NFL Monday recap - week #8

No Steelers today as this is their bye week. Big Ben threw some this week, but he won't be back any time soon. So much for my fantasy league. Blah. A lot of good games, however, around the league this week.

Other:

• Hey, another game in England. Is this every week now? That game with the Bengals and the Redskins ended up going into overtime, and guess what? It ended in a tie just like last week. Wanna bet that the English fans felt just as cheated as the American fans on this weird new rule?
• In overtime, the Redskins had a chance with a 34-yard field goal attempt to win the game, but alas, their kicker Dustin Hopkins missed the kick after making it first while the Bengals called a time out. First, please, stop this "icing" the kicker nonsense at the last minute. Blow the whistle before the ball is snapped. Second, Hopkins, you have one job to do; kick the damn ball. 
• And still going on with this England game, the kicker missed, the ball went to the Bengals who fumbled it and lost the ball back to Washington. It was exciting overtime stuff. Unfortunately, due to NFL rules, a lot of people didn't get to see the end of the game because once 1:00 came, the network had to switch to the regularly scheduled game. Luckily, for me, I got to see it as we didn't have a local game scheduled. Nope, I missed an infomercial on nipping and tucking.
• Twenty-four penalties on the Raiders today. It was a record in the NFL. Yeah, that's a record you won't be proud to own. Jack Del Rio needs to be doing some screaming in the locker room.
• Wow. I wish I could have seen the Seattle/New Orleans game which came down to the wire, but Russell Wilson's pass to the end zone, while caught, was just a tad out of bounds, and the Seahawks went home with a loss.
• Some fan in Tampa wore a full gorilla suit and sat in it at the Bucs game. In 87 degree weather. Are people just nuts?
• Denver's defensive coordinator took a massive hit while standing on the sidelines. Phillips was hit by Chargers running back Melvin Gordon, who was pushed from behind into the Broncos sideline and right into Phillips. Phillips was moving as they carted him off the field and taken to a local hospital, but the hit was a big one, and Phillips had no time to put his hands back to break the fall. Scary moment. The Broncos have had a time with their coaches in the hospital what with head coach Gary Kubiak's hospitalization two weeks ago and now Phillips.
• Panthers Cam Newton totally went off in the post-game news conference regarding the missed hit he took below the knees. I was with him. He's right. These refs have different calls for different players, and that makes the whole "we are cleaning up the league" nonsense that the NFL bigwigs spout is, as Newton said, "bullshit."
• Kudos to Drew Carr for his big game yesterday and his win, but man, he is one scary looking guy with those eyes of his.

2016-2017 NFL picks - week #8

Tennessee over Jacksonville - Whoop!

Cincinnati over Washington - Ugh. Picked this one for the home-field advantage, but then realized these goobers would be in England. Because...yeah, why?

New England over Buffalo - Because everyone says they can't be beaten...

Jets over Cleveland - I don't think the Browns will go winless this season, but I don't see them taking the W home today.

Kansas City over Indianapolis - The Chiefs have done well at figuring things out these past few weeks, and the Colts are having WAY too many issues.

Seattle over New Orleans - The Saints are just too wishy-washy for me against a Seahawks stellar defense even at home.

Oakland over Tampa - Yes, I know the Bucs have done well the past two weeks, but now they are home. They aren't so spiffy at home as they are on the road. They might pull it off if they can keep it together, but I don't feel it this week.

Arizona over Carolina - I think the Cardinals want some points this week.

Atlanta over Green Bay - The Falcons always fall at the end of the season, but despite their last two losses, those were good games. They get a win today.

Dallas over Philadelphia - I thought the Eagles were going to be tough this year, but alas, it is the Cowboys that have everyone talking.

Minnesota over Chicago - Well, Cutler returns, but one never knows how well he wants to play until he runs out on the field. The Bears are at home, but well, I'm not sure what my thinking was on this one. I like purple?

NFL Monday recap - week #7

Steelers: The game was on television this week, and my husband, daughter, and the dog left the house so that I could enjoy it in peace...until they came back.

