Four month resolution check

Four month resolution check. I grade from 1-10 with 10 being the highest. Still early in the year so I'm not feeling too shabby...

1. To get into a routine with my physical therapy exercises and to have massages - I started out in March strong, but fizzled quite early. I do the exercises, but there is no routine. I know I meant daily, but that's difficult because it takes a chunk out of my time. I have had no massage. I blame it on trying to find someone with recommendations that doesn't cost and arm and a leg. Sigh. I'll have to really try harder. Grade: 4
2. To be serious about getting healthy; lose weight, exercise regularly, swim - Another one where I started strong, but fizzled. I am always glad when I finish exercising, but getting there is the hard part. I know that if I went to the gym every day that would also take care of #1 because I love to do my therapy on the tables at the gym. I've eaten better so I'm going to be able to have a least some points, but I have not done any swimming. Grade: 4
3. To celebrate people's birthdays via my blog - YES! YES! I have done this in spades and even gone beyond what I suggested. Boom Baby! Grade: 10
4. To scan all my photos and organize them on the computer - Yes, I have done this a little bit at a time. I made my brother a great album of his pictures from birth to when he got married. I'm hoping to make a few more books with all of the pictures and slides I'm scanning. Yay! I'm actually completing a resolution. Grade: 10
5. To work on myself mentally - Yes. I keep forgetting this one is here, but I can honestly say that I have done well with this one. It isn't easy, as I live in my head far too often and far too long, but I am working really well on the good in life and not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future as much as I've done my whole life. So pat on the back for me. Grade: 6

Total Score: 34 out of 50 - Four points better than last resolution check. That's a positive. Gotta keep on chugging on.

If you would like to leave a message

Before 8:00 AM our house phone was ringing on Tuesday, and I knew it had to be my husband. As I went to pick up the receiver, I spied his cell phone sitting on the counter and knew the reason for the call. His cell phone is also his work phone. Oops. I volunteered to bring the phone to his office as I had to go pick up my charge's guitar for her lesson later that day.

Me: "But how will I let you know I'm there?"
Tom: "Just come into the front desk."
Me: "No, I do not want to get out of the car and try to find the front desk. I want to drive up and have you waiting. I'll be there at 8:20."
Tom: "You could call my desk."
Me: "I didn't know you even had another phone."
Tom: "Do you want the number?"

I did, and as I wrote it down on a piece of paper lying on my counter, the little voice in my head was saying quietly, "Put this number in your phone because you will forget this paper when you leave." But I poo pooed the voice in my head as I often do, used the paper, brushed my teeth, and headed out the door to pick up the guitar and deliver the phone. I forgot the paper with the number on it, of course. I remembered it after I had the guitar and was halfway to the law enforcement building where my husband works. I kicked myself.

Little Voice: "I told you. I told you to write that number in your phone. I knew you would forget it. Why do you insist on not listening to me? Why do you second guess me? Why? Oh, why? NOW what are you going to do? You're going to have to get out of the car and go into the front office."
Me: "No, I'm going to remember the number. I just wrote it down. I have to be able to pull it out."
Little Voice: "Oh, honey, thanks for the laugh for the day."
Me: "Shut up."

I remembered the first three numbers of the phone number because they were so obscure and so far off from his old work number. I drove and recited those three numbers hoping the others would pop in. I visualized writing them down and the last two numbers came to me. Excitedly, I kept working on the missing two and lo and behold, praise the lord!, the numbers appeared. I had a seven digit number that just might work. I was quite thrilled that my aging brain had recovered these numbers and could barely drive I was so thankful and excited.

Me: "Little Voice? Where are you? You're suspiciously quiet all of a sudden."

I drove into the parking lot which is monitored with cameras. I know this because I've visited the set up and seen all of the monitors in the room where they are manned in all of our county's law enforcement owned buildings. I pictured the employee watching my van pull into the very crowded parking lot. I tried the number as I entered the lot and an automated voice came on. I named her Barbara.

Barbara: "The person you are trying to reach..."
Tom: "Tom B."
Barbara: "is unavailable. If you would like to leave..."

I hung up on Barbara and gritted my teeth. My husband knew I was coming. How dare he take a call on that phone. I tried it again.

Barbara: "The person you are trying to reach..."
Tom: "Tom B."
Barbara: "is unavailable. If you would like to leave..."

I hung up again and tried to bring forth my good feelings about remembering the number in the first place. By now I was making my second drive through of the law enforcement parking lot with a cell phone pasted to my ear. The only empty parking spaces were in the front of the building labeled "Media" and far off at the end of the lot where I couldn't see the doors to the building. I continued to drive. I made a third pass and called the number again.

Barbara: "The person you are trying to reach..."
Tom: "Tom B."
Barbara: "is unavailable. If you would like to leave message, please do so at the beep."
Me: "Buzz off Barbara. Get my husband off the damn phone!"

I pictured the employee who was monitoring the parking lot calling forth his co-hort to look at this suspicious van that was now starting a fourth circle around the lot. I started sweating envisioning the SWAT team rushing out to surround my van to question me. I went to the end of the parking lot and found a space to pull in to park. I called the number again.

Barbara: "The person you are trying to reach..."
Tom: "Tom B."
Barbara: "is unavailable. If you would like to leave a message, please do so at the beep. At the end of the message press star and the pound sign..."
Me: "What? That's crazy."
Barbara: "Or just hang up. Blah, blah, more message I didn't retain, blah, blah."
Me: "That is the craziest thing I've ever heard. If we can just hang up why worry about the star and the pound sign? Jesus, Barbara, you're a pain."
Barbara: "BEEEEEEEEP"
Me: "TOM! GET OFF THE PHONE. I'M IN THE PARKING LOT AND I'VE BEEN DRIVING AROUND AND AROUND IN CIRCLES. I TOLD YOU I WOULD BE HERE BY 8:20! GET OFF THE PHONE. ERGGGGGGG"

I pressed star and the pound sign just to be a shit in case Barbara also had eyes on me and hung up. Immediately Tom's cell phone rang. I rolled my eyes because that is right up Tom's alley, calling his phone to be funny. Actually I thought it a tad funny. I picked up the phone and the front had his name as the caller.

