All this for only a $

The start of school also brought back my weekly outing with my friend SueG.  She works the night shift at the children's hospital so she sleeps during the day.  She has two days off in a row and we get together on the second day, which changes weekly.  Sometimes we get pedicures.  Sometimes we run errands.  Sometimes we see a movie.  We always sneak in some food time.

This week we ran errands in her new car, enjoying the scent of a freshly untainted vehicle.  I was the one that needed to run the errands.  She was my chauffeur.  I laid out the places that I needed to get to and she decided the route that would be most efficient and that would take us to a good place to have lunch.  One of the places I needed to shop at was the Dollar Store and so she pulled in to one that I had never even seen before let alone shopped in.  It turned out to be the biggest Dollar Store we had ever seen.  It was like the Sam's Club of Dollar Stores.  I needed only one item, but of course left with a bag full of things I didn't need.  One of the items was this:

It was near the front by the cash register in that spot that is placed there to entice idiots just like me.  The one that shouts, "Hey, checking out?  You don't want to do that with out putting this little baby in your basket!"  So I stopped, looked, touched, and put in my basket with the rationale of, "Hey, let's try this.  If it doesn't work I can always blog about it! And all for only a dollar!"

I got home with the steaming ball, but the laundry in my dryer was already done.  I decided to try it anyway.  I filled the ball up with water as the directions stated.  It was hard to know when the ball was full because the sponge inside of it kept soaking up the water, but water was also dripping out of the various holes in the ball.

These are the two shirts that I had already dried.  I put them back into the dryer with the steaming ball now full of water.

turned on the machine and wandered off to play farmville explore other possibilities.

When the dryer announced it was finished this was the result.  Hmmm...not so bad, but not exactly looking like a fresh iron had just been run over it.  I decided to try again.

I put in this pair of pants which had also been dried in the dryer.  Very wrinkly shorts that I must iron if I don't want to look like I just rolled out of bed.

Here is what happened with the steaming ball.  Again, not bad, but not perfect.  I give the device a B-.  I shall try it again this time in a load full of wet clothes.  Perhaps there is a difference?  All in all not bad for a buck!

I can see the light

Lowe's employee:  "Are you finding everything you need?"

Me:  "Actually no.  I'm looking for a corner shelf."

LE:  "Follow me."

He turned about face and marched off and I followed as directed.  We entered a darkened aisle and halfway down he stopped and swept his arm to the side like one of the girls on the Price Is Right.  High up on a display board nestled into the corner were four corner shelves of various sizes and colors.  I had to tilt my head back far enough that it rested on my shoulders to see them.

LE:  "We have 3 to choose from.  White, white, and glass.  Oh, sorry, four."

Me:  "Yeah.  I think all of them are too big.  You see I need to hang a light."

LE:  "What kind of light?"

Me:  "Well, it's not a light to see by it's a Steelers light."

LE:  "What happened to the Bucs?"

Me:  "They're blacked out." (A little local humor which he enjoyed)  "It's a decorative light for my new Steelers Room, and I was going to hang it in the corner above my desk so I thought the easiest way would be to bang a nail into the corner and hang it.  So I used the largest nail we had and banged it into the wall, but when I went to hang the light the two sides butted up against the two walls and it didn't quite catch on the nail."  I demonstrated against a wall.  "And now there is a hole in the wall which I need to hide so my husband doesn't see.  So really, I'm thinking all I need is one bigger nail instead of a $23 shelf."

LE:  "Yeah.  Uh.  No.  I wouldn't recommend that method.  A shelf would be better."

Me:  "Really?  But these shelves aren't the right color."

LE:  "Black isn't the right color for the Steelers?"

Me:  "That isn't black."

LE:  "The fourth shelf is black."

Me:  "Okay, hard to tell in this light, but I'll take your word for it, but it's too big.  Well, maybe not the one way up there.  But it's white.  I don't want white.  Well, maybe white would work.  And it's only $10 so maybe I should just buy that and take it home and see how that works because I could always bring it back, right?"

LE:  "Right.  Try it and see.  At the very least it will cover the nail hole so your husband doesn't see that."

I brought the $10 white shelf home and decided it would work with the white around the windows, but when I opened everything and started reading the directions I thought the screws were too long.  They were longer than the nail I had banged into the wall earlier.  And the directions wanted me to use drywall anchors the same length.  And my desk is butt up against the corner I want to hang the shelf and therefore a pain to try to get to.  I gave the job to the husband.

Tom:  "This is the shelf?  Where do you want it?"

Me:  "I want it right here.  I have marked the area with pencil.  See it?"

