Resolution 2023 - ten month check

 It's check-in time. One point a month for each resolution I've worked on. Hopefully, by the end of the year, I'll have 12 for completion. A score of 2 means I worked on it each month. 

• Paint my home space - My ceilings haven't been painted since we first moved in. My living room and my hallway need an overhaul. My bedroom could use it too, but that isn't as important as the first two. -  COMPLETED Score - 2 

• Entice Tom to build my shelves to display my playing card collection - I collect playing cards. I need somewhere to display them, and Tom drew out plans for what I found on Etsy. He claims he can knock it out, "don't waste your money." Once I get the paint done, this comes next. -  Some are stained, but none are hung, but that wasn't the resolution, was it? COMPLETED  Score - 2 

• Travel - Can't let those Wyndham points go to waste. - Yes! Traveled! Orlando and Vermont - Score - 2 

• Lower my cholesterol - I retake it in May or June - I did lower it. It still needs to be lowered further, and I will retake it again in November, but technically, completed. Score - 2

• Exercise/Healthy eating habits - This goes with the above, but I do need to shed some weight for my own mental health, not to mention the flip side of the coin. - A bit here, a bit there - got back to the gym - Score - 2

• Catch up on my blog - Writing has kept me from this. My readers are complaining. I need to catch up! - YES! I see the finish line! - Score 2

Total - 12 of 12 - YES! A great two months of working hard.

Scenes from an engagement party

Our family is thrilled! We consider Oleg and his family as ours, but now it will be official! We gave speeches, but all we wish for is a happy, healthy life for both of them with lots of laughter and love! 

Congrats, you two! We love you SO much!

 

My baby said yes!

Oleg told us a couple of weeks ago the date he was asking for Darcy's hand in marriage. It coincided with my brother in town, so Oleg's mother and I planned a celebration for the day after the big engagement.

Darcy has known about the ring. She worked with a jeweler to design it but had yet to see the finished product, and she hadn't a clue when he would present it.

She made a lot of comments.

Darcy: "He's had it since April. What's he waiting for? It's October!"

Darcy: "Well, I don't have a ring on my finger..."

Oleg got their friends to help him, and despite Darcy unintentionally sabotaging things, they pulled it off. 

Example: Darcy said she had to have her nails done before any proposal was allowed to happen. Several days before the date, Darcy's friend took her to have a mani/pedi. This is something the two do often, so Darcy wasn't suspicious. But she did decide not to have a manicure since she had some issues with one of her fingers. The friend had to cajole her into it, telling Darcy it was her treat. 

Example: The proposal was happening while they played putt-putt. That day, after a night spent with their friends, Darcy tried to talk them out of going. She was too tired.

Example: Oleg worked it out with the photographer that he and his fiance would play behind their group, but when everyone was in line, Darcy forgot her sunglasses and wanted to get out of line to get them.

Example: The ring was in the hole, but Darcy spotted it sticking out. Irritated because the course used flags and her ball kept bouncing off that, she exclaimed loudly that something was blocking the hole. 

Still, it happened. Oleg got the box out of the hole. Darcy asked what it was. He dropped to his knee, and the rest is history. She said yes!

They facetimed us to tell us the story.

Me: "Are you going out to celebrate now?"

Darcy: "No, I've got a game to win! Then we can go celebrate."

That's my girl!

My Vital Patch experience

I had my yearly heart doctor appointment on the day Idalia scheduled herself to arrive. Because of this, the office called two days earlier and told me I needed to drop everything and get my ass there. I refused. They told me tough noodles, so my SIL and I put our adventures on hold while I attended my appointment.

I had a list of things to discuss. But the office was crazy, and I waited far too long. When she finally arrived, I answered her question about my "wonky skipping heartbeats" by telling her that my Apple watch had recorded an Afib in March, and her eyes widened. She examined me, read my EKG, and told me she wanted me to wear a monitor for 30 days. She explained this was different from the holtor monitor I wore in that they would monitor me 24/7, and if something happened, I'd have to come "straight into the office." Then, she left me at the scheduling desk and told me she'd see me in six months.

No appointments were available until the end of September to tether me to this device, so the girl told me they'd mail it to me.

Her: "It will come with instructions on how to hook it up. It's easy."

I drove home with my mind whirling, and when I pulled into my driveway to collect my SIL for a beach run, I was pissed.

Not only did I not get to discuss my list items, but I had two trips coming in September, one of which would have me flying to the East Coast. How the hell was I supposed to come "straight to the office" if I was in Vermont?