• Can I mention how much I hate LaGarrette Blount? He used to be a Steeler back in 2014, but he didn't like that La'Veon Bell was getting the carries, and so one day, he walked off the field before a game was finished. The Steelers released him for behavior reasons, and then he got picked up by the Patriots. The fact that he then went on to win a Super Bowl that year makes me crazy with madness, but why don't the Steelers feel this way? The fans do. They booed the hell out of him when he was on the field yesterday, but the defense? Let him just run right through them. Ugh. I thought bad guys never won.
• Penalties. Ten of them for 85 yards. What is with us in the penalty department now after starting out so well? We would have tied the score with two T.D.s apiece, but no, a holding call wiped out Heyward-Bey's Pittsburgh touchdown, and then we couldn't get into the end zone or make the field goal. 
• Back up quarterback Landry Jones, named for Dallas Cowboys Tom Landry wasn't as bad as I thought he would be. He came out with a confidence I hadn't seen in him before, and with Ben helping on the sidelines, he did respectable even after throwing an interception in the end zone at the beginning of the first quarter. One thing for sure is he had tons of time in the shotgun.
• Landry Jones has to be able to change course, however, because with Antonio Brown in the backfield running slants, Jones has to be able to see that and get him the ball. It is a Brown signature move.
• The defense tried, but they were worn out by the time the fourth quarter rolled around. So was La'Veon Bell, who had no help in the running game as De'Angelo Williams was out with inflamed knees.
• Our list of injuries is too high. Pretty soon, we won't have anyone we know in the game as they will all be watching from the sidelines. 
• In the fourth quarter, there was a lack of communication. When Jones threw the receivers were never looking in the right direction.
• My god, the love for Tom Brady from the media, is mind-boggling. At the end of the game, as Brady took a knee, Jim Nantz talked about how the Patriots have taken care of business the last three weeks against Cleveland, Cincinnati, and now Pittsburgh. Uh, yeah, they beat a team that is currently 0-7, and a team whose quarterback is out of commission, Jim.
• I will say, though, that both teams have respect for each other. It is a much better team to play than the Bengals or the Ravens.

Other: Crazy start to the football week. Mistakes galore, and it didn't get much better in the second round of games.