Tom:  "I see you left a hole in the wall."

Me:  "Yep.  That's why I want the shelf right here because then when I put this light on the shelf you won't see that hole in the wall."

Countdown to NFL Football

Football season has slowly begun creeping into the consciousness with preseason games where second, third and sometimes fourth strings getting a shot at loosening up the limbs and shaking off the cobwebs.  To do the same in preparation for my football pool I have begun slowly reading sports news sites in order to fill my head with useless information that might allow me some leverage over the others.  Here are my top 5:

1. This video from the Seattle Seahawks is entertaining to anyone that has tried the old snake in a container joke.  I read the accompanying article first so I knew to expect that quarterback Matt Hasselbeck would take matters into this own hand.  As I watched the video play out, in between my giggling, I concluded that this team would either do well this year as a team that jokes together plays well together or that this team wouldn't do well as they weren't concentrating enough on serious issues like how to kill the other team.  After watching the entire video the only thing I believe is that the team cut out the part where Matt Hasselbeck peed his pants and instead took two with the cut that made it into the official vid.
2. The punter for the New York Giants, Jeff Feagles, for some reason has taken it upon himself to accuse former teammate Plaxico Burress of stealing his number 17.  Players coming into the league often want a certain number and when that number is already being used it can be purchased for, apparently something as mundane as paying for a family vacation to Florida, as Feagles received the first time he sold a number.  According to Feagles, he wanted Burress to pay for some construction on his house which Burress agreed to but never followed through with.  Considering that this took place in 2005 and that Burress is no longer in the NFL but in jail serving out a two year sentence for shooting himself in the thigh brandishing an unregistered firearm, this tells me that this team hasn't gotten its shit together yet.  What with Eli Manning getting stitches in the first preseason game and Feagles whining about something that occurred five years ago, not to mention that he's whining about it while the accused can't get to him, I'm putting this team at the bottom of the heap. 
3. I watched Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco on last season's Dancing with the Stars, and I must say that I got a better picture of the man.  While I enjoyed him on DWTS I saw about three minutes of his reality show and quickly disapproved of him once again as all good Steelers fans should do with any Cincinnati player.  Now the overbearing-I-am-this-team Ochocinco has welcomed his fellow reality star friend Terrel Owens (him of the sharpie incident which I secretly enjoyed) to his team.  Apparently the two are getting along like two girls playing Barbie dolls, with Ochocinco referring to the two as "Batman and Robin", with Ochocinco in the role as the sidekick.  While I am a tad suspicious of all this heartwarming love fest, I know that it is still preseason.  I have a feeling that come the first game as soon as one gets more balls we will be seeing a little more I'm-gonna-rip-your-Barbie-doll's-hair-out-of-her-head behavior.  When that happens I expect the team to start slowly unraveling at the seams, but in the meantime I'm keeping my eye on them.
4. The Jets are featured this season on HBO's Hard Knocks and apparently coach Rex Ryan didn't have a problem with the editing done by the producers.  Where other teams got final say in what was broadcast and obviously vetoed a few things the Jets are quite okay with footage of Ryan dropping the Fbomb every 3 seconds or so, earning him a reproach from former coach Tony Dungy.  I have never seen the show, not having premier cable channels, but what I'm hearing is that the Jets have allowed quite a few questionable things to play out on the show.  Again, like the video above, viewers are seeing what the Jets want viewers to see.  The question is are they just plain egotistic idiots or are they messing with the public?  While Ryan had a good run last year and talks a good game this year I'm not so sure this man can stay upright with all the stress and drama.  Does anyone but me think coaches need to look like they could run the length of a football field?
5. Now the NFL wants to add two games to the season and take away two games in the preseason.  Bottom line is that the NFL owners aren't making the bucks.  People don't want to pay the full price to see a bunch of no names play against a bunch of no names.  The owners figure that if they replace those games with two regular season games which fans do want to see then the problem is solved.  Only the players aren't interested in any of it except for dropping two preseason games to limit the chances of them getting hurt before the regular season even starts.  While this doesn't really help in my assessment of the coming season I find it all a colossal waste of time.  The owners are all about making money.  If that weren't the case then preseason game tickets would cost $10 or better yet be free.  The franchise players and most of the first stringers aren't going out to give it their all in the preseason because they know they're playing come day one of the regular season. Shouldn't everybody be working out the whole concussion situation instead of this hoo haw?

