and I discussed the football game.

Forty-eight hours later, we decided to double the time to be safe, I fired up the bad boy and.....VOILA! The laptop started right us just as if nothing had ever happened.

Is that amazing or what? I love the internet. It's my new husband.

Happy Birthday to me

This is part of an email I received, and I thought it appropriate since today is my birthday. The email was titled Girlie Wisdom:

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills. She has 14 kids but doesn't really care.


2. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.


3. The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.


4. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.


5. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.


6. I gave up jogging when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my pants.


7. Ever notice how you hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes?


8. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say, "You know sometimes I forget to eat!" Now I've forgotten my address, my keys, my mother's maiden name, but I can honestly say I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget that!


9. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.


10. I read an article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are you kidding me? That's my idea of a perfect day!

Having my lunch....and pie too!

Soccer season has started here in Florida and we have 3 practices a week and one game (sometimes two for Darcy) on Saturday. Since this schedule started dinner has usually been from a drive-thru window because my children do not get home from school until 4:00 PM and we leave for soccer at 5:30 PM. They are not hungry for dinner after school and they don't like to eat before practice.

Practice ends as late as 7:30 PM and by the time we are home and I've cooked something to eat it is 9:00 PM. It is a miserable schedule and seriously my body is craving some vegetables. But the point I'm trying to make by all this is that I haven't really purchased much from the grocery store beyond the necessities. Thus I have not had much food to chose from for myself at lunchtime and I've tended to skip that meal. Which in turn causes a headache and some nasty grouchiness.

This week I decided enough. I would make sure to eat properly for breakfast and lunch and also try to have something for dinner in the crockpot for after soccer. That lasted one day. I got sick. Today, feeling better, I ventured out to get some things accomplished. Unfortunately, I forgot to eat lunch, and by 2:00 I was ready to knock someone down and start gnawing on his arm. I was at the bank (which could not cash my check because the computers were down) when I looked across the street and spied our new grocery store.

A chain of stores was recently bought out by Publix, our number one grocer here in Florida, and they have feverishly been refurbishing the old stores. This grocery is right down the street from my house (and down the street from two other Publix stores, I might add) and I had gone there on Sunday only to find it hadn't opened yet, but a big sign in the window announced "5 days til the Grand Opening".

Now from my position at the bank, I realize that today was the Grand Opening. I decided that I would go there, check it out, and get myself a deli sandwich.

I debated on getting a cart, decided I needed one to rest my weak body, and I headed to the deli. As I rounded the corner, I stopped. There, spread out in front of me, was a smorgasbord of deliciousness.  Publix workers stood at display set-ups handing out food. I began at the beginning where I received a glass of 7 up. From there, I scored a cup of blazing buffalo chicken salad, and a fruit salad that included grapes, pineapple, and marshmallows with a pretzel sticks stuck through their middle.

As I stood debating on whether or not to join the line at the deli, a man approached me with a tray of various cheeses. I sampled a few. Then I decided to walk the rest of the store to get the layout of the land. I'd let the deli line recede and I'd return later for my sandwich.

I walked through the produce and into the meat section. There, more employees offered me samples pork sausage and shrimp. Farther down, I was given a plate of 3 different kinds of Publix potato chips which went well with the black Angus cheeseburger bites I sampled next, followed by a few glasses of white and red wines at another display further on.

I enjoyed the chips so much that I pushed my cart down the chip aisle where I assisted a Publix manager on the aesthetics of his salsa display. He asked for my help and we strolled up and down the chip aisle while he questioned and I passed along my wisdom.

Finishing with him, I encountered another display where I helped myself to some Breyers peppermint ice cream in a tiny little ice cream cone. The next aisle I got a tiny wiener in some BBQ sauce and a cup of Publix's key lime pie. By this time, I had come full circle and was back at the front of the store where I decided that I was way too full for a deli sandwich. I parked my empty cart and headed back to my car where I mapped out my plan for the next coming week.

I'll be visiting all the new Publix Grand Openings that are cropping up one by one. Then I'll hit the annual Holiday feast at my own Publix which always comes with food, wine, and entertainment to boot. I looked it up. It starts at 4:00 PM on a night we don't have soccer.

Guess what's for dinner, kids?

Out of the Mouths of My Babes

Me: "I can't believe it!  Gabrielle dropped out of the talent show. She just sent me an email! The night before the show starts!"

Maddy: "Why?"

Me: "She doesn't think she is good enough. I don't know why. She was fine. I think I'll just tell her to lip-synch it."

Maddy: "That's good. She should just lip-synch the song."

Darcy: "Why are you saying synching?"

Me: "Because that is what I'm talking about....lip-synching."

Darcy: "It isn't synching. It's  lip-singing."

A wonderful ending to the week

Yesterday, we hopped into the car and made the two-hour drive to meet little Henry. He was asleep in the beginning, but after nursing and two diaper changes he awoke and was very alert. He had a fascination with Darcy, spending time studying her as she held him. We brought tons of cheer into the hospital and to both mother and baby. The girls cannot wait until we head over in a few weeks to spend some time with the family. I think these two are born mothers or perhaps I should say,
babysitters?