• Hot potato, the hot potato was the first quarter of the Minnesota/Philadelphia game. In the first three drives, there were five turnovers; interception, interception, fumble, stripped ball, and an interception. The two quarterbacks had a combined total of 36 yards with 4:36 left in the first quarter. Whoop. Woop. Whoop. Whoop. Whoop.
• Slick balls were the theme for three teams as Jacksonville's Rashad Green waiting in the backfield for Oakland's punt immediately fumbled and lost the ball. Redskins Vernon Davis had a great run, was stopped short of the goal line, fumbled the ball, and it was recovered in the end zone by the Lions. Buffalo's Tyrod Taylor, on his way into the end zone, tripped and fumbled the ball, but luckily for him, he recovered it for the T.D.
• Then there were the blind kickers. Cincinnati's Mike Nugent missed his first field goal wide right. Detroit's kicker Matt Prater missed his field goal way left, not even near the goalposts. Tennessee's Ryan Succop didn't even get his shot to miss the extra point against the Colts as place holder Brett Kern bumbled his way with the ball. Succop hopped over the ball and then tried to catch the ball from Kern, but yeah, they didn't get anywhere with that screw-up.
• Los Angeles' Casey Keenum also had his blinders on as he threw a perfect pass into the end zone to a wide-open New York Giant's Dominique Rogers-Cromartie. Whoop. Wrong team.
• Lots of celebrating in the end zone this week with the first set of games. There was dancing, strutting, bowing, and flips. There were NO flags. 
• CBS' male sideline reporter Chris Fischer's interview of Buffalo's coach Rex Ryan at half time made all of the women sideline reporters look great. He had a brain fart of some kind, swallowing his words and stuttering. He looked like a fan in awe of an idol.
• I never noticed how confusing it is to watch the Browns and the Bengals play each other when both teams are covered in orange. What? The Browns couldn't wear their brown uniforms? At the end of the first half, Andy Dalton just powered the ball down the field into the end zone on a Hail Mary, and all of that orange jumping and reaching was confusing, but whoa, how about Bengals A.J. Green bumbling that ball into his arm for the six points?
• Does anyone else feel sorry for the Browns? In this, the year of the Chicago Cubs, it makes you think maybe someday the Browns will have their moment in the sun.
• How great was Detroit's Matt Stafford's comeback in the last few seconds of the game? I love his enthusiasm and his backyard football. I don't know why I didn't draft him for my fantasy football.
• Atlanta's kicker Matt Bryant misses the F.G. with one second left on the clock. What was with the kicking today? Heartbreaking for this team at home.
• Snoozefest on Sunday night between the Seahawks and the Cardinals. It went to overtime with a score of 3-3, and guess what? Both kickers made field goals to tie the score at 6-6, and then typical for the day, both missed field goals ending the game in a tie.
• I have to say something about last week's bad boys of the league; Dolphins Ndamukong Suh and Bengals Vontaze Burfict. The Steelers filed a formal complaint last week on Suh after Ben Roethlisberger felt Suh kicked him in the knee while pushing and shoving David DeCastro. He wasn't going to get to Ben as DeCastro wasn't about to let that happen, so Suh just flung out his leg and kicked the knee. The NFL didn't feel it was intentional. Meanwhile, Burfict was busy in New England going low on tackles against Patriots LeGarrette Blount and Martellus Bennett. I've seen the tapes on all three incidents, and while it can be spun to fit either team's beliefs, let's be honest. These guys are getting away with way too much. Suh was cleared, but Burfict, who was playing after coming off a suspension for his hit last season on Steelers Antonio Brown, was fined $75,000 for "stomping" on Blount's leg. As Steelers Ramon Foster pointed out this week, "You fine Antonio Brown more for freaking dancing in the end zone..." Exactly. Roger Goodell keeps going on and on about cleaning up the league, but this kind of behavior is okay? Enough is enough, Fines don't mean much when you're raking in $20 million and more. Apparently, neither do suspensions. Kicked out of the league? That would speak volumes.

2016-2017 NFL picks - week #7

• Green Bay over Chicago - I figured the Bears away weren't capable, and I was right.

• Giants over Los Angeles - Toss-up, but New York has crazy man, deep pockets Odell Beckham Jr. and one never knows when he might explode.

• Cincinnati over Cleveland - This is one of those no brainers, or is it?

• Detroit over Washington - The Skins have started finding their groove, so this one was hard. I went back and forth, but I have a soft spot for Matthew Stafford, and the Lions are home.

• Tennessee over Indianapolis - The Colts are suffering, or I should say Andrew Luck is suffering since he spends a lot of time on the ground, and I need Marcus Mariota to throw some touchdowns since he's my back up fantasy quarterback taking over for Big Ben.

• New Orleans over Kansas City - I probably should have gone the other way on this one, but Drew Brees is, well, Drew Brees.

• Buffalo over Miami - Yes, the Dolphins played well last week, but the Steelers made it easy for them. The Bills won't.

• Baltimore over Jets - So far, picking the Ravens has made them lose so...

• Minnesota over Philadelphia - The Vikings are undefeated and coming off a bye week. Yea, I should have gone with the Eagles.

• Oakland over Jacksonville - The Raiders are up and down, but the Jags are pretty much just down.

• Atlanta over San Diego - I see the Falcons going far, they were so close last week, and they are at home. Nuff' said.

• Tampa over San Francisco - As always, the Bucs do well away, and really, who cares?

• Seattle over Arizona - Went back and forth on this one, but Pete Carroll's enthusiasm makes these players want to give back.

• Denver over Houston - I have two Broncos on my Fantasy football team so damn, they need to win.

My election rant because dammit I can't escape it

I thought I could get away without discussing politics on my blog. I really did. I took a lot of precautions regarding my opinions about this year's political scene. 