Still working on the problem

Yesterday I was told I do not have colon cancer.  The polyps that were removed and looked a tad shady weren't even pre-cancerous.  They were all benign.  All the tests ruled out Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, IBS, parasites, viruses, bacteria toxins, E Coli and Salmonella.  I do have a small hiatal hernia, reflux, and diverticulosis/diverticulitis.  I got to see the films of my intestines, stomach, and esophagus.  I viewed the lovely photos of the small diverticulosis and the hiatal hernia and while I won't be putting them in a photo album I did find them quite fascinating.

While we still don't know why I'm having the voiding (voiding is my new word instead of diarrhea, which makes people nervous) every morning we are attempting to fix it by trying several different methods over the next six weeks.  In the meantime my doctor handed me two sheets of paper on diets for diverticulosis and hiatal hernias.  I took them home and began reading the information determined to change my eating diets.  Only problem I found was the food I should be eating for the hiatal hernia is the same food I should be avoiding for the diverticulosis and vice versa.  A dilemma to say the least.

• Hiatal hernia:  In the food group of breads, cereals and grains I should be eating whole grain foods, pastas, and crackers.  I should be avoiding granola, biscuits, muffins, pancakes, waffles, any foods prepared with cream, and cheese.  Diverticulosis:  In this food group it is pretty much the same in eating whole grain breads and cereals and avoiding breads with seeds (rye, sesame, poppy, sunflower).

• Hiatal hernia:  In the fruit category I should be eating fresh, frozen, canned or dried but avoiding all citrus fruits and juices such as grapefruit, oranges, pineapples.  Diverticulosis:  In the fruit category here I should be eating high fiber foods such as oranges, grapefruit, apples, bananas, cherries, grapes, etc.

• Hiatal hernia:  In the veggie group I am to eat fresh, frozen, canned or dried as well as all types of potatoes.  I should avoid tomatoes, broccoli, brussel sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower, garlic, cucumber and fried potatoes.  Diverticulosis:  I should eat broccoli, brussel sprouts, cabbage, peas, carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, baked beans, etc. and avoid tomato seeds, corn and popcorn.

Other things I am to avoid are fats, milkshakes, coffee, tea, caffeine, chocolate, fried meats, cheeses, lunch meat, gravy, cakes, pies, cookies, candy, doughnuts, ice cream, and anything that is delicious and fattening.

I'm given myself about three days without these foods before I loose my mind.  I'd have to make a chart to keep it all straight when I shopped at the grocery store.  As I really only have reflux once in awhile after eating certain foods I feel like I can keep that in check by avoiding those foods I know cause a problem.  But the diverticulosis is something that comes with age and wouldn't have even been diagnosed in the first place if I wasn't having the diarrhea voiding.  Sigh.  It is also the one with the biggest lists of no no foods.  The list of all the foods that normal people indulge in daily.  But I am determined to turn this around into something positive so....I'll let you know when I've discovered what that is!

Spicing up the household

Every year for the last few years hubby Tom has planted something.  One year he planted tomatoes. One year it was roses.  One year he tried peppers and the result was outstanding.  Didn't matter what type of pepper he planted the thing just grew and produced peppers.

Not only that but the plant thrived in the are in front of our house in an area one wouldn't think anything would grow.  So the next year he planted three pepper plants.  We had so many peppers of various spiciness that I thought I would have to open a Mexican restaurant or sell salsa from my front yard.  This year he decided one pepper plant was enough and he also planted three different spices.  The spices died in the heat, but the peppers?  The peppers are going strong.

At first the plant produced one pepper.  Tom ate it.  Then it produced another pepper.  He ate that one.  Then the plant gave out two peppers and Tom passed those around.  He claims some of the peppers are hot.  Some of the peppers are not.  So he loves to hand someone a pepper and tell them to try it.  My poor sister-in-law Susan, not wanting to believe Tom could be so cruel and wanting to show her support for his farmerhood, tried a pepper.  It was so hot her mouth burned for an hour afterward.  (Or so she said that was the reason for downing the beers)

Now the pepper plant has gone wild.  We have had rain and heat and the pepper plant is producing at a rate faster than we have people to eat them.  Tom brought these in the other day and for the past three days they have sat on my counter.  What in the world am I to do with all of these itty bitty peppers that might or might not be hot?

Email Box Humor

From my friend Robin...

Why Men are never depressed:

1. Their last name never changes.
2. The garage is theirs.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. They can do their nails with a pocket knife.
6. They can never be pregnant.
7. They can wear a white t-shirt to a water park.
8. They can wear NO shirt to a water park.
9. Car mechanics tell them the truth.
10. The world is their urinal.
11. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
12. A week of vacation only requires a carry on.
13. If someone forgets to invite them, he or she is still their friend.
14. They pay $8,96 for a three pack of underwear.
15. They can Christmas shop for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes.

