Easter 2024

Oleg's family invited us for Easter. We had a great time with food, games, and an Easter egg hunt. Grammy came with us, but Oleg and Darcy were working. It was relaxing not to host or collaborate with the Easter Bunny.

The egg hunt was indoors and outside, and naturally, like every year, we didn't find all the eggs. That's become a tradition. 

Happy Easter to all who celebrate!

My first book signing

I went to my first book signing yesterday while Darcy had her bachelorette weekend. While she and her bridal party were learning to pole dance, I was selling our anthology and chatting up readers.

It was a four-hour drive south to a reader's library day, but my cohort, Charley, and I had no trouble passing the time. We got there in plenty of time, set up our table, and wandered the room, meeting other authors. Behind us, to our left, was a woman who wrote a book titled The Golfer's Wife. I told her my brother was a golf professional. She asked where, and when I told her, it turned out she, too, was from Indiana.

Hearing that, the author to my left told me he was from Indiana. I wandered over to chat with him, learned he lived near Terre Haute, told him I owned a farm nearby, and discovered he knew my Uncle Cockeye.

Him: "Who didn't know Cockeye?"  

What are the odds?

I returned to our table and found a guy I'd befriended at a local conference. He bought a book, and the three of us chatted. At one point, he thought I said the Spanish word for water when telling him the name of a product.

Me: "I said Awk-quah. How did you hear Ah-qwa?"

He and I argued back and forth on what I had said, all in good fun. Later, we asked him to recommend a place for dinner, and he suggested a restaurant, giving us the street names like we were locals. We reminded him we weren't, but he didn't know the restaurant's name, so he asked another author.

Her: "Aqua."

Charley and I took that as a sign and went there for dinner after the book signing, laughing the entire time. It was 10/10, and we got there for happy hour.

I didn't come out ahead, but I'm enjoying the experience. If you want to support me, email me at cmkerwin@gmail.com, and I'll send you a signed copy of our anthology for $10.

Moving right along with wedding prep

The wedding venue has been chosen. I have not seen it, and it isn't near us, but it's signed and sealed. Darcy wanted an outdoor wedding, and barns are apparently the newest thing here. This venue, a wedding barn on tons of land, is brand new. Their wedding will be the first one here, and the owners sound very accommodating and open to things. It is all-inclusive if you want, including a wedding planner. 

Darcy is going with them for the flowers, appetizers, and venue, but the food is from a local taco food truck that caters. The DJ is a friend of hers from the church youth group and the photographer she found with the help of my photographer niece. 

In August 2022, when my buddy Sharon (Aunt Sharon to my daughters) met Oleg for the first time, she told him she wanted to be the flower girl at their wedding. 

Sharon: "It's always been my dream to be a flower girl. I want to wear a frilly dress, have my hair done, and carry a basket of flowers."

She made us call Darcy, who was traveling solo in Arizona, to nail down that role, and Darcy agreed. 

Darcy: "I haven't been asked yet, though."

A year later, Sharon met Oleg's family and told them she would be the flower girl at Oleg and Darcy's wedding. Oleg's grandmother wasn't convinced. I don't think she believed Sharon, especially when Sharon dropped to her knees and proceeded to waddle down a pretend aisle, throwing pretend flowers.

When Darcy got engaged, I asked who would officiate, and when she shrugged, I mentioned Sharon. I said out of everyone we knew, Sharon would be willing, would get ordained, and would be perfect. Darcy called Sharon first when she and Oleg picked the April date. 

Sharon agreed to give up her flower girl dream.

Sharon: "Unless we can incorporate both of those in the wedding, which I think is very doable."

So far, Darcy has vetoed that. 

But Sharon is ordained and ready to officiate. 

Things are moving along smoothly and quickly.

Wedding mishap #2

The wedding dress has arrived! Whew. Darcy and I went for the fitting, and what we thought would take a few minutes turned into a couple of hours, and tons more money shelled out.

I attempted to get her tucked into the dress (remember it is a size too small) but finally asked for assistance. While the seamstress quietly went to work on the corset back, I tried to get the woman to interact. I think she said at most twenty words the entire two hours. When I said I thought the dress was too tight, she looked at me. When Darcy pointed out something, she looked at her. I was really trying to remain calm and remember the "I got the wedding preparations" instructions, but Darcy wasn't doing much in that area.

Darcy: "Well, I've never done this before!"

I finally unhooked a clasp, and Darcy breathed. The seamstress said nothing and went about hemming, sticking pins into the wad of tule, lace, and satin. Darcy and I kept making eye contact over her head and in the mirror, and yeah, what the hell?

Finally, I stood up, went to the back of the dress, and demanded we do something so she could breathe and not have the dress dig into her skin all night. 

Added after the wedding

The seamstress nodded and explained she planned on moving the fabric behind the corset to loosen it and move the clasp. Seriously? She couldn't have said this upfront. Was she hearing the ocean when I spoke like my husband?

The alterations paid for, we headed out, and I asked what she planned to wear on her head. When she said a veil, I asked when she planned on doing that, and we headed back to the veil section.

Darcy: "I didn't know. I've never done this before!"

Of course, we had to ask for help. I did keep my cool when the girl asked if I had an appointment. I mentioned how a veil might have been a thing we should've been steered toward at the first appointment when we shopped for the dress.

She got me help. 

We picked out a veil. I shelled out more money. Crisis averted.

Miscommunication or were they bought?

In researching Ukraine traditions, I came across a blog of a girl born into the country. She had moved as a child but still had family there, and when she and her finance traveled, she took him there to visit. Her cousin was getting married, and the girl blogged the entire wedding, explaining the traditions she hadn't known about. 

One was where the groom-to-be came to his fiance's house to claim his bride, offering gifts to her parents. I read different versions and concluded it to be a fun, how-well-do-you-know-your-fiance type of game. The gist of it was that the bride-to-be's family and bridesmaids would refuse to hand her over, asking the groom-to-be questions and upping the gift ante for every wrong answer. The bridal party was like a defense against him capturing Darcy.

I told Oleg it would be fun to do it after the bridal shower had concluded. 

So, when he pulled up to the house, Darcy's posse was ready.

Maddy captured him right away, but then he escaped, and when he returned, he came bearing homemade gift boxes for all of the bridesmaids. They caved. Darcy and I were unimpressed, so it was up to the parents. But Tom was modeling suits before heading to the tux shop the next day, and when Oleg arrived, Tom was finishing a beer and trying on guests' jackets he found lying around. 

We called it quits and turned the bride-to-be over to the groom-to-be. 

Maybe we'll have better luck with the Ukrainian wedding traditions.

Darcy's Bridal Shower

As I mentioned, I suck at hosting and planning big events. Want to come over and watch football or play games? I'll provide snacks and drinks. Get up and help yourself. But decorating, finger foods, and fancy things? Ugh. I know my limits. 

I offered to give Darcy a bridal shower. In hindsight, maybe I should have left that to Madison, but she's overwhelmed with work, and I was trying to be helpful. 

Thank god for my friend SueG.

With her help, we created a shower that included breakfast and games, as Darcy had requested. Our neighborhood breakfast place catered the main dishes. Oleg's family brought food. SueG popped baby quiches in the oven. I researched and devised games. We opened several bottles of champagne, and her friend posse stayed to chat and laugh afterward.

We're getting closer to the big day!