Me: "Hello? You're so funny."
Barbara: "You have one new voice mail message."
Me: "Jesus! Barbara? What the hell?"
Barbara: "To listen to your message, press one."
Me: "Okay, fine, I'll play."
Barbara: "Please enter your four digit password code to listen to your message."
Me: "Oh, for heaven's sake, I don't have that code."
Barbara: "Maybe you'll think twice next time about messing with me, huh?"

Okay, she didn't say that last part because I had already hung up on her, but I knew she would have said that or nastier words like it. I picked up my phone and called Tom's number again and he answered.

Tom: "I'm heading down."
Me: "I've been here for hours."
Tom: "I must have been on the phone."
Me: "You think?"

I drove around for the fifth time and waited at the curb to the front of the building. I waved forward, sideways, and backwards, at each camera so that the monitors could see me. Tom appeared and got his phone. I told him to fire Barbara.

Tom: "Who's Barbara?"
Me: "The little shit who takes your messages. I left you a message."
Tom: "Really? That's weird. She usually calls my cell phone when you leave a message....oh."
Me: "You're laughing. Hilarious."
Tom: "She's prompt, isn't she?"
Me: "We'll discuss it later. I'm going home to think of ways to get back at her."

Two years, but who's counting

Today is the anniversary of my mother's death. It seems like an odd thing to refer to as an anniversary which to me conjures up happiness and celebrating, but it fits the definition. When I got the call that my father was dead, and when I had finished screaming and sobbing like a lunatic, the first thing I remember asking, and frantically, was "what is today's date". It was like I knew it was something important that I needed to mentally jot down. But as the years passed I didn't always remember on that very day and that came with it horror, regret, and guilt. How could I not remember that today was the day? 

This year I started remembering the date early as if someone were keeping score on whether I was a good daughter or not. I got so caught up in remembering the 25th that I forgot my wedding anniversary two days prior; something that is a happy celebration. Then the actual day arrived and it wasn't until I was halfway through the day that I remembered. Bam! Oh, no! I had forgotten after all of this preparation? How could that even be? What was wrong with me? And then it hit me. Nothing. 

It's a number, but it doesn't make me less of a daughter if I forget or don't remember. I spend a good part of my week thinking of my mother and father. Each time I look in the mirror or see my brother they come to mind. I have so much of both of them inside of who I am as a person that it is virtual impossible to forget them. Some days I would like to. I've got maybe too much of some of the wrong sides, as well as the good. (Insert emoji with a tongue sticking out) I use to discuss my dad with my children on the anniversary of his death, telling them stories and making them laugh. I thought it a nice tribute to him, but eventually that petered off. Now I realize I tell them stories about him in our daily life. I'm constantly saying, "putting an asshole on a hobby horse" when someone asks me what I'm doing when they can clearly see for themselves what I'm doing. I'm always telling Tom what my dad would be doing on a repair job. Now I find that my mother is creeping into those little bits of daily life too. "Just throw in what you think and stop worrying about measuring!" 

The other day at the library I saw that an author we both read had a new book. I was stunned. How was that possible? She had just written one. My mom had read it before she died. And there, right there, I thought it's been two years already that's how. I was with my little elementary charge, and so I told her that and then told her a story about my mom and reading. Who needs an anniversary? My parents are with me always, and remembering them doesn't need a date.

Arriving...

This arrived in my mailbox this week. It is a flyer from a local Honda dealer and it was addressed to my husband. The dealer wants my husband to know that he will give him "the opportunity to upgrade into a new Honda with a lower payment, increased factory warranty and little or no out-of-pocket expenses." There were a couple of asterisks after that sentence and in tiny print at the bottom of the letter it offered up some conditions like a 720 credit score. Whatever. I'm not buying another Honda or any other car for that matter. My god! Look how long it took me to decide what to get this go around. I seriously could not deal with making that decision again for heaven's sake. But what got me about the flyer was the beautiful picture of my house. MY HOUSE. It stopped me in my tracks, (my tracks were to the left of the dash a bit further down the driveway) I'll tell you, and it got me thinking a few things:

1. Does Honda hire a photographer to go around to all Honda owners homes and take pictures of their house?
2. Was this photographer aiming his Honda at my house? How difficult was that? Did he have to park in my neighbor's driveway to get that perfect picture?
3. It says, Arriving at the Boos Home. Who is arriving at my home? Am I suppose to put myself in the seat of that Honda? Because I'll tell you right now...I'm NOT from Kentucky. I DO NOT park in my yard. I would arrive at the house IN THE DRIVEWAY.
4. Is that my Honda dashboard in the picture because it sure looks like it. Seriously, someone took the time to download satellite pictures and then pictures of the dashes of cars that the people actually own? Is there an employee who does nothing but this?
5. Why don't I have this job?
6. Why am I not in the front seat of a different Honda? Say one this dealership thinks I should have based on my house and property? That could be a great bonus incentive. Pick the Honda you think these people will upgrade to and if you are right? SCORE.
7. I think I'll call Honda and ask them to bring to my house a few cars I might be interested in. Because it says, Arriving at the Boos House. What? That doesn't mean you're coming to my house with new cars? Can you just imagine how much fun it would be to mess with that employee? I guarantee in Florida some elderly people aren't catching on to this flyer and are calling in asking questions. Why not me?
8. We don't have that swing anymore. 