Another 1st day

Today the girls left me alone for another nine months.  I hate the beginning of school because it means they are gone for 8 hours of my day and I miss them terribly.  I can remember people talking about kindergarten when Madison was two and thinking how far away that was for her.  Now high school is just a year away.  Where did the time go?

Happy Birthday to the beast

Elliot is one today. I thought a look back through the past year via photos was in order.

Elliot in October the first day we paid big bucks got him.

His first toy

His first nap

His cuteness - 1

2

3

4

More naps

The cone of shame

His best buddy ever (sniff)

Some naughtiness

Swimming lessons

Innocence

Happy 1st Birthday Elliot!

The dangers of Florida

For the most part we have done nothing this summer.  I was sick and not fit for travel so we stayed home, unlike past summers.  My kids spent a lot of time watching television, playing the Wii, reading, and moping about.  They didn't even have their computers for a couple of weeks as the remodeling was in full swing.  After my first visit with the gastroenterologist we did the travel for four days to Key Largo.  I felt guilty that I hadn't been able to do more this summer.  So when the final week of vacation came I said "yes" to every invitation that was extended to the girls.

Thursday we met at the beach to visit with friends who had moved out of town two years ago.  Originally we were to only be there for two hours, but I canceled our next engagement and we opted to hang at the beach.  Several classmates were there and the girls spent all of their time in the water.  Before we left I ordered on the sunscreen.  Darcy listened.  Madison whined that she really hates to do it ahead of time because "there is the stickiness and it feels so weird on my skin" and so as soon as we landed on the sand I reminded her of the sunscreen.  Instead while I chatted with some parents at the end of the walk-way leading to the sand my daughters dumped everything they carried on the ground and ran into the gulf. I too left everything right where they had dumped it when I made my way to the spot where everyone had set up chairs.

By that time I was sweating something fierce as it is 175 degrees here in Florida so I hurried out of my cover-up and entered the 100 degree water.  I swam out to the gaggle of girls, hugged those I hadn't seen in awhile, said hello to those I had, and immediately and kindly told the girls I left their belongings at the base of the walk-way and reminded Madison that she needed to put on sunscreen.  Out they both trooped to take care of things.  They moved their things and Madison put on sunscreen all over her wet body.  When I mentioned that to her she replied, "It's waterproof."

An hour later I exited the water and sat under an umbrella reading a book.  Girls came and went getting drinks and food out of coolers, but they quickly were back into the water.  Never once did I think about reminding any of them to reapply.  My bad.  We were at the beach for five hours.  By the time we got home, showered, and met others for dinner my two girls were lobsters on their faces, shoulders, and backs.  It was painful looking.  By the time dinner was over my entire face was a lobster except where I had worn my huge sunglasses.  I looked like an idiot - in more ways than one.

The next day we had accepted an invite to head to Adventure Island, a water park north of us.  Against my better judgment, we went.  I made both girls wear shirts, lather up, and I gave Madison my hat to wear once we arrived and I saw her face in the sunlight.  Kelly, who had the two younger girls, made sure to check in at our station to reapply.  Madison and her friend did the same.  I sat mostly in shady spots all over the park as the sun moved, but occasionally I lounged in the lazy river, the wave pool, and the cliff diving pool hoping to get some coolness.  We were there for a little under 5 hours.  By the time we got home, showered, and sat down to dinner we didn't look any better than we had the night before.  Main difference was my forehead was burned this time as I hadn't a hat and Madison's sunburn was now blistering under her eyes and her chin.

She and her pal looked up sunburn on the Internet and gave each other an oatmeal facial.  By this morning her face was worse, her throat was sore, and she ached all over.  My daughter had sun poisoning.  She tried to be a warrior, but by late afternoon she was in bed.  I gave her Tylenol and water to hydrate her.  Tom bought her some aloe.  Darcy fixed her some pasta and jello and brought it to her on a tray.  She promptly fell asleep by early evening.

School starts in two days.  All of the teachers saw both my girls' lobster faces on Friday before the Adventure Island visit.  One teacher jabbed me from hello with, "Nice job seeing that your kids were lathered up with sunscreen."  Imagine the label I'll have when I have to call her in sick for sun poisoning or worse when she goes to school with blisters all over her face.  Her father blames her for not taking care of her own body.  She lives in Florida she knows what is expected.  I, of course, blame myself.  I will blame myself if she ends up with skin cancer.  I am going out tomorrow and purchasing bags and bags of sunscreen.  I will put sunscreen in their backpacks and their lunchboxes.  It will go in their underwear drawers, in the bathroom drawers, and I shall hang cans from each door that leads to the outside.  No way will this be allowed to occur again.