I ignored the problem until the device arrived after returning from my first trip. I opened it, read about it, and put it aside. The next day, the company monitoring the device left me a message asking if I had questions because they could see I wasn't attached to the monitor. The same thing happened again the next day, so I called my cardiologist's office and told them the problem. I dared them to get mad. I wanted to go off on someone about the terrible appointment.

But she was sweet, dealt with the insurance company, and called me back to tell me I could hook myself up the day after I returned from Vermont.

The device came with a cell phone. There were instructions and videos, and I strapped the device to my chest, but it wasn't connecting to the phone. I pulled it off and tried again. I had to do that three times before it clicked. Then, it gave me four numbers, and none matched the number of my device or the other three. 

I called the company for help.

The number on my device was AB345-88763-9090. I read those first letters/numbers and looked for AB345 on the phone. Isn't that how people read, from left to right?

Her: "Read the last four digits on the device. Do you see them on the phone?"

I did. Tom would say it was a user error, but I told the woman they should fix that little detail in the instructions.

The next part said: "If your doctor recommends an overlay, go to the next set of instructions," and since my doctor did not say a damn thing about an overlay, I skipped that part. I also spent a week not recording my PVCs and PACs when I felt them because I assumed she wanted me to report Afibs. And let me tell you, my heart was all over the place those first few days, but hell if I know if they were recorded. I didn't report them. Maybe that's my stupidity, but I WASN'T GIVEN ANY INSTRUCTIONS.

By the end of the seven days, my monitor was barely hanging onto my skin. You couldn't remove it once the device had less than 8 hours to go, so I had to stay up until that happened before reapplying the new one. By then, I had killed time by researching this company. That led me to a video on YouTube where everything was explained IN DETAIL. This Cardiac Monitoring Technology sends all patient data instantaneously to a secure cloud, enabling monitoring for 21 different cardiac arrhythmias and real-time monitoring for four important patient vitals. 

I learned that the overlay was a layer of protection to hold the device and that tapping the Report Symptom button would take me to another screen with options to tap, such as skipping heartbeats, shortness of breath, etc. Suffice it to say, weeks 2, 3, and 4 were done correctly, and that includes checking the phone constantly to make sure it was connected because it did not warn you when it wasn't.

I named the phone Little Heifer.

I missed him when our time ended and had to return him. 

It took four weeks before I heard from the office, and all I got was a reading of sorts from the results I found myself in my patient portal and a "the doctor isn't worried."

I had to Google the results myself and will discuss them with my regular doctor, whom I see at the end of November. Meanwhile, the overlay has aggravated my skin. I'm using a cream my dermatologist gave me for another issue because, after all of this, I'm practically a doctor. 

I've decided not to worry since the cardiologist isn't worried. Still, I will have a few choice words to say when I see her in February, especially about the notes from our appointment that said she discussed another test I might want. That never happened. Patient Portal is an excellent addition to the medical field, and if you aren't taking advantage of this perk, I urge you to do so. The things you will find...

For those finding this website because they have to wear this patch, here are some pointers from my experience:

• The numbers on the patch and the phone - read the last four numbers to match
• Read the instructions and watch the video
• Wear the overlay!
• When you remove the old patch and hook the new one, hell yes, take time out to take a REAL shower. No one cares if you aren't hooked up immediately, and that shower will be the best damn thing ever! 
• Showering with the device, I used a washcloth or a hand towel over the patch to keep it from getting too wet.
• Record your symptoms, and yes, it will take a while to retrieve the phone, hit the menu, find the right button, etc. Don't do this while driving.
• If you walk away from the phone, make sure to check it when you return. If you aren't connecting, hold the phone to your chest and/or push against your patch.

Feel free to comment if you have questions too. Or Google it on YouTube. Or laugh at me because you have no issues and think I'm an idiot. My heart can take it.

Okay, he's funny

Our recent weeknight:

Husband arrives long past regular working hours. He begins his routine, turning on his office light to deposit his stuff before moving into the kitchen to drop off his keys. On goes the kitchen light. 

Me: "Turn off the office light."

I'm ignored. He's taken to ordering premade protein meals from his workout facility. One goes into the microwave before he heads toward the bedroom, turning on the hall light so he can see. Because there is only one switch, he does not backtrack after flipping on the bedroom light.

Me: "Turn off the light!"