A friend of mine got the same letter only it was her Honda car driving up to her house. She was a bit freaked out about it and wanted to go into the dealership and scream for the manager. I hope she takes me with her if she does that because what a great blog that would be, but frankly, this is the world we live in today. Nothing is private.**

**Especially if you hang around me. Everything is blog-able.

New things I've learned this past month

1. Tomato paste comes in a tube! - I was griping while making my Lasagna soup that lately recipes I've made have only called for a couple of tablespoons of paste and what am I suppose to do with the leftover portion? My good buddy, Hazel Kelly, who is a superior whiz in the kitchen, told me I could get this in a tube, and then she sent me a picture of it the next time she was in the grocery.
2. Not to judge my new neighbor harshly - We have a great oak tree in our front yard and its branches stretch out over the street, our neighbor's yard, and our house, yard, and driveway. The county cuts the branches over the street every two years or so. Our first neighbor asked us to leave the branches and our second neighbor whined about them, but no one took him seriously. Our new neighbors just flat out went ahead and hired someone to cut them. I woke up to the sound of the electric chainsaw and giant limbs plummeting to the ground. In a quick Google search to determine if this was legal, I found it was, although all of the sites I read suggested a conversation with the owner of the tree. After considerable thinking on my part, I've decided our neighbor did the right thing because had she come over to discuss the trimming of our tree I would've offered to pay for it.
3. The meaning to the word WEFT - I do the crossword puzzle in our morning newspaper every day. A few weeks ago this word came up. I had to look it up because I had never heard of it. It came up again this week and I had not retained the damn word. Once the boxes were filled out and weft was right there in front of me I remembered it. Now I hope I never forget it. It is a tapestry thread, by the way.
4. That I have a long way to go in the listening department - I am a talker. I know! Shocking to so many of you that know me. I've really tried hard these past few months to work on my listening skills, but I ruined all my hard work this past weekend at a dinner party. I'm more like my mother than I'd like to admit. Knowing it all is just hard. She always told me that. Now I've got to just keep that to myself....
5. How to iron out carpet stains - This one was a Facebook post that someone shared. I watched it and then Googled it and then tried it. First, you take a mixture of white vinegar and water and spray it on the stain. Second, you take a hot wet rag and place it over the mixture/stain. Lastly, you iron over the rag on a steam setting. The stain is suppose to come through on the rag and disappear from the carpet. I ironed out an Elliot urine stain I found in Madison's bedroom. Here are the results:

The stain

 

Steps 1 and 2

The stain coming through the rag

The finished product...hmmmmm....

Zero down but only in the weight

After the death of my mother, I entered menopause and gained fifteen pounds. To me, it seemed to come in one fell swoop, although I suspect that truly wasn't the case. Since then I have been trying to get rid of the excess weight in various half-assed ways, none of them worthwhile. One such method was to keep my mouth occupied by working on a jawbreaker. My friend got me a little bag of the multi-colored sugar balls, and I used them as a supplement to food. When I felt a craving to have something in my mouth I popped in a jawbreaker. The only problem with that is I'm not a candy sucker, I'm a biter. See where I'm going with this?

In January the left side of my mouth started hurting. I blamed it on the electric toothbrush I had gotten in my stocking. I stopped using it and returned to my manual brush. The pain continued. I decided that it was because I was biting too hard on the mouth guard I have to wear to bed due to "grinding" in my sleep. Eventually, the pain got to a point that I couldn't even chew on that side of the mouth and flossing struck a nerve, so to speak. I called the dentist.

Longtime readers might recall my dentist sagas. I'm not a fan of sitting in that reclining chair, and I abhor getting my teeth cleaned. I spent way too many years in the orthodontist's chair and every time I'm reclined my mouth automatically opens. I've had decent dentists, and I've had some that weren't so decent. While I now have a sweetheart of a dentist, that hasn't changed my lack of excitement in visiting him every six months. I put it off until I couldn't anymore, and I called it in.

Visit number one consisted of various x-rays, the filing down of my tooth because he suspected that it was bite related, and a $260 bill. I went home and nothing changed. I put it off until my March cleaning appointment. That visit resulted in the diagnosis of an inner crack in the cusp of the tooth that would require a crown. Visit number three was a three hour one where I received my temporary crown and a $1500 bill. As I sat listening to the instructions from the dental assistant on what and what not to do with my temporary crown, the anesthesia wore off and I noticed NO difference in the tooth. I mentioned this and was told to give it a few days to let the roots and inflammation die down. I gave it a week and a half and called again. My dentist got on the phone and we talked for twenty minutes. He admitted he was stumped. Visit number four is scheduled for tomorrow.

I think I need a root canal. I had one several years ago on tooth number 14 which happens to be in front of the new aching tooth, number 15.

Dentist: "You have the dental lingo down."
Me: "I feel I'm ready to help you out anytime you need me."
Dentist: "I'm going to be gone for a couple of days and could use your help."

He wants to air on the conservative side. I refrained from making a snide comment regarding those currently running for president and agreed to let him have another shot. But I believe that I'll end up in an endodontist's chair, and with a bill of $3000.  I always knew trying to lose weight wasn't worth it. By golly, this is proof!

Birthday video shout out #2

My nephew's birthday was the beginning of April. As usual I have yet to send the gift. (Listen! It's an illness. I truly believe that) Actually I blame the commercialism of birthdays. Do kids really need more crap? We should be donating to their college fund or their college drinking fund. Something else besides nonsense they don't need. I need to find something, like books, that I can send to everyone on my list. Hmmm...that's a good one I like that. I should file that away.