Mothers - sunscreen up those innocent. lily white faces and bodies.  NOW.

Her grandmother's blood flows in her veins

When I was a kid I was a saver.  Every dollar I made from allowance, babysitting, and birthdays went into a piggy bank or a drawer and sat there.  Eventually my mother got us savings accounts and all my money went into that.  As I got older I had to use that money for some things, but mostly the money just kept building up in my bank account.  My older daughter is very much me.  She still has gift cards from a year ago sitting in her purse.  She agonizes over each purchase and whether or not she really needs it.  My other daughter?  Not anywhere close to us.

Darcy spends her money as soon as it hits her palm.  From the moment she earns a dollar she is asking to head to Target.  Once there she purchases things that she doesn't need that usually end up in her father's trashcan on one of his crazy rants through the house.  If she didn't have me snatching money out of her hand and seeing that it gets into her savings account at the bank, the kid wouldn't have a dollar to her name.

This past week she announced that she needed an IPod Touch.  She haaaaaaaddddd to have an IPod Touch.  "I have wanted one for soooooooo long," she told me.  Could she please go to the bank and withdrawl HER money so she could buy one?  I reminded her that she could have purchased one with all her birthday money and the money she earned over the summer and wasn't it a shame that she had blown it all on more Barbies and silly things?  She acknowledged that this was so, but why dwell on that fact when she had more money sitting in the bank?

I made her a deal.  When she had saved up half of the money for the IPod Touch then I would allow her to withdrawl the other half from the bank.  The cost of one was $195.00 at Walmart and Target.  She took the deal and I figured that was the end of that.  We were a good half a year away from heading to the bank.  Boy, was I wrong.

From the moment I made the deal that kid began wheeling and dealing.  She did some work for Tom and was paid.  She offered to loan money to us if we paid interest.  She talked Kelly into paying for some spa treatments that she was offering up.  Pedicure, manicure, facial?  Pay the piper.  She reminded everyone that owed her money exactly how much she loaned them and that the time had come to pay up.  She embraced getting her teeth pulled because that meant the tooth fairy was stopping by with some goodies.  She kept her room clean and volunteered for laundry, trash and dishwasher duty to earn her allowance.  She did her summer homework.  She researched and found that Staples sold the IPod Touch for $185.  It took her less than a week to raise the money.

I had wanted her to learn something from saving.  I had wanted her to sweat and agonize over saving up for something she desperately wanted.   I tried to delay taking her to the bank, but her lawyer sister reminded me that a deal is a deal and Darcy had kept her end of it.  I took her to the bank yesterday and then on to Staples where she purchased her IPod Touch.

From  now on I'm looking to her when I need cash!

Out of the mouths of my babes

Me:  "Darcy stop squeezing that bag of foam.  What are you doing?"

Darcy:  "I'm giving it the Heimlich Remover!"

Putting up my Fathead

Several weeks ago I put up my Troy Polomalu fathead that my friend Kelly gave me for my birthday last year.  He has been rolled up in a mailing container in the corner of my bedroom.  Once the Steelers room began taking shape he was taken out of the box and looked at before we read the directions that said, "Wait 30 days after painting before applying your Fathead to the wall."  Back in the container Troy went to lounge in a corner of the Steelers room.

Finally the 30 days came and went.  I made plans to stick Troy on the wall.  Kelly asked if I knew where I had put the instructions.  That got me thinking and a day later I found said instructions and began reading the explicit directions:  Say Hello To Your Fathead.  Now Listen Up!