Sharon was her usual perky, entertaining self. No exhaustion in sight. I took multiple how-to videos staring Sharon. She volunteered all sorts of helpful advice such as breastfeeding and swaddling. I should post those some day. Maybe when Henry graduates high school or college. 

It is always so refreshing to be a part of a new life. Holding little Henry and watching him sleep makes everything on the outside seem so small. I have been waiting for some test results to come back and it has been a tad stressful this week. On Friday afternoon the results came back normal and healthy. Saturday Henry was born. Sunday I was holding this new little bundle of life and I just cried. New life for all of us.

Welcome Henry James

We've been waiting for this thing to pop. Tonight it did! My friend Sharon went to the hospital and spit this kid out in record time due to her observance of me during my second labor. We couldn't be more excited for the whole family!

Henry James

Congratulations to Mommy Sharon, Daddy John and Big brother Ben!

Happy Halloween 2008

IMG_3886

Originally uploaded by tcboos

Our annual Halloween photo against the red wall. We started trick or treating in my neighborhood in 2003. The first red wall picture was posted in 2004. Each year our group expands. We walk the hood with the kids, get some exercise, and rake in tons of sugar.

First photo from 2004 against the red wall. My how they've grown.

Keepsake Box - Christmas 1992

In 1996 we decided to honor Christmas by having everyone write down our "memorable Christmas at Connie's". This was mine. It was in my Keepsake Box.

I use to have a better memory. As a child, I was excellent at memorizing the state capitals and the order of the presidents of the United States, but somewhere, and unfortunately, I can't remember exactly when my mind stopped retaining a lot of things. Years seem to just blend and I can't recall what year such in such happened, or what year so and so got married. Perhaps it is that the years are flying by at a much quicker pace now that I'm older and I just don't have the time to shove vital information into my long term memory to hold as a treasure ---or to use when I'm assigned a task such as Christmas at Connie's.

The point I'm trying to make of all of this is I don't really remember the first time we began getting together at the holidays. To me, it's as if it has always been this way. Ask me what Christmas means and I'll answer, "Family." I believe that the holidays are a time for the family to gather to reflect on the past year, to celebrate, to mourn, to laugh and to cry over that year. Who better to do that with than the people you can be yourself with---family.

My family is my mother and father, my brother, my cousin, my aunt, my great aunt, and now it includes a husband, a child, a sister-in-law, a nephew, and Jay. Looking back I know there was a time we weren't together, but I consider those times as Christmas in my childhood. As an adult Christmas was spent with my family.

We sort of fell into a pattern of tradition at those Christmas at Connie's. We talked into the wee hours of the morning. We completed a big puzzle. We rented bad movies and made fun of the plots, the actors, the scenery, and we searched in vain for Joanne Woodward. We picked one movie to attend at the theater. We enjoyed a wonderful Christmas dinner that Connie slaved over. We read quietly and napped when we wanted. Connie bitched. Russ growled. Maya whined. Rusty disappeared. Aunt Helen dictated, and Aunt Marilyn took everything in for future counseling sessions or plots or something.

I can't remember my exact role. But it was all part of our Christmas--part of our release of feelings from the past year, and for some even farther back in years. And all of this was our normal, traditional Christmas at Connie's.

Christmas 1992 didn't start out normal. I was in Tom's apartment. He was taking me to the airport the next day. We were trying to get through the day without thinking of our separation. Connie called and delivered the news. Rusty and Susan's unborn baby might have a spinal defect. It had shown up in a blood test. Connie was stricken. She had gotten out her Merk Manual and read everything she could. The baby wouldn't live long outside the womb. Susan said she would not terminate the pregnancy. They were to go to Indianapolis on Christmas Eve day for a specialized ultrasound at IU Medical Center. Rusty and Susan were devastated.

The mood at 8200 Pine Creek was solemn when I arrived. Aunt Marilyn and Maya were already there. The day was spent talking in hushed tones, everyone thinking of Rusty and Susan and the baby. The subject had been discussed, but it wasn't spoken of much after that. It was as if we just couldn't bear to think or speak of it. Tomorrow would tell us what was to be done.

When the call came in Christmas Eve, I was sitting on the couch in the living room. I vaguely remember someone there with me--Aunt Helen at the puzzle table or Maya waiting with me--it is as fuzzy as my memory tends to be, or perhaps the scene was just that surreal. We had just all been going through the motions waiting for the phone to ring. Russ was in his office. Connie was wandering the house doing laundry or something. Marilyn was downstairs reading.

The phone rang and we sort of froze while Connie in the bedroom (or was it the kitchen) and Russ in his office picked it up. Listening to the solemn voice of my mother on our end, I asked the unknown for a miracle. To take away this awful pain. To not let this happen at Christmas. And even at that moment, I realized, there probably wasn't a better time than Christmas where we were surrounded by the people who could help my brother and his wife and us through what could potentially be a devastating life experience.

My mother: "Oh, Rusty, I'm so happy for you."