My go to for a gift is Amazon. Amazon has EVERYTHING. I should have gotten my crown for my tooth on Amazon. I bet it would have been cheaper. So today I went to check my To Do List from last week to put any leftovers on this week's list, and sure enough there was "Buy Joey/Send Gift". So I got online to send that Amazon gift card and that made me wonder if I had sent his sister one in January. I had no record in my Amazon account of that. Now I can't remember if I sent anything or not. I truly have an issue. So in the spirit of shouting out to make up for my forgetfulness and lateness on gift sending, here is a birthday video for my niece and nephew who just happen to be siblings!

Happy Birthday guys! We truly do love you.

What I've been doing the past two months

Several weeks ago I became a full time tutor. I started out as a part-time tutor/nanny, but that was too hard adjusting to the various times and days scheduled with the parent. It wasn't working out and so we went to it being a full time job. The child is a fifth grader and is in a gifted school that is taught half the day in Spanish. (Insert wide eyed emoji) Last year her Math and Science was taught in Spanish. This year it is Language Arts and Spanish. I do not speak Spanish, so to say it has been a rocky road is putting it mildly.

Every week the teachers send out the weekly homework assignment online. I print it out and try to plan for the week accordingly. This week, for example, is very different due to state testing and a surgery the child is scheduled for in the middle of the week. I've had to devise a plan to get work done in a timely manner working around obstacles such as guitar lessons and taekwondo. I also have to remember that I have a daughter who still needs dinner and whatever attention and help that may crop up in her life.

Darcy: "I don't like you having another kid."

I always helped my children with homework; probably too much. Show me a parent who doesn't push a child out of the way to better straighten out letters on a poster board, and I'll show you a parent who is less anxious than me. I've never met that parent. I've watched kids carry into school homework projects that could earn big contracts in the work place. I've seen student's dioramas that could win national art awards (cough..Jaimee...cough). I've viewed children's science projects, short stories, videos, and power points that have moved on to the state capitol in competitions, and yes, I'm guilty. I, of course, blame the teachers who in back in kindergarten graded on a high scale that made me feel I needed to do the cutting out of letters and pictures because my kids' fingers weren't able to handle that kind of pressure!

Once my kids hit high school the work became too hard for me. The only thing I was capable of doing was proofing papers and helping them study for tests from a study sheet. For the most part I haven't worked much on school work in the last three years so starting back up in elementary school was a challenge. My areas of expertise are Language Arts and Social Studies. I am not a Math or Science person. Throwing in Spanish on top of it all? Why not? Thank god for the Internet. When the assignments come I translate them using the computer and when the translation doesn't make a lick of sense I call Madison. So far it has worked fairly well.

My student, of course, finds my lack of skills hilarious. She has taken to teaching me Math using odd little codes like "King Henry Doesn't Usually Drink Chocolate Milk" and writing out conversion charts. Little does she know that my ignorance is forcing her to teach me which in turn teaches her.. Sometimes being dumb has its advantages. I, in turn, have been catching up on math skills I never truly had lost long ago such as multiplying fractions, something not desperately used in the SAHM world. Of course, new math is very different from my "old math" yet the two of us have merged the two together quite nicely into something that works for both of us.

Science has been a tad easier. The Internet helps me immensely with that one. So far we have studied the cells of animals, the weather, and we are currently working on the phases of the moon. Her weather project had us building various weather devices which sat in my backyard for two weeks while we monitored them. Unfortunately, for us the Florida weather did nothing the two weeks we observed except blow wind in different directions.

The one thing I have noticed is that the projects assigned are still as nonsensical as they were when my children were in elementary school. (Hello Mr. D.'s bug project) For this weather assignment we needed a "brick with holes". The child and I went outside and walked around my entire yard. We found 956 bricks and none of them, NONE OF THEM, had holes in them. I finally went next door to the construction worker, who I've gotten to know instead of the new neighbor whom I've never seen, and asked him if he had a holey brick. He did not, but later he knocked on my door with half of a brick with a hole in it. SCORE! We took it, and it made the cut.

The main thing that I've worked on is time management. That is this student's downfall. That and the fact that frankly it is all too boring and time consuming, and yes, sometimes I have to agree with that. In Language Arts she watches Spanish videos that can either be soap operas that elementary kids probably shouldn't be watching or cartoons where adult characters are beating the crap out of each other. From these video, she is to chose five words she doesn't know and give the definition. While I'm okay with that, the writing of the synopsis is done via copying and pasting from the translation site on the computer, and since a requirement is to highlight the periods I'm thinking the teacher just counts the yellow dots to make sure the required number of sentences is done instead of grading the content.

My little charge is smart. Her Spanish is incredible. I'm sure she can speak Spanish in circles around my two girls who have been taking it since they were three years old. She enjoys learning and is very much like Madison in that she retains all knowledge, soaking it up like a sponge. The problem is that she finds all of the homework to be ridiculous, and I can't really argue. A lot of it is busy work, and while I'm sure it benefits, I'm also sure it puts kids off of learning. Time management is necessary, and I keep reminding her that this shit only gets harder as she ages and moves through the grades. We are slowly getting into a routine and she is slowly bringing her grades back to where they should have been from the beginning of the year.

The whole process has given me a renewed sense of neediness. It has given her a structured learning environment and a refuge from her brother who doesn't get home from middle school until after five and is always cranky. (After 5! Crazy) Together we are working on the future...hers and mine. 

Siblings Day 2016

Apparently there is now something called, National Siblings Day. I knew nothing about it. I have no memory of a day where we celebrate our siblings, and would have happily gone about that day in my ignorance if social media hadn't pointed the day out to me. Everywhere I browsed people were posting pictures and wonderful things to say about their siblings. Since I had just finished a birthday shout out AND a photo book for my male sibling I waited until the end of the day, and then I sent a video SnapChat of me using one of those crazy filters that distorts the face. I think I said, "I've been told today is National Sibling Day so Happy Happy to you. Love you." He sent one back using another nutty filter and said, "Of all of my siblings, you're one of them." Done. Check. He really isn't into sentimental nonsense.