1. Find Me a Room With a View - I was created to be the center of attention - to live where your world can see me in all my glory!  The chart at the bottom details the best surfaces for my adhesive.  Plan was to put Troy on the main wall of the Steelers room which will be and has been our world for some time as our computers and the girls' play things are in that room.  Chart includes painted drywall.  Check!
2. Borrow an Extra Set of Hands - If you're installing a life-size Fathead wall graphic, an extra set of hands will really come in handy.  One good friend should do the trick.  Called Kelly to let her know she was needed, but when the day came she opted to swim in the pool with Darcy and it got too late to apply Troy.  Madison filled in for the good friend part.  Check!
3. Measure Twice.  Stick Once. - Don't be shy with the tape measure.  I am repositionable, but the sooner you have me where you want...the sooner you can show me off.  Madison measured while I stood around rolling my eyes.  I have the ability to see that things will fit on a wall perfectly.  Madison reminded me of my reading the directions rule and thus I allowed her to measure.  Troy would fit.  Check!
4. Clean My New Home - Use a warm damp cloth and a dab of elbow grease - DO NOT USE SOAP or cleaning agents!  Allow the wall to dry completely.  I had painted the wall 35 days ago and didn't feel cleaning was necessary.  Also was afraid the paint might just peel off with a cleaning.  Felt this rule didn't apply to us.  Check!
5. Peel & Stick - Unroll me all the way.  I need up to an hour to lay flat and relax.  Then, starting from the top, carefully peel me from my backing and apply me to my new home.  If you make a mistake, gently peel me off and reposition me in the new location.  Keep the backing for storage purposes in case you want to move me to a different wall later.  Okay, I'm thinking that this direction needs to be closer to the top say maybe somewhere next to the wait 30 days after painting instruction.  What if you have your good friend to help you for only 30 minutes?  Then you get to this direction and oh, sorry, good friend but we have to wait an hour while Troy relaxes.  Luckily I read this instruction more than once over the course of several days and I was prepared to unroll Troy and wait an hour.  He relaxed for 8 hours before we remembered him.  We followed the directions and slapped him on the wall.  Check!
6. Smooth Moves Me - Use the squeegee provided to smooth out any wrinkles and bubbles until I look like myself again.  Start from the middle and work your way out to my edges.  This was what Madison was looking forward to, but we did such a professional job from the get-go following these instructions that there weren't any bubbles to squeegee.  Check!
7. Share the Love - Your friends are going to dig me.  Invite them over for a peep.  Throw a bash!  Only direction we didn't follow.  I've had people over for a peep, but not thrown any bashes quite yet.  Not until the room is pulled together and completely finished.  Still to do!

Troy spent a couple of weeks in his first position before we rearranged the room and moved him over to the other end of the wall.  This time Madison was able to work the squeegee as he had quite a few bubbles that needed working out.  But he still moved easily and went right back on easily.  In fact he looks so good on the wall and makes the room come alive that I'm thinking I really need a teammate for him.  To keep him company when I'm not around.  Fathead if you're looking for a room warming gift for me us.

Learning from another's blog

My friend Kelly over at Make a little birdhouse fasted this past week and came up with some interesting results of what food means to her.  Since I have been sick I have not been able to eat like I'm used to.  In the beginning the urge to eat made me nauseous.  From there it made my stomach hurt to even look at or taste food.  After that I craved salty foods, but not the results after I ate them.  Finally I was told to go back to bland foods and that just wore me out wondering which foods fit that category.  Bottom line is my stomach has shrunk and I rarely eat more than two meals a day.

After reading and listening to Kelly's tale of fasting I went to dinner last night at Chili's.  It was quite late, 8:30 PM, and my new health regime is that I shall not eat after 8:00 PM due to my hiatal hernia.  But Tom and Darcy hadn't eaten (Madison was at a birthday party) and so I went with them intending to eat a cup of soup.  Unfortunately, the only soups on Chili's menu are spicy ones and hello, hiatal hernia, not allowed spicy foods, especially past my time deadline.  I perused the menu and finally decided on a house salad and mashed potatoes.  When the waiter came to take our order Darcy and Tom opted for my favorite appetizer ever at Chili's:  skillet chili con queso dip with salsa and chips.  I decided against the mashed potates.

The appetizer came and we all dug in.  I went slow afraid of what this would do to be later while trying to sleep.  It's not that I have tons of heartburn and reflux, but now knowing that I have this hernia and reflux I'm trying to change my diet habits.  I dipped the chip just a tad into the con queso and salsa.  Same with the next one and the next one and the next one.  I chewed slowly and talked to Tom.  My salad came and if there were five pieces of lettuce in there I would be shocked.  It was a sad salad, but then again it was a side dish.  I ate it in four bites.  We ordered another basket of chips to finish the dips.  I helped myself to a few more.  Then I told myself I was done.

And here is where this story ties in with Kelly's.  While I sat chatting with the family I had to keep my hands folded.  I drank more of my blackberry iced tea then I wanted.  I played with the tomatoes I didn't touch in my salad bowl.  I realized I wanted to keep eating the chips and dips.  My mouth wanted to taste that cheesy goodness on its tongue.  It wasn't that I was hungry.  In fact I wasn't hungry at all.  I wasn't hungry when we came into Chili's.  I just wanted to eat because there wasn't anything else to do while everyone else was finishing up their meals!  I too eat from boredom.  I too eat because my hands don't know what else to do with themselves.  Food isn't really important to me except in a way that it isn't intended to be.  Interesting.