Then the shouting began. "Everything is fine. The baby is okay. And it's a boy!" My mother was still shouting even when the call ended. My father came up the stairs then and my mother met him at the top. They embraced tightly and I watched my father cry, only the second time I had ever witnessed this. I can remember his words, "You don't know how hard this has been for me." And they clung to each other, something rare in our family, until Dad broke away and gruffly said, "Better get back to the office." And he turned around and disappeared back down the stairs.

Maya was beside me then on the couch patting me. My mother hugged me. We heard about the exam. Everything looked good. The baby was developing just right. It was a boy, no mistaking that organ on the ultrasound. Rusty boasted that the baby took after the old man. We laughed, and cried, and then got down to celebrating not only the news, but Christmas.

That night Rusty stayed with us. He and I slept in his bunk beds in his old room just as we had done as kids. I was on the top bunk. He was on the bottom. He talked to me about his feelings of fatherhood, of marriage, of the test, of his life. This too was so rare, and I clung to the conversation, the sharing of emotions.

As as we talked and listened to Marilyn and Maya whispering in the next room, it began to snow. Thick, heavy flakes falling from the sky. I don't know how we knew it, but we did, and we climbed out of bed and stood together at the window watching it come down. And we realized it was Christmas.

It's the one Christmas that will forever linger in my mind.

Fall Weather is Approaching

After reading my SIL's Blog,  I stole her decorating ideas, added my scarecrows and lighted pumpkins (which have never been lit) and thus decorated my front yard.

Saturday night we had a little cold spell run through and Sunday was only a high of 80 with the evenings in the high 60's. Beautiful. Perhaps we will really have a fall!

Hanging Photos

I got rid of my dining room because it had become Tom's office. I made it into a study, which is really Tom's office. I had a vision of what I wanted and one of the things in my vision was covering the walls with my kids' artwork and pictures. Today I worked on making this a reality.

I have had the main wall mapped out for some time. The other day I bought the frames, and with my friend, SueG's help we began the task of hanging the photos. I am not a bad hanger when it comes to pictures. When I was a youngster I hung first pictures of Lance Kerwin, then Shaun Cassidy and Parker Stevenson and finally Tom Selleck on my bedroom walls. But these were pictures ripped out of Tiger Beat Magazine and not framed. (Well, except for that one Tom Selleck framed photo) I eventually moved on to framed photos.

One day I hung a collage of frames and pictures on one of my walls. My work ethic went like this: I would hold up the picture, stand at arm's length to eye it, mark it with a pencil, hammer in the nail, hang the picture. Then I moved on to the next one. Just as I was finishing this job my father happen by the doorway to my room. He was appalled at my technique. He wanted to enlighten me by explaining how I should be measuring from the ceiling down and how I should be measuring in between each frame so the distance would be the same. I pointed out that everything looked even. He went outside and brought back a yardstick and proceeded to measure what I had hung. It was almost perfect. He never questioned me again. Thus I was born to hang pictures.

Today was a tad harder than those days in my bedroom. First of all SueG and I argued about how high to start. She wanted to start almost to the ceiling and I pointed out that all the experts state that frames should be at eye level. I won't repeat what she replied as SueG can be a bit colorful, but I did win the argument. We worked out the following arrangement: SueG did all the math and measurements. I decided whether things were crooked or even and did all the hammering and hanging. It took forever.

By the time we had to leave we still had 7 frames left to hang. Later that evening I attempted to finish the job. I got 2 frames done to complete the second row and then realized that the third row was not going to work. Not only would it be too low on the wall, but three of the frames would not be spaced right because we had measured incorrectly. I decided the job looked fine the way it was and declared it complete (after making several frantic calls to people I knew).

The other wall was done by my husband. It took way longer and he was a tad grouchy at the end. But I'm happy with the results. Once I get real photos in them I will post close-ups.

The Simple Joys

My peppermint mocha creamer is back for the season! This is the best flavor in Coffee Mate's creamer and unfortunately, it only comes around at Christmas time. This year they have opted for an early start, and I for one am thrilled. It goes great with hot or iced coffee. Right now with our 86 degree weather in Florida iced is the only way to go!

Out of the mouth of my babes

Tom: "I'm going to get the endless shrimp dinner."

Me: "I love shrimp, but I'm not supposed to eat it.

Tom: "Why?"

Me: "It's very high in cholesterol."

Darcy: "If you eat Cheerios you can lower your cholesterol 4% in four to six weeks!"

I can see!

I have never had enough lighting in my living room. There is no overhead lighting and we've had to rely on lamps for years. My friend SueG's husband is an architect and she offered him as a consultant as to how to make our living room more seeable.

He suggested canned lighting and thus we began looking for electricians who could put in the lighting arrangement that our consultant suggested. The first estimate was high, but the guy giving it was hot. I voted for him.

The second guy never called back.

The third electrician promised to call back, didn't, and when Tom called him again he promised to call or come by. He did neither. He finally called again a few weeks later. He came in with a bid that was half of the first one and we hired him a few hours later. He had done work for my Steelers buddy Scott so we knew he did decent work.

This week the construction began. Our hired gun was supposed to be at the house to begin work at ten o'clock. He actually arrived at 2:30 PM without his promised sidekick. He had many excuses, worked until 6:30 PM and promised to return the next morning.