Yesterday I went on Facebook to check in, (actually I went on there to check the spelling of someone's name because she doesn't spell it right and I always forget and use Facebook as my checker....Jaimee) and there were all the National Siblings Day pictures and accolades from Sunday. I felt pretty good in that I hadn't bowed down to the pressure, but then in working on another project I came across a blog post I wrote in 2005. It brought a little tear to my eye gave me the idea to re-post it in honor of National Siblings Day, albeit a few days late, and so I tweaked it some and added pictures. Because...hey!...it also gave me an entry for the week.

Sucking Up Now That I Know He Reads This Site
Posted January 12, 2005
Changes made in italics 2016

Today my brother called me and in the conversation he let it be known that he is reading my website. Actually, his exact words were, "My wife is making me read your website." He wanted me to write something daily now that he was reading. I was on my cell phone in the middle of the library and he was somewhere in Indiana, thus I could not bow down before him and promise to get right on that.There are 3 years, 3 months and 14 days between the two of us. I have always been the eldest. He has always been the one in charge. Had the birth years been reversed, the roles would still have been the same.

My first memory of my brother was the day he came home from the hospital. We were in the driveway of our house in Pennsylvania. I was in the backseat, leaning over the front seat, staring at this tiny bundle. I don't remember what I was thinking or what was said. I don't remember anything except looking at him. The memory is one of those like they show in the movies where I am standing at the age I am now, watching me as I was then. My brother is swaddled in a blue blanket and his face is staring up at me. I'm not sure if that memory is because I have seen a photo of him in an album, or if it is truly what happened.

After that I really don't have much memory of him of our days living in Pennsylvania or North Carolina. To be fairly honest I have very few memories of that time in my life period. My memories of my childhood begin in Indiana when I was seven and he had just turned four. My brother was a cute kid. My favorite time with him was when we would swim at the pool. His little, wet eyelashes would fan out and clump together to make these little stars above his eyes. He would swim up to me and hold on to me and bat his little star lashes at me, and I would just melt. He was so adorable. That is pretty much the only adorable memory I have of him.

Most of the time my brother was a tormentor. He would pick on me. He would make fun of me. He would hit me. He loved to hit me with his fist on the side of my arm. To this day I can pretty much still take that punch. (Not so much in 2016) He would also take his index finger anytime he was around me and poke me right in the side to make me jump. He would do it so much and so often that anytime he would pass me I would jerk. I am ashamed to say that even today I still protectively cover my side when he comes near me. This of course makes him feel superior, and that pretty much is the way of our relationship..

There were times when we got along. I remember playing board games and cards with him. We had a huge neighborhood full of kids and we played games inside and out. On Sunday mornings when all the neighbors were at church we would get up and bowl in our basement or play other games. We use to play a thing when we ate our ice cream where one of us would pretend to be asleep and the other one would still a scoop of ice cream. But most of the time we fought. We disagreed about everything, and everyone, and we always ended up fighting. It was a typical brother/sister relationship in the 70's and 80's.

Despite that stuff, I was very proud of my brother. He was one of those kids that excelled in athletics. There was not a sport he couldn't do, and he played everything; football, baseball, soccer, swimming, tennis, golf. Every sport he tried he was heavily sought after by coaches wanting to turn him into the next great thing. He finally chose golf as his sport and most of his time was taken up with that traveling, playing, and winning in various tournaments. People would always pat me and ask me if I was jealous of him. They wanted to know if I felt left out. I remember always being surprised by this. I never once was jealous of his athletic ability or his successes. I was so proud of him I could have burst. There were things he was good at. There were things I was good at. We weren't in a competition, and no matter how I tried to explain this to people they never believed me. I sometimes thought people needed me to be jealous, but I never understand why. If there was any jealousy, it didn't have to do with his athletic abilities, but more with his ability to charm and get affection from my mother.

As we got older I desperately wanted a relationship with my brother. I even loaned him the money to go on his first date with the woman he later married., and that date occurred on my birthday! Which just goes to show you the way of our relationship. I had a birthday, and he leaves and goes on a date. Okay, okay, in all fairness he did join us for my birthday dinner. I'm not sure, looking back on it now, what I was searching for. I think I wanted to be able to sit down and just have a conversation with him. One that didn't involve him telling me what to do or telling me I was wrong. Today, and especially after the death of our parents, we have more of the relationship I craved, and perhaps that is just the way it is as we age.

We grew into adulthood and just sort of went on with our lives. We saw each other when I came home to Indiana, and later, after the children came, he visited me. We talk on the phone now and then and email. He, of course, has no memory of abusing me when we were younger. I'm not sure what his memories are, but I think he wears a halo in them.

The last time my brother visited he, we went out alone to pick up some dinner. He asked me about myself. How was I doing? What was I feeling? He really wanted to know, to have a serious conversation and so I told him that my biggest fear was something happening to my husband. I told him that I could never support my children as I hadn't worked in several years, and I worried about that at times. He looked at me in disbelieve. "I cannot believe you would worry about that," he told me. "If something like that ever happened I would take care of you. You're my sister. We're family. I will always take care of you if you need me." And then he reached over and put his hand on my arm and patted it. 

And I realized that when I peered over that seat into those little brown eyes that day many years ago, I was staring down at my family, my blood, my brother. The little person that would be a part of me always through life sharing things no one else would share with me. And no matter how little we see of each other, no matter how many times we poke and prod each other, no matter how much we yell at each other, or disagree with one another, we are connected. He loves me. I love him. Bottom line.

Plus, now that I know he's being forced to read this website I thought I should schmooze him a bit.

Happy Siblings Day to my Bro who makes me laugh the loudest. Love you.

Who are "they"?