I swore off of Facebook. I refused to put myself near people who would want to argue politics. But this election year is crazy. I cannot go one day without it being shoved into my face. I bet I get at least ten phone calls a day to discuss the election. I get at least that many asking me to take a survey. This past week I've had three people show at my door to discuss and/or ask me questions about politics. And don't even get me started on the crap that fills my mailbox each afternoon. It is nuts.

First, let me start by saying that as soon as I could vote, which was a year later than my fellow classmates, I registered as a Republican. Eighty percent of my doing so, was because my mother was a staunch Republican, and twenty percent was because of my fangirling of Abraham Lincoln. 

Secondly, although I am still registered as a Republican, I am no longer a supporter of this party, at least not the party it is today. I tell people I am a Lincoln Republican, but sadly that party is kaput. 

Lastly, I am, as soon as the election is over, going to change my party affiliation to Independent. My father was registered as an Independent, and I was always in awe of that choice. I thought it very "hippy," a word that would never be associated with my father.

Because I am still registered as a Republican, as is my husband, I get the calls from that party. I feel inundated every year, all their pushing is forcing me to take a step away. 

I have called the National headquarters several times to report my mother's death. Each time the person on the other end of the phone informs me they are well aware of this information. I then inquire as to why they keep sending out letters soliciting money to a dead woman. I get something from them addressed to my mother EVERY DAY. E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y. I'm not kidding. I usually end the phone call with, "Put the amount of money you are spending on postage to dead people into your coffers," which is something my mother would, and did, say. 

Now, I open the mail, write DECEASED in black Sharpie across whatever is inside, and mail it back to them. They pay the postage. Then I say out loud, "I'm hoping to bankrupt the Republican Party," which is similar to what my mother used to say when she went into a doctor's office and told them she would take any and all tests they required because she was hoping to "bankrupt Medicare." 

I often feel she is speaking through me, and I've contemplated hiring an exorcist, but that is a blog entry for another time.

As a SAHM, I have a tendency to talk to solicitors who call me or who pop up at my door. It comes from not seeing other adults most of the day, but lately, I've not handled it well. 

Without giving out my political preferences on this blog, I HATE DONALD TRUMP WITH A PASSION, I have to discuss these surveys. Are not things black and white? On second thought, don't even think about that question because they are. Either you are, or you aren't. But these surveys can't just make it a yes or no question. Below, is a conversation I had last night via the telephone with a young Indian voice that kept cutting in and out as if a pause button were being tapped every other word:

Him: "If the Presidential candidates today were Republican Donald Trump and Democrat Hillary Clinton, would you say you were more likely to vote for Republican Donald Trump or Democrat Hillary Clinton?"

Me: "There is no "if" about it. Those are the candidates today.

Silence

Him: "If the election were held today for President, would you say you would vote for candidate Republican Donald Trump?"

Me: "No. I hate Donald Trump. I wouldn't vote for him if I was held at gunpoint. And you can quote me on that."

Him: "Would you be "highly likely," "somewhat likely," "maybe likely," highly dislikely," "somewhat dislikely," or "maybe dislikely" to vote for Presidential candidate Donald Trump?"

I should have hung up. I mean, I think my answer said it all. In the survey before this one, it was "highly favorable," "somewhat favorable," and so on regarding each candidate. The study before that one, asked for a scale with "1 being "more supportive," 2 being "somewhat supportive," 3 being "less supportive," and so on. 

A week ago, I told the woman on the phone that I would only take the survey if she let me just answer the questions once I knew the correct phrasing because it drove me batty to have to listen to the choices each time. She agreed to that and then ignored me. My friend Kelly was here at that time, and she kept yelling at me when I rolled my eyes or put the phone down in my lap or griped.

Kelly: "Stop that! Stop that right now. If you didn't like this, then you shouldn't have agreed to take the survey. They have a script that has to be followed because opinion polls have exact questions...." and she went on and on, and then I had to ask the woman to repeat the question because I couldn't hear her over Kelly's scolding. Which I found funny, and then snickered. The woman never strayed from her script.