He arrived the next day, this time only 45 minutes later, with his sidekick, Jorge. They worked all day and they made me work all day. I ran to and from Home Depot picking up supplies and fixtures and a ceiling fan, etc. until I collapsed on the floor of said store in tears around 7:00 PM.

The work was finally completed that evening. They left and I cleaned (on my hands and knees) the horrible construction mess they left me until midnight.

Tom disliked several things including a wall mount and the canned lights we had put in. He corrected the construction job the next day, taking my place of running back and forth to Home Depot.

Everything was finished by 8:00 PM Saturday evening. I now have canned lights and can see in my living room.

We rearranged the furniture and it is like I have a brand new living room. I love it! Next up is finishing the study.

Innocence

More stuff from my "Keepsake" box. Five things that ran through my mind when clicking on this picture to enlarge it.

1. I can't believe we were ever this young.
2. Check out the gun in Rusty's hand. Wouldn't be allowed in a photo booth with that today!
3. My poor buck teeth. Thank god for braces.
4. In picture #1 I see Darcy in my face. She purses her lips like that too.
5. Even back then I had the "deer caught in headlights" look.

Out of the mouth of my babes

Madison: "I emptied the dishwasher and cleaned out my lunch box."

Darcy: "I cleaned out my lunch box and the table."

Me: "What am I suppose to do then? What is my job?"

Darcy: "Love us, feed us, and give us 50 cents tomorrow for a snack."

Keepsakes

Today while construction was going on in my living room I hid out in my office and decided to clean out files. The first one that I went through was a file titled, Keepsakes. The file was full of great stuff.

1. Funeral notices - A way of remembering.


2. A Betty Crocker Easy Bake Kit Baking Book from my childhood. This is interesting to me because we were not allowed to have an Easy Bake oven as my mother thought that stupid. "We have an oven in our kitchen!" So we would buy the kit and bake the stuff in our kitchen oven.


3. My bridal registry from Burdines, a store no longer in business.


4. A Purple Pride sticker - Go Aces!


5. A crossword puzzle that I made for Kelly years ago. It was a puzzle about soap operas, and I did it by hand. It turned out so well (in my mind) that I made her send it back to me after she filled it out.


6. A Master Mix pad of paper with my father's picture at the bottom.


7. Letters from Tom when he traveled to France


8. Various cards from people telling me how wonderful I was/am to them.


9. A paper on how the word, "f**k" is the greatest word in the English Language. This was sent to my mother by our friend Karl. I wish I could print it on this blog because I'm telling you it is the funniest f**king paper.


10. An envelope of Keepsakes that my mother kept of mine and then handed over to me a few years ago. In this envelope was the following:

• Three wills that I left at various times, although there are no dates. Here is one of them: "I, Cara, leave $100 dollars to my brother, Rusty, and he better not spend it all at the bowling place. I also leave $200 for my Sugar Daddy. I also leave my nightlight to Helen and Ray. To my brother, I also leave him Cat and Teddy to take care of them. To my friend, Laura, I leave $200 dollars. To Michelle, I leave my Barbie dolls. To Robby, I leave my jumping robes. To Barry, I leave $2.00. And the rest goes to my mother."


• An envelope with hair from my first haircut in 1966. It was done by my Great Aunt Margaret and her daughter, Suzy in St. Augustine, FL. This hair now proves (to Kelly) that my hair was NOT red like my girls.


• A Lincoln-Kennedy uncirculated penny, a 1776-1976 silver dollar, and two $2.00 uncirculated bills


• A poem I wrote


• A birthday card I made for my mother that says on the front, "Happy Birthday Mom! May this birthday be the best yet, for the older you grow the sweeter you get. (hint, hint)"


• Letter to Santa Claus from 1971 that says in neat printing on big lined paper, " Dear Santa Claus. Please bring our toys to Grandpa Renaker's house. I want Timey Tell and silly putty in my stocking for Christmas. My brother wants a talking G.I. Joe and silly putty in his stocking. Love, Cara"

• A bunch of papers, newspaper articles, and writings that I must post later.

Getting my sports in order

My girls have outgrown their Steelers shirts. Darcy had mentioned that her shirt was too small one day while at our local Steelers fan shop, but I thought she wanted me to purchase more for her besides her Troy Polamalu dangling earrings. She was right; however, as her shirt is almost a cheerleading, belly-showing shirt.

Madison wore her Steelers shirt last night to soccer practice. It too is small on her. Of course, she could pass it down to Darcy (as we do in this house), but she is sentimental about things like her Steelers shirt and Darcy will want one she picks out herself.

So this morning as I was driving them to school I was wondering if the Steelers fan shop would be open this early in the morning. I was thinking that it would be fun to go there, buy the girls shirts to surprise them, and maybe pick up a little "something, something" for myself. But, alas, I knew the store was not open, and I was expected at home to wait for my construction man to appear.

I went home, did some chores, and then came into my office to clean up my desk. This, of course, leads to checking my email. There was a message from the girls' school telling me that in honor of our Tampa Rays (located in St. Petersburg for those not in the know) baseball success tomorrow will be Rays Day, and all children are allowed to forgo their uniform for Rays outfits, hats, etc.