While on a road trip this past week I noticed that everyone in conversation would refer to "they" as in "they say, you should drink eight glasses of water a day" or "they say, you should eat more fruits and vegetables" or "they say, it's okay to over inflate your tires". So I wondered. Who are "they" these experts? I set out to find an answer.

Who are "they"?

Joyce  - "It depends on the subject being discussed."

Cara - "They are people in the sky who look down upon us and know all. Not God or angels, but people who are assigned this very task; to know all and to offer up advice."

Macie (10 yrs. old) - "People"

Kelly - "Experts, gossipers, and bloggers"

Mandy - "Hoda Kotb and Matt Lauer from The Today Show"

Darcy (16 yrs) - "The people in your every day life"

Evie (8 yrs) - "Imaginary friends"

Neighbor #2 - "The man in the moon."

Tom - They have to remain anonymous to protect their reputation"

Alex (13 yrs) - "Aliens with high superior knowledge and intelligence who send high frequency radio waves to our brains through our antennas ie. our hair"

SueG - "I am they."

Madison - "People from the Internet"

Neighbor #1 - "Wise men"

Anonymous - "If I tell you, I'll have to kill you."

I think I'll continue my research and branch out to strangers. Everyone has very different answers, and I'm finding it all quite fascinating. Stay tuned.

Joyce: "It seems like from all of those answers that we are all very gullible people."

Clearwater Marine Aquarium with the cousins

Sunday we took our cousins to The Clearwater Marine Aquarium. Mandy had mentioned to me that she would be interested in seeing the Dali Museum, but after hearing about how much her girls were into wildlife and such I recommended the aquarium. She had only heard a mention of Winter and so did what I told her and rented A Dolphin Tale to watch before we went.

It had been five years since I had been to the Aquarium. I thought it had only been a couple of years, but in looking back for my pictures I discovered it had been longer. At one time we had been members of the aquarium, and we would all go on a Sunday to spend a few hours exploring. After Winter came to stardom, the aquarium seized the moment and became more of a tourist attraction and less of a place for the locals. I don't begrudge them that because the rehabilitation and rescue work the aquarium does is huge in this area and the finance aspect, just like at the Center for Great Apes, is huge. Tom, who use to sometimes just take the girls to the aquarium for an hour or so during the week, hadn't been there since the movie. (He also hasn't even seen the movie!)

We drove over, but parking was packed and they sent us back across the bridge to catch the trolley. The aquarium took over an old shopping building in downtown Clearwater and turned it into an exhibit area. We got our tickets there and took the ferry over to the old waste treatment facility that houses the aquarium and its animals.

It was a beautiful day for a boat ride. The weather was cool for April and the water serene. We waved at boaters and got an educational talk from the captain and first mate regarding wildlife in the gulf.

We got off at the boat ramp to the aquarium and went inside, stopping for some hot dogs and water on our way to the entrance. Once inside we followed the crowd to Nicholas the dolphin who was swimming outdoors and going through a training session. The aquarium is not an amusement park. It is a rescue, rehabilitation, and release center and it is serious about that. The presentations are all done to educate the visitors. The animals that live at the aquarium do so because they can not, for one reason or another, survive on their own in the wild.

We ended up going our separate ways to tour the aquarium. I like to spend my time when I'm there observing the dolphins and the otters. Just like the orangutans I find them both fascinating in terms of intelligence. What had changed since my last visit was the proximity to the dolphins. In the "old" days one could walk right up to the wall of the dolphin tank, but now there are ropes that keep people from doing this. It made getting pictures just a tad difficult and took away from what I loved about the aquarium. Ah, changes.

We did not get to see the demonstration of Winter getting her prosthetic tail usage time either. I've never not been there for that at the aquarium, but it doesn't done on a regularly scheduled time. None of the presentations are done on a timetable. It is all done on the animals timetable. I stood and watched the dolphins through a couple of trainer observations. They threw toys into the tank and observed the dolphins. Hope and Winter, the two rescued dolphins and stars of the two movies, are buddies and reside in the same three tanks. Hope spent a lot of her time "standing on her head" with her tail out of the water.

Below are windows to observe the dolphins from an underwater point of view. At one point the trainer was below with a two way mirror where the dolphins could see and so I did venture below for that demonstration. That is a great way to see just how Winter is without her tale.

It was a great visit as always. We ended up getting a membership so I expect that I will visit often to check in on the animals. I find the entire experience peaceful and serene. I've already decided that I shall come back as a dolphin in my next life.

We ended the trip by putting the three girls into a hurricane, category 1 simulator because...doesn't everyone want to experience that?

And then we took the trolley back to the exhibit area. Joyce joined Harry Connick Jr. on patrol while the rest of it called it a day. Tom grilled steaks and shrimp on the grill and we ate and drank and talked before hugging our South Carolina cousins good-bye. Until next time!

Part II - Center for Great Apes

The sanctuary is inconspicuous, hidden in a forest of green trees behind black fencing. We would have passed right by it if it weren't for the GPS. A dirt road through the woods led to a worn, grassy parking area that was packed. Outside the open gates, a line of people stood single file to get inside. We parked and got out, collecting our backpacks and items as we went. Standing outside the van in the wooded forest clearing, Joyce looked at my bottle of sunscreen and remarked that we should have changed that out for bug spray back at the gas station. We took a poll to make sure no one was pregnant since the woods seemed a breeding ground for the zika carrying mosquito, and then we headed toward the gates.

Outside the gates was a table set up for anyone bringing gifts for the occupants. Evie set about filling out her form for the bucket of toys and sidewalk chalk that she had brought for Pebbles. The volunteer asked her a lot of questions about her love for orangutans and she answered each one of them ending her sentences with "yes sir". Ah, the south. I remember it well when I lived in North Carolina.

Darcy: "Aren't we in the south? You didn't teach us to talk like that."
Me: "I failed."