I kept myself from sticking my face into the basket and devouring it all.  I didn't lick the con queso skillet or drink from the salsa bowl.  I tried keeping my hands in my lap.  I discussed the theory with Tom.  I sweated through it until we were ready to leave.  Once we were gone I was good.  Out of sight out of mind.  I didn't eat again until late the next morning.  I'm not sure how this will affect my new health kick.  It will be interesting to see which foods are triggers like the con queso dip.  I'm just glad I didn't have to fast a week to discover this, although I'm not sure my way was much better....

Extra photos from vacation 2

Darcy exhausted from eating?

Madison makes her move

In the women's restroom at a pit stop.  I knew questions would be coming once Darcy exited!

Ted enjoys some ice cream

Cousins in the ocean

Maddy heading out to snorkel

Darcy's first time snorkeling

Out to dinner

This little fellow and his family lived at our hotel

And so it goes....on and on and on

For nine weeks I have had diarrhea with a few days reprieve in between.  I have seen three different doctors and been on five different medications.  The last doctor, a gastroenterologist, gave me two medications to fight traveler's diarrhea and giardia and scheduled me for a colonoscopy and an endoscopy.  The medicine seemed to be working the last three days before my procedures.  Then, of course, I had to "prep" for the colonoscopy and my reprieve went straight to hell.

I've done this before.  Nine years ago I had to have a colonoscopy because I was experiencing some rectal bleeding (if this is more than you can bare then feel free to move on now, but really people you might learn something) after two months of having the same issues I've had this year.  The results came back and I got to view the beautiful pictures of my 12 internal hemorrhoids caused by the giardia I was finally diagnosed with.  The last time I had the procedure was the day after Easter.  I had to prepare on Easter while the rest of the family was enjoying a nice lamb (ugh, gag) dinner at my mother-in-law's house.  The "prep" then consisted of several pills and the downing of a carbonated liquid.  I don't quite remember the liquid as being that awful.

This time; however, the "prep" came in a large box called moviprep.  A clever little wording for those in the know, I guess, but that was as far as the humor went because this stuff was the worst liquid I have ever let past my lips.  There were two packets, A and B, and a nice handy container with a lid.  The directions said to open packet A and pour into the container, then open packet B and pour into the container, and then fill to the fill line with lukewarm water.  Now my gastroenterologist had told me beforehand that I could mix this stuff with anything; lemonade, iced tea, sprite, but the directions on the sheet from her office and from the moviprep box clearly stated lukewarm water.  I followed the written directions because I (rightly as I found out later) assumed my gastroenterologist had never had a colonoscopy before and therefore didn't know what the hell she was talking about.

After shaking the concoction I was to pour 8 ounces of it into a glass (oz. lines provided on the container) and drink it down.  I was to do this every 15 minutes through the hour.  Then I was to drink two more glasses of any liquid I chose such as water, gatorade, lemonade, or tea.  I figured this would be a breeze.  I down water all the time.  The concoction smelled like Sprite, not a favorite of mine, but still better than smelling like ass.  I held my nose and started to down the contents in the glass.  Only problem was the consistency was like salt water.  Not water, but salt water.  Like drinking the Gulf of Mexico, only it tasted like Sprite that had been left out of the refrigerator with the lid not closed tightly.  I could not down it.  I could only take two gulps and then chase it down with water or real Sprite.  It took me 10 minutes to drink it.  That left me with 5 minutes of dread.  I kept reminding myself I was a warrior, to take one for the team.  By the fourth go-round I was on the toilet.  Surely they didn't expect you to bring that drink into the bathroom!  It took me an hour and 20 minutes to get through the "prep".  It took another hour and a half to get the "prep" through me.

That would have been fine, but unfortunately, I had to do the entire thing all over again at 6:00 AM the next morning.  That did not go well.  I'm not one to get up in the morning and start eating and drinking, let alone get up at 6:00 AM.  I did so much gagging on this stuff that I was sure it was going to come heaving back up all over the kitchen floor or on to the couch where I moved just to get a different view.  The warrior speech kept playing in my head and I tried channeling my father to get this stuff down.  By the time I was done with the entire procedure it was 8:30 AM and I worried I was past my allotted time for getting anesthesia.  So then I worried about vomiting while under anesthesia during the endoscopy.