Now I have to go out and buy Rays shirts for the girls. Which is fine as we are Rays fans, and we do attend some games during the year, but I was really wanting to purchase Steelers shirts. I can't do both.

My brain went into overload; Why was the school just now mailing out this notice? What if the Steelers fan shop had opened today at 8:30 am and I had bought those shirts? Why didn't my mother just leave that medium Rays shirt that my husband bought her (another story in itself)? Where the hell is my construction guy?

That's when I remembered that the Steelers have a bye week. I don't need Steelers shirts that fit us this week because they aren't even playing.

But the Rays are, and tomorrow is Rays Day.

Crisis averted. Go Rays!

Indiana Code

My last post (and email) reminded me of one my sister sent me years ago. I've kept it, and since I'm a Hoosier by birth I'm posting it as well.

Hoosier Code:

1. Know the state casserole. The state casserole consists of canned green beans, Campbell's cream of mushroom soup and fried onions. You can safely take this casserole to any social event and know that you will be accepted.
2. Get used to food festivals. The Indiana General Assembly, in an effort to grow bigger athletes, passed legislation years ago requiring every incorporated community to have at least one festival per year dedicated to high-fat food. It is your duty as a Hoosier to attend these festivals and at least buy an elephant ear.
3. Know the geography. Of Florida, I mean. I've run into Hoosiers who couldn't tell you where Evansville is but they know the exact distance from Fort Myers to Bonita Springs. That's because all Hoosiers go to Florida in the winter. Or plan to when they retire. We consider Florida to be the Lower Peninsula of Indiana.
4. If you can't afford to spend the winter in Florida, use the state excuse, which is that you stay here because you enjoy the change of season. You'll be lying, but that's OK. We've all done it.
5. In Indiana wear layers or die. The thing to remember about Indiana seasons is that they can occur at any time. We have spring-like days in January and wintry weekends in October. April is capable of providing a sampling of all four seasons in a single 24-hour period. For these reasons, Indiana is the Layering Capital of the World. Even layering, however, can pose danger. Golfers have been known to dress for hypothermia and end up dead of heat stroke because they couldn't strip off their layers of plaid fast enough on a changeable spring morning.
6. Don't take Indiana place names literally. East Enterprise has no counterpart to the west. South Bend is in the north, and French Lick is nothing like you might think. Also, if a town has the same name as a foreign city ... Versailles, for example (Ver-Sigh) ... you must not pronounce it that way lest you come under suspicion as a spy. (It is pronounced Ver-SALES by true Hoosiers)
7. In order to talk sports with obsessive fans in Indiana, you have to be knowledgeable on three levels -- professional, college and high school. The truly expert Indiana sports fan knows not only the name of the hotshot center at Abercrombie and Fitch High School, but also what colleges he's interested in, how much he bench-presses, who he took to the prom, and what he got on his biology quiz last week.
8. In Indiana sports consist of Basketball and NO OTHER.
9. The best way to sell something in Indiana is to attach the term "Amish" to it.
10. Meat and Potatoes, Whole Milk and canned vegetables are the staple diet of all Hoosiers.
11. When dining out Hoosiers will always gravitate toward the "All You Can Eat Buffet" style of restaurant dining. Long tables filled with giant bowels of all starchy foods (rolls, biscuits, mashed potatoes and noodles) are preferred over buffets that just serve an excellent salad bar.

Florida Code

I received this email today and had to post it for all my Floridian readers. (I thought that sounded like I had tons of readers) It is so true!

Florida Code:

1. When giving directions in Florida you should always start with the words, "take I-75 or take I-95"
2. If you're a snowbird or a non-working retiree, you absolutely can not drive between the hours of 6 am and 10 am and 4 pm and 7 pm. This is considered to be rush hour and you're not in any rush.
3. Freeways can only go north and south, not east and west.
4. I-275 will always be under construction...that's the law. There is nothing anyone can do about it!
5. A1A and ALT A1A are the same streets.
6. We measure the distance you travel in time, not miles.
7. If you miss your exit on I-75, I-4 or I-275, it's perfectly acceptable to back up.
8. Every street in Florida has both a name and a number (IE Adamo = 60th,) just for the heck of it, and for the pleasure, we get from the reaction of visitors when we give them directions.
9. Once the light turns green, only 3 cars can go through the intersection. Eight more go through on yellow, and 4 on red.
10. Flip flops, tank tops, and baggy shorts are also known as business casual.
11. English is our first and second language.
12. It is perfectly acceptable to brag about the size of your generator.
13. There is always a Walgreen's store across the street from a CVS on almost every corner.
14. It's normal to sweat when you are putting up your holiday decorations.
15. Learn how to dress in layers. It will be 95 degrees outside - inside any restaurant or business - it's 65 degrees.
16. The same neighbor who smiles at you every day will be the first one to rat you out if you are violating water restrictions.
    