He's in the bedroom for several minutes, loving on his dog and changing out of his work clothes. Meanwhile, the microwave beeps. 

Microwave: "I'm finished. Beep. Come get me. Beep. Your food is hot now. Beep. Hello? Beep. Beep. Beep."

It drives me nuts.

Me: "Your food is done! And turn off the lights!"

Out, he appears with the dog. Both the bedroom and hallway lights are still on.

Me: "No wonder our bill is high every month! You don't shut off any lights."

Him: "I need to see."

They disappear into the dark outdoors. Depending on the dog's mood, they're outside for seconds or minutes. Tom stands with the door open.

Me: "Shut the door, the mosquitoes are coming in."

Microwave: "Beep. Hello? Your food is cold. Beep. Now you have to turn me on again. Beep. What a waste of electricity. Beep. Beep. Beep."

They return. Elliot drinks water, eats treats, and returns to his brightly lit cave. Tom finishes getting his food and comes out into the living room.

Me: "Arg. You left the kitchen light on. And turn off the hall light!"

Him: "Alexa! Turn off the whining. Please!"

I'll never be an erotic model

Elliot turned 14 in August. His age began showing in spring, and little by little, his eyesight faded, his osteoarthritis ramped up, and he decided social niceties weren't his thing, preferring to hang out on our bed.

He quit using the stairs to get up and down on the bed a few months ago. That meant we had to lift him, and once we set him down, he'd pee. So, now we carry him outside, and he walks back in, stopping for a treat and a drink. 

Elliot weighs 28.7 pounds. I'm not supposed to lift anything over ten pounds due to medical reasons, but we don't have a choice. As it is, my dog pee-stained carpets drive me crazy, and I'm not about to add to them. But removing the carpeting isn't an option. He needs it for stability. Thus, we have a system. 

I take him out twice during the day. Maddy does the evening feeding time. Tom does the rest, including waking him in the early morning. After an accident on the bed, I purchased a dog blanket for protection, and we've stumbled along with this new normal.

Yesterday, I came home from the gym. Elliot was sleeping, so I hopped into the shower. We'd had some cooler weather, and the bathroom window was open, so when I heard some odd noises, I assumed it was my neighbors fixing up their backyard landscape. 

When the whining started, I knew I was wrong and jumped out of the shower, dripping water. Elliot's lower half was on the bed. His upper half was frantically pawing at the chest at the bed's foot. This happened one other time when his stomach was upset. I hoped this was NOT the situation, thinking instead that he'd misstepped. 

I put him back on the bed, and he immediately went to the stairs and whined. Oh, boy. I had, for some weird reason, an old towel. One that would not wrap around this rotund body, but I could not leave him to get dressed because I was afraid he'd try to jump.

At least he knows pooping on the bed is not something we would want, although the blanket would've protected my mattress. But not wanting to give him the wrong idea, I held the towel to my front with my armpits, scooped him up, and carried him to the front door. 

Picture this--the towel across the frontal privates, ends flapping on either side, my backside exposed to the elements. 

I knew the neighbors directly across were out, that the one catty-corner to my left works, and that the ones catty-corner to my right were either in or out. Still, I had no choice.

So, silently apologizing to whoever might see this naked body, I opened the door, set Elliot down on the porch instead of hiking out into the open yard, and told him I'd be right back. Then, I ran to my room and got a pair of underwear.

WHAT?

It's a mystery why that was my first grab. A robe and a beach towel did not cross my mind. And instead of putting on the underwear, I brought it to the front door, where I discovered Elliot had, instead of walking straight ahead to the yard, turned to the right and somehow fallen off the porch into this little section of various plantings and mulch. He couldn't get up, his arms and legs waving desperately. Running to his aid would have exposed me to anyone outside and all Ring doorbells, so I apologized to him and ran and put on a robe. 

Then, I rescued him and got him into the yard. I was a mess. Mulch and dirt clung to my wet feet and legs, my hair stood on end, and because my robe had lost its sash, I held it tightly, emphasizing every curve and fat roll. 

Dear lord, my poor neighbors. 

When we were back in the house, I laughed so hard I could barely breathe. Elliot gave me a side-eyed sneer and limped into the bedroom. 

Elliot: "I've never been so humiliated."

Me: "Blame your father. He's the one that keeps feeding you seasoned chicken."

I am happy to report that our Ring doorbell only recorded a side view from my head to my shoulder, so unless my next-door neighbor, who has multiple cameras, caught anything, I'm hopeful I won't end up on the Internet.