The procedures were scheduled for 12:30 and 1:00 PM.  I was bedded and ready by 12:30, but wasn't wheeled in until 1:50 PM. I read a People magazine and the latest Sports Illustrated and chatted up the nurses that wandered by.  I listened in on the anesthesiologist's cell phone conversation and eavesdropped into the gossip of two nurses.  By the time I was wheeled into the procedure room I was ready and raring to go.  I joked around with the doctor and the nurses as they ran around putting sticky snaps on my chest and then I was told to turn on to my left side.  A plastic piece was put into my mouth and the nurse told me good-night they would see me when I woke up.  I thought, "Hmpf! Right. I won't be falling that easily."  I closed my eyes and felt a tad woozy.  I opened them and saw that the monitors were moving in waves before my eyes.  I closed my eyes again and the next time I opened them I was in recovery.  Good stuff that anesthesiologist carts around.

So far all I've found out is:

• I have a hiatal hernia
• I have reflux
• I have some diverticulitis and diverticulosis
• I have a little bit of colitis
• I had two polyps that were removed and sent off for a biopsy.  She didn't like the looks of them.
• Everything else inside was sent off for all sorts of testing.
• I am to remain on one of the medications and add prilosec to my daily regime of medications
• I am to return to see the gastro lady in a week and a half for all of the results

It has been a trying summer what with this illness, the death of a friend, and the loss of another friend to another country.  I've gotten a tad weepy thinking back on these last 2 months, but I'm determined to let it go, to stand up straight and move forward.  Lots of things have been put on the back burner while I've been ill, but now I shall work hard at getting back on task.  I'm thankful for the health I do have and for the health of my family and friends. I'm going to make sure that I reduce my stress level this school year, unfortunately not with liquor as that is a nasty side affect for those with hiatal hernias, but with exercise and a new diet.  I've gotten a jump on things with the loss of 15 lbs. (the only silver lining in the diarrhea) and I think I'll start introducing more organic foods into our diet.  I'm looking at it as a new experience.  One that I will jump into with a positive attitude.  I'm hoping it will at least last as long as this diarrhea has.  And so it goes....

Vacation 2 - Key Largo - Day 3

Our third and last day in Key Largo started out with some much needed sleep. We all met for breakfast around 9:30 AM and decided to head to Islamorada to a place called Robbie's.  A friend of mine had recommended it and Beth had researched it so off we went.  It turned out to be a very Jimmy Buffet sort of place with tiki huts full of island merchandise, live reggae music, hammocks, fishing, and boat and kayak rentals, all nestled among lush tropical landscape.

An area off to the side had tarpon feeding.  For one dollar you could enter this zone and walk out on to the boardwalk or take a turn at feeding the tarpon who were big enough to devour your hand.  I'm not sure what else was included in your dollar, but we didn't pay to find out.  Instead we signed up for another snorkeling trip.

This trip was aboard the Happy Cat with a woman captain who ordered the first mate around often and with plenty of eye rolling at what I can only assume was his incompetence.  It made for some entertainment, although the color and clarity of the water was enough while we sped out into the Atlantic.

The first place we snorkeled was quite deep.  It was at least 25 feet deep and the water was twice as choppy as the day before.  We all set off, Mary Anne included, but there really wasn't much happening under the sea.  We saw a few of the same fish we had spotted yesterday, but everything was too deep to really get a good view.  We were out for about 40 minutes and she called us in, explaining that we had another snorkeling spot to hit.

We all got back aboard and took off through the blue green water to a lighthouse in the middle of the Atlantic.  This area had a coral reef and we were encouraged to swim to the lighthouse and through it if we so desired.

We got on our equipment and off the boat in record time and hit the water. BINGO. This reef, Rainbow Reef, was the best one so far. We saw so many different types of colorful fish in schools of hundreds that would come right up to your face like a puppy wanting to be petted. We saw three parrotfish that were green, blue, orange and pink and the size of a small toddler. We saw grouper, grunts, snapper, pinfish, queen trigger fish, rainbow runners, and a number of other fish I can't name. Tom saw a nurse shark quite close to Madison, but the shark looked around and than swam off in the opposite direction.

The closer we got to the lighthouse the more fish we saw.  At one point I looked over at Tom and saw that he was surrounded by hundreds of silver pencil-like fish.  They were calmly just encircling him as if bringing him into their school.  If he put his hand out to touch them it was like a reverse magnet effect as the entire school moved a tad out of his reach.

We spent about an hour in the water snorkeling before our captain called us back to the boat.  Everyone was very excited about all the sights we had seen and so the conversation back to Robbie's was very animated as we compared sightings.

We ended our day with a meal at a cafe on a private beach. Later that night Teddy and Beth returned to Robbie's and went out on a fishing voyage until after midnight. The adults watched a movie in one room and the kids played cards and popped popcorn in the other.

The next day we drove back home again in pouring down rain.  We cooked and prepared the fish that Beth and Teddy had caught the night before and celebrated Tom's birthday.  A great ending to a great trip!