    
    
    

5 Rants on last week's TV viewing

#1 - ER - (Yes, I know this was on the week before, but I just got around to watching it this week....during the day.) How depressing. Why is it that "they" have to get rid of regular cast members by killing them off? Note to the producers: NOT EVERYONE DIES IN AN ER. And I should know. I spent time in enough of them two summers ago. I didn't see anyone die there. And what? Mekhi Phifer couldn't put in one more year of ER? Just couldn't squeeze out anything else in his acting?
Yes, it was well done. Yes, I bawled like a baby. The part where Pratt started crying silently when he realized what was happening was heart-wrenching. Frank rushing ahead and opening the elevator and patting Pratt's shoulder was touching. Poor Morris having to give the ring to Bettina was just so sad. But seriously....could these poor ER doctors have some happiness in their lives? For once>

#2 - Steelers Football - Thank god we had some offense for a change! Ben was getting out of the pocket quicker and releasing the ball...into the hands of one of our own for a change. We were moving the ball in the running game with our 18th string running backs. Good to finally see some football!

Unfortunately, despite the fact that I picked the Steelers to win, my partner in the office pool (and the financial backer) went over my head and circled Jacksonville for the win. Had Jacksonville won we had a good chance of winning the whole pot.

Kelly: "You might as well just take $33 and set fire to it! That's what just happened."

Going into the bye with a win under our belt and a 4 and 1 record? Priceless!

#3 - America's Toughest Jobs (another one I'm still behind in) - Bullfighting? What ding dong came up with that job as a good one for the contestants to work? I didn't like it. But how tough was my girl Sandy? The women rock on this show and Rie did not deserve to lose in a cheap job as Bullfighting.

#4 - Sunday Football - Good to see Peyton back.
Not surprised that Chad Pennington is winning in Miami. Hello? Something to prove there, Brett Favre be damned.
Knew I should have gone with the Redskins.
Glad to see Warrick Dunn getting some recognition and some running yardage.
T.O.'s news conference after his game? Seriously? "God did this. God did that. God made him good. He owes God." Invoking the good Lord's name is supposed to make his teammates and the rest of us forget his comments from last week? I'm here to tell you right now that God has bigger things to concentrate on then the Dallas Cowboys. And besides, everyone knows that God's boy is Troy Polamalu.

#5 - Survivor - Once again I'm screaming, "Have you never seen this show before?" Crystal in her strapless dress? Michelle whining about being picked last? For the most part, I've always enjoyed something about the show in the beginning, but other than Bob this group of folks has left me wondering why.

October is Breast Awareness Month

Today I received an email that was all pink and it told me that I "was considered one of the 50 prettiest ladies with a kind, warm and loving heart". I do not know who the other 49 women are. It went on to tell me that I've been "hit", and now I have to "hit 10 pretty ladies with kind, warm and loving hearts." Then in italics, it said, "If you fail to forward this, you'll have ugliness for 10 years". Then it had the gall to babble on about pretty ladies inside and out, and it said I really should send this out to others to "brighten their day".

I don't know about the other 49 women out there on the list, but this email did nothing to "brighten my day". In fact, it pissed me off. And then I got more annoyed as I kept reading the email because it went on to say that this is a reminder that this month is Breast Awareness Month and everyone should be checked because "no one wants to lose them because they are pretty ladies with kind, warm, loving hearts."

Are you kidding me? This is how you inform people? I can't blame the person who forwarded it on to me. She, of course, doesn't want ten years of ugliness, and she was probably hoping to do others a favor in informing them. I blame the author. She couldn't have sent out a pink email with something better than a threat?

It stops here. I am not sending this on to other people. I will face the next ten years of ugliness. And what does that mean? Ugly as in beauty? A bigger nose? More blotches on my face? Bigger, more sunken grooves under my eyes? Ugly as in my surroundings? More stains on my carpet? A Florida hurricane? Ugly as in others? More drivers flipping me the bird? And when will my 10 years of ugliness start? Today? Tomorrow? How will I know? Will there be some notification?

Ladies, let this be your reminder. October is Breast Awareness Month. Please remember to get your yearly mammogram done. Don't put it off. Yearly mammograms could mean early detection, and early detection can save your life.

As for me....I've had my yearly mammogram. Now I'm stuck wearing a bag over my head for the next ten years. I did it for you. Get the word out. The right way.

Helping her father with a little brown nosing.....

I discovered this while cleaning. Tom brought home stickers promoting his boss the sheriff for the upcoming election. Apparently, Darcy and her Barbies are full supporters.

A Conversation with Kelly

Darcy is working on a paper in her Language Arts class on drugs. She has opted to write her paper on the dangers of legal drugs such as smoking and alcohol. Tonight at dinner she discussed some things with Kelly who said, "those are two subjects I know a lot about". The following are some excerpts:

# 1
Darcy: "You know, Kelly, if they took a knife and opened up your chest right now they would find ugly, black lungs inside of you."

Silence

Kelly: (sniffling) "If they took a knife and opened up your chest, Darcy, they would find you don't have a heart!"

#2
Me: "Darcy doesn't really understand the meaning of being addicted to something."

Kelly: "People who are addicted to something like drugs will do crazy things like steal to get money for their drugs. Some people even give away or sell their children for drugs."

Me: "I told her that her thumb was her addiction."

Kelly: "Would you give up your mother for your thumb?"