While Evie was filling out her form and Mandy was registering I noticed I had blood on my phone. I looked down at my finger and it was bloody too. I followed Joyce who was heading back to the van. Joyce pointed out blood on my skirt. We both thought that was weird since my finger didn't seem to have much blood on it. I washed that off and discovered a tiny cut. To exam it better, I pulled my glasses off of the top of my head to see the cut and discovered three, bright, red droplets of blood on my glasses. For a moment I had visions of a dead body or an orangutan above me angled in the trees dripping blood down only on me. I think Joyce had some visions of her own as we both slowly looked up and around the woods. We decided my finger was the culprit.

Everyone was inside the gates when we got back. A nice woman at the tables of merchandise lined up at the entrance took me into one of the buildings and got me a band-aid and an alcohol wipe to clean my finger. The building was full of volunteers all talking and putting together giant plates of cookies. No one noticed my bloody skirt.

I joined the others and we set off down the pathway to an area that was cordoned off with tents, chairs, and a stage where musicians where playing. There were probably about 200 people there. It was like sitting in the middle of a rain forest in Costa Rica is what I thought when I found a seat way in the back.The head of the sanctuary, the woman who started it all, Patty Ragan appeared on stage and gave us all the history of the sanctuary. She volunteered in Indonesia years ago caring for orangutans which led to her being asked to care for a baby orangutan at a tourist attraction in Miami where she lived. When she had a hard time trying to find a home for the baby she decided she would open a sanctuary herself and she did. She purchased 15 acres of the wooded tropical habitat in the southern rural town and began accepting orangutans and chimpanzees from research facilities and from the entertainment industry. The sanctuary has grown to include 100 acres and each animal has tons of freedom and area to roam and play. Her baby orangutan, Pongo, is still living at the sanctuary today.

She ask that we not post pictures of any of the animals on social media. Her reason was the backlash the sanctuary receives when animal rights activists see pictures of the caged animals. Our pictures, of course, could not capture the enormity of their structures and give a true picture of the life they have. We were allowed to take pictures, but I'm respecting her wishes in not posting them as it makes perfect sense. Instead I'll post the pretty foliage.

 

Patty sent us on our way to explore the sanctuary. We were armed with maps and there were tons of volunteers along the pathways. The orangutans are in one area and the chimpanzees are in another. Some orangutans are coupled with each other having found companionship and/or true love and some are not. There are twelve three story structures that are attached to air conditioned buildings that the apes can go into, and do, to sleep at night or stay warm in the winter. Each structure has a dome shaped play area with swinging vines (fire hoses), toys, tires, climbing structures, etc. Attached to these play areas are elevated chutes that run through the forest and allow the animals to run around "freely" exploring. They liked to watch the crowds of people coming by and the volunteers told us they love to follow them and the staff around the area while in their chutes.

The place was quite impressive. It was quite large and the animals seemed to have more than enough space and areas to play. Some of the orangutans were happy to entertain us while others opted to stay far away. Volunteers were everywhere to answer questions and to show us how they work with the animals so that they can care for them medically or physically. We watched Jam, the first orangutan who welcomed us maneuver a frozen treat through his bars with his hands and fingers. It was like watching a human as he went about it in the exact same way any human would have done. The sheer size of them was intimidating, but their bodies so like our own.

Some of them were from research facilities. Some of them were from the entertainment industry. Some of them were once someone's pet. Michael Jackson's chimpanzee Bubbles lives there as once did the ape from Clint Eastwood's movie Every Which Way But Loose.  We found Evie's Pebbles who was quite entertaining. She was sitting on top of a tube and she worked very hard at getting the volunteer's attention. She could see the treats the volunteer had hidden behind a tree and she wanted them. She pursed her lips and made noises. She spit. She called. She blew bubbles. The more people laughed the harder she worked. The volunteer gave her Gatorade from a huge jug. At one point Pebbles got off the tube and found a small rubber tube that she stuck through the bars. She made her razzing noises until the Gatorade jug was offered and then she stuck the tube into the jug and drank from the rubber tube like a straw. Evie was thrilled.

We spent considerable time studying and watching Pebbles. Eventually we saw every orangutan and moved on to the chimpanzees. We got to visit most of them before the rain came. A great number of them came from the entertainment industry. While the animals are small and fun from birth to about five years old they double in size after that weighing in over 250 pounds. Suddenly they aren't so easy to train or handle. Most end up in sad situations or dumped at sanctuaries with little to no money donated for their care. It costs the Center for Great Apes $100,000 a month to care for all of the animals so Evie's donation is appreciated. The volunteer in front of Bubbles told us that Michael Jackson did not leave any money in his will for the care of his once beloved companion, but that LaToya Jackson did give the center a pair of her shoes to be auctioned off. So far no one had bid on them.

Mandy: "What size are they?"

If it hadn't been for the rain we would have spent more time wandering, but the rain was just starting to come down in sheets and so we made a few keepsake purchases and drove home. All of us agreed it had been not only an educational experience, but an eye opening and entertaining one.

Favorite Thing at the Center:

• Macie - "The chimpanzees when they were screaming."
• Joyce - "I really enjoyed Pebbles."
• Darcy - "Mandy's reaction to the chimp who stomped on the floor and started shrieking."
• Evie - "PEBBLES!"
• Me - "Watching Mandy ask the volunteers tons of questions and her reactions to the answers"
• Mandy - "I loved watching the orangutans watching us and wondering what was going on in their little minds. I loved watching the girls reactions to Pebbles. I loved Pebbles and how much of a comedian she was. I loved watching these animals be so human-like with their reactions and such. It was just great."

More information and photos of The Center for Great Apes can be found HERE.