Darcy: "Of course I wouldn't!" (Looks over at Madison) "But I might give up her!"

#3
Kelly: "Would you rather not see your mom for 5 years or cut off your thumb?"

Darcy: "I'd cut off my thumb." (Holds up her other hand.) "Because I have another thumb!"

Seeing Things Differently???

My daughter wants glasses, but her eyes are fine. For months she has purchased dollar store reading glasses and removed the lens. Imagine her happiness when she found an entire display of accessory glasses with clear lens in the story, Icing.

I bought them and she has worked hard in school to earn them. Today was the day she finally paid off her debt! She thinks she looks like her cousin Gabby.

Breathing in some of the past

This week we had some fall weather blow into Florida. Well, fall weather by Florida standards. That is to say, we received a dip in our temperatures. Instead of 92-degree weather we got 86 degree weather with a nice breeze to go along with our sunshine.

This lasted three days and it was wonderful. I even slept with my bedroom window open. (That occurred because I put some cheap Drano cleaner down my shower drain and obnoxious killer fumes raced throughout our house causing me to have to open all the windows in the house. That is when we discovered the evening temperature had dropped a bit and a nice fall breeze was blowing. Thus we kept the bedroom one opened all night)

On the second day the weather was so delightful I decided to clean my van. It was in such dirty shape that I couldn't even see what color my vehicle was behind all the dirt and grime. I don' t think it had been washed since the beginning of summer.

After I returned from the gym on Thursday (the day after my exciting Obama day) I got out my iHome and hooked up my iPod. I got out the buckets, the soap, the rag, and the vacuum. I removed the protective carpeting we have inside and I vacuumed it, scrubbed it with carpet cleaner, hosed it down and hung it over my fence to dry. I washed all the windows inside and used Clorox wipes on all the washable surfaces. Then I vacuumed the entire car from ceiling to floor. That took over an hour, but I was still feeling so fine working hard in this crisp Florida weather.

When I had finished with the inside I took all of the belongings that shouldn't have been in my van in the first place and put them in their correct places inside the house. I had some water. I got out the hose and cleaned the outside of my car. About the time I was on my haunches scrubbing at the hubcaps I got to thinking about how tired I was and about how much I disliked cleaning cars. That got me to thinking about my neighbors in Indiana. These people really knew how to clean cars.

There were three kids in the family and once a month or so the kids were assigned the duty of cleaning the family car. It was an all day project. They cleaned and scrubbed and used toothbrushes to clean inside every groove and crevice you could see. There was no swishing and swiping on their car. They would clean the inside and then move to the outside. They would finish up with a good wax job just about the time the sun went down and then they would clean up their mess. Some of us neighborhood kids would start out helping, but by the time we realized we weren't going to get to play with the hose and buckets of suds first we were history.

As they got older they went from the family car to their own cars. I never understood this obsession with the car cleaning. I cleaned my car, but not like these three cleaned a car. Seriously, you could eat off the underside of their car when it was finished.

As I stared at the dirt down in the crevice of the sliding door of my van that I had no intention of even tackling I wondered if they still were like that. I wondered too if they had passed that gene down to their own children.

Better yet I wondered if they would be interested in a Florida fall vacation...

The Day After

Here are the responses I got when I told family and friends about my exciting workout with Barack Obama:

Juanita: (My mother's friend) "Oh, you did? I saw him in Mt. Carmel before he was a senator."

John: (Sharon's husband) "Don't tell me you're going to vote for him now."

Jyoti: "AAAAAHHHHHHH! NO WAY! NO WAY!"

Kelly: "What was he wearing?"

Tom: "Does this mean you're a Democrat now? That is exciting."

Sarina: "AAAAAAHHHHH!"

Madison: "Oh, that's neat."

Darcy: "Really?"

Connie: "Well, that is exciting."

Susan P: "You didn't! Let me tell Savanna."

Savanna: "She did? AAAAAHHHHHH!"

Howard: (my neighbor next door) "You really saw Obama, huh? Well, Cara, that is news."

Bonnie: (my neighbor across the street) "OOOOHHHHH! No way!"

The girl's teacher: "Did you get a picture?"

Aunt Marilyn: "Get him to sign an autograph as evidence it was real."

Not too sure about that last response...not sure what she is saying about me...not sure I like that one, but I'm still on my high from the experience so I'm letting it go...

Brush with greatness?

Today I worked out in the gym with Barack Obama.

No, seriously, it is true. My friend and I arrived at our wellness center to find nurses, doctors, pharmaceutical reps, etc. standing outside the main door, along the entrance way, and inside the door to the wellness center. I thought that the fire alarm had gone off, but since no one stopped us from entering we continued on. I felt like I was on the red carpet walking between these lines of people so I started giving them my princess wave as I entered. Only when I got into the wellness center did I ask what was going on.

Counter Girl: "Obama is here,"

Me: "Where?"

CG: "In there working out."

My friend and I walked inside and there he was straight ahead on the elliptical working hard. We put our keys and wallets in the lockers, got our wipes and proceeded to the machines we always use; however, they were all full. The place was packed. There is never this many people in our wellness center in the middle of the week at this time of the morning. The only open good machines and I'm not making this up, were the two ellipticals next to Obama. So we climbed aboard and went to work.

He looks exactly like he does on camera. He is tall and thin and younger than I thought. He looks like he could use a decent meal, which I would have happily had with him, but we left him alone. He had his ear buds in and he was very focused.

We decided he was listening to his upcoming speech that he would be giving later that afternoon in Dunedin. Secret Service agents were everywhere and they straightened up as we got that close. My friend was right next to him. She could have reached out and touched him, but with the agents checking us psycho housewives out she opted not to do that. We did not speak to him, but I got to watch him as I had to turn that way to talk to my friend.

He left after awhile. Apparently, he had been there for about an hour already. He did not wipe off his sweat on the equipment and my friend, who has an obsession about cleanliness, kept her mouth shut. I admit I was worried she would stop him and remind him that cleanliness was important.

We did think about selling the right to touch his sweaty equipment but figured we'd get kicked out. He walked out of the center and got waylaid by all the people. We heard he was there for several minutes. He arrived in town yesterday and was spotted at a local hangout across from the wellness center. He ordered a hamburger.

It was exciting. This man could be President, and I worked out next to him! It pumped me up so much that I burned 387 calories on the elliptical. I've never done that in my life! These types of things never happen to me. Who says SAHM's lives are boring?

Are You Ready For Some Football?

I'm spending the entire day doing nothing but getting back into the groove.

Go Steelers!

And life goes on...

I spent today watching television of Hurricane Gustav and the Jerry Lewis telethon and thinking about my niece who only lived for 16 months. So much heartache. So much helplessness. A hurricane, diseases and a death...that was my Labor Day. And I kept on watching, listening and remembering because that is something I can do. I can take that time out of my perfect life to not forget.

Sadness - Hurricane Gustav

It is hard to rejoice about Hurricane Gustav turning away from Florida and our area when I know somewhere someone else's life will be uprooted and torn into shreds. I'm feeling very low.

1st Day of School - 2008-2009 School Year

Darcy is in 4th grade

Madison is in 6th grade

They are getting so big. It happens quickly. Sigh!

Rewinding.....

I just found this journal entry from our trip to Disney World with Aunt Sharon and Ben. I'm not sure when we took this trip but the pictures are filed in my 2007 file and it had to be around football season...

10:10 AM - We have packed the car, packed the diaper bag, packed the stroller, packed the backpacks and buckled the kids in their seats. We are off to Disney World to introduce Ben to Mickey.

10:11 AM - We have gotten down the street and around the corner, but we are headed back to the house because we have all forgotten to put on deodorant and today's high is 89 degrees.

10:15 AM - Our pits are smelling fresh and we are off again.

10:38 AM - Sharon has to stop at the bank to deposit a check and make a withdrawal. The teller is wearing an Indianapolis Colts jersey (88) and Sharon begins booing him and edging the car forward as if she is going to leave. I'm cheering Peyton. The poor guy is totally confused. We take care of business and head out on to the highway.

11:30 AM - We are here in Disney's organized parking lot. Sharon pulls out the stroller and sets it up. Inside goes the stroller goes the diaper bag, the monkey leash, two pairs of shoes, a towel, some food, extra wipes, a sippy cup, a backpack, and Ben. The girls have their backpacks. We lock the car and start hiking to the tram.

11:50 AM - We are on the tram. Ben has just awakened and isn't sure what is going on. We are on a moving open aired tram with hundreds of strangers. He smiles. His girls are here and that is all that matters.

12:00 PM - We arrive at the ticket booth to the Magic Kingdom. Sharon purchases her ticket and we move through toward the entrance when she suddenly stops and looks down at her feet. She has forgotten to change her shoes. She is wearing her sandals and because of a herniated disc, she needs her sneakers. She pulls Ben out of his stroller, (apparently she doesn't trust us to watch him) tells us to stay put, and heads back to the tram. The girls and I find shade and push the stroller toward it. We wait.

12:20 PM - Sharon and Ben arrive and we decide to take the monorail to the Magic Kingdom. The line is long and we wait and wait for our turn to board.

12:45 PM - We are on the monorail!

1:05 PM - We are STILL on the monorail. Turns out we boarded the monorail for Epcot instead of the Magic Kingdom. We are giddy now with laughter and hunger.

1:20 PM - We get off the monorail and walk back into the entrance of the Magic Kingdom where we ask for help. We are directed to the right monorail.

1:30 PM - We have arrived! We are going to eat before we do anything else.

2:00 PM - We have eaten and we are hitting the rides. Ben is enjoying his first experience at Disney World.

7:00 PM - We are heading home. Ben got to get out of his stroller and wander the park attached to his monkey leash. He loved interacting with all of the people in line at the rides. He liked the rides. He was happiest exploring interesting things on the ground like trash. He also liked marching from one square in the walkway to the next square. We think he will want to go again.

Top Three Memories of Our Trip

Number 3 - 

Me: "Let's go to the Alligator Farm."

Teddy: "Are there alligators there?"


Number 2 - 

Michael calling hushpuppies "hushbabies".


And the Number 1 Memory of our trip -

Eating once more at the local hangout Osteen's!