Part I of our orangutan adventure

My cousin, Mandy, who resides in South Carolina has two daughters who enjoy animals. The youngest, Evie, read about orangutans in a Ranger Rick magazine over a year ago and was hooked. She asked if she could adopt one and so her mother set about to find a reputable rescue center that wouldn't just take their money and run. She found one in The Center for Great Apes Sanctuary in Wachula, Florida. Evie chose an orangutan named Pebbles via the website of photographs and descriptions and began sending money every month from her mother's purse allowance and such.

Macie: "Pebbles was picking her nose in the picture and that's why we liked her."
Evie: "Orangutans are endangered. Pebbles is the youngest female at the sanctuary and she likes to wrap her blankets around her like a scarf."

During the week of the girl's spring break, Mandy received a card in the mail from the center inviting them to a "Donor's Day" where all the sponsors could come into the sanctuary and see the animals and see what the center does and where their money goes. Since Mandy had a few days off, and since she knew I lived in Florida, because she was tired of hearing Evie ask to visit Pebbles, she thought a trip to Florida for "Donor Day" sounded like an adventure.

Mandy: "So I went into the room and discussed this with my husband, but all I got from him was a bunch of, "What? Where? Why? Apes? Why? What?" So I told him he was out and my mother was in and so Joyce and the girls and I are coming to Florida."

When Mandy called me to tell me they were coming I got online to see where the sanctuary was located in Florida. Hearing her description, and her girls' excitement, and reading about the place online I knew this was an adventure that I had to be a part of and so I jumped on the orangutan bandwagon.

We set off early Saturday morning from The Condo in Mandy's van. Joyce and Mandy were in the front, Darcy and I were in the middle, and Evie and Macie were in the back. Tom had wanted to tag along as he loves my relatives, but the thought of driving two hours south in a car full of women had him rethinking that and he opted to stay at home with his dog. We didn't miss him.

We played a car riding game that Darcy taught us which was along the lines of Concentration. We had to say we were going on a picnic and we were bringing something starting with A in the alphabet and we had to work our way to Z always remembering what the people had said prior to our turn. I learned two new vocabulary words by playing this game. Marcie brought a Narwhal to the picnic. I had no idea what a narwhal was and had to look it up. It is a toothed porpoise that has a protruding tusk that grows from the upper lip and gives it its name, "Unicorn of the Sea". You can read about narwhals here if, like me, you have no idea what the hell they are.

The other vocabulary word came from Mandy who brought "quince" to her picnic. Again, I had no idea what the hell this was and looked it up. It is the pear like shaped fruit from a tree in central Asia that is used for making jams and jellies.

Me: "I feel like this is such an educational trip. Connie would be proud."

Then to show that I could offer up my own educational information, I pointed out all of the cows that we were seeing as we drove into the middle of nowhere. There were black cows, and brown cows, and spotted cows. Some were standing. Some were lying down. The day was an overcast Florida day where sometimes it spit rain and sometimes it just looked like it would.

Me: "Do you see those cows over there? Did you know that when cows are standing up it means that the day will be a nice and sunny day? And that when they are lying down on the grass or sitting that it means the day will be overcast and raining?"
Macie: "What does it mean when some of them are standing and some of them are sitting like those cows we just passed?"
Me: "It means that some of them are tired."
Mandy: "Did you learn that from cousin Russ?"
Me: "That I did!"

As we drove we realized that there was nothing on either side of us but fields, orange trees, and cows. Darcy said it reminded her of the time we got lost in Ireland with Tom freaking out. Mandy kept mentioning that at some point she was going to need gas and so I got out my phone to check my "Around Me" app. Unlike my daughter, I had two bars on my phone and my app told me that the Duette Country Store was our one and only place within miles to get gas. Sure enough we happened upon it not three minutes later.

Mandy pulled in right next to the pumps and we all stared at them through the window. 

Mandy: "Darn it, there isn't a credit card place to swipe."

Joyce: "Somehow that doesn't surprise me."

Me: "Do we even believe that there is gas in those things?"

Darcy: "This doesn't look like a place where we should get out of the car."

Joyce had to go to the bathroom and so she hopped out first and went into the Duette Country Store which looked very nice from our positions safely in the car. She wasn't in there two seconds before she came striding out. (picture below, behind Mandy in the blue shirt)

Mandy got out after assuring us her judo skills were top notch to also go into the store to pay for the gas we hoped would be pumpable from those ancient pumps. She asked Joyce where she was going and Joyce replied that the bathrooms were behind us and not inside the store.

The rest of us immediately decided we could hold it until we reached Wachula. Mandy came back out and assured us the locals were friendly and so the rest of us got out and went inside. We bought some drinks and looked around some and then headed back to the car that was now full of gas. Mandy said she was braving the toilets and she headed toward them as Joyce came out.

Joyce: "I would use the one on the right. It has the least amount of flies"

Mandy decided she too could hold it after examining the restrooms and we headed back on the road. After many more miles of greenery and cows we came to the town of Wachula. The population of Wachula is a little over 4,000 people and it reminded us all of some southern Indiana towns with its square and one mile of "town".

Mandy pulled over at a gas station because she had to pee because she thought we needed some substance in our bellies before we hit the sanctuary.

All of us stumbled out of the car and went into the gas station store. We used the bathroom, chatted up the female cashier, and searched high and low for "items of substance".

Mandy - Peanut butter crackers, banana

Cara - Loaf of bread, jar of peanut butter, tea, cheetos

Joyce - Cheetos

Darcy - Peanuts "Because Mandy said peanuts and bananas and I listened".

Macie/Evie - Cheetos

I made sandwiches for most of us and we consumed them in record time while Mandy followed the GPS to the sanctuary. The invitation she had received stated that 600 people would be in attendance, but we weren't too worried that would be the case as we drove through the middle of nowhere. Boy, were we wrong. Who knew so many people loved orangutans?