Why? Why all of this nonsense? It is a yes or no question. Will you or won't you? Black or white? If you want to delve further into my psyche, then type in that I'm passionate about my answer. What is with all of this other stuff? How does my response of "somewhat" or "maybe" help you in whatever you hope to accomplish by asking these questions? Not only is it annoying, but it makes these surveys so much longer during a time I'm cooking or eating dinner.

Last night a young man appeared at my door while Kelly and I were sitting on the couch talking. When he told me he was from the Democratic party, I jumped up to speak with him, excited that the other party was making a play for me. 

Me: "Wow. Awesome. Lay it on me."

Him: "Is there a Madison that I can talk to?"

Me: "Sigh. Only if you hike to North Carolina."

Today, a young lady from some organization that had the word "Freedom" in it came up my walkway with a tablet to ask me questions concerning our candidate for the Senate race. She actually wanted to ask me about specific policies, worded by her organization, to see if they swayed me toward the candidate. 

She started in with her list of would you, could you, should you nonsense, and then she actually raised her eyebrows at my answers.

Me: "Look. I get that you have to ask me stuff, and you need your boxes filled out, but here is the thing. I'm voting the way I'm voting due to my own personal opinions and beliefs. They aren't yours. They aren't my neighbors. In the end, we're all doing that. We're going with the candidate who shares those same beliefs. I'm not undecided. Nothing you say is going to sway me at this point. Am I happy about this election? Hell, no. Do I think this country is going to hell in a handbasket? Hell, yes. Do I think this election is crazy, and the people involved crazy? Yes. They are. It's sad, actually. Everyone is out for himself and to hell with everyone else. So yes, I'm voting for this candidate that you obviously are not voting for, and nothing you say will change my mind. Okay?"

Her: "Okay, thank you for your time. Can I ask you something?"

Me: "Absolutely. Ask away."

Her: "Is Tom here?"

Me: "You just missed him."

Her: "Would you say he has a favorable or unfavorable opinion about the candidate."

Me: "Oh, believe me, he is unfavorable. He loves saying the opposite of everything I say. Ain't America great?"

The little cyst that could

Monday, I had surgery yet again on the cyst that won't quit. My friend SueG offered to drive me because she feels invested in the cyst, having been my driver during one of my many visits back and forth to the dermatologist. As usual, when the two of us are together, hilarity ensued. As usual, where this cyst is concerned, problems arose.

• Hilarity - I wore my "wound center" scrubs that my mother received when trying to close her wound in the hyperbaric chamber. She passed them on to me, and I wear them when I need to play a doctor. I thought them very appropriate for surgery.

• Problem: I went into the bathroom upon arrival. Sitting on the top of a cabinet that held toilet paper and paper towels, was a pamphlet inside a plastic display frame. The picture was of a 34-year-old woman with stage four melanoma, and the verbiage said something about how much she would miss doing things with her family. It was depressing as hell and did nothing to relax me. 

• Hilarity - The operating table sat in the middle of the room and could be lifted up and down and swung around in a circle. The head of the table was small and jutted out by a metal neck. On the head was a big, fluffy, white pillow that I was supposed to stuff my face into, and so when Doctor M. came in, I inquired about a table head with a hole in it. SueG looked at me in disbelief. "This is not Massage Envy. He's not rubbing you down. Get up on that table and let's get this over with."

• Problem - I couldn't get comfortable on the table lying down on my stomach with my head in the pillow, so the doctor suggested he remove the table head so that I could put my chest on the pillow and dangle my head and arms. Unfortunately, when I got into position, my arms were touching metal, and since a laser was going to be used, I had to readjust so as not to get zapped.

• Hilarity - After the nurse finished asking me all of her questions, I went back to the bathroom. I took deep calming breaths, but then my eye went back to the poor woman with melanoma. I turned the frame around, but the same damn thing was on both sides. I finally took it to the girl at the front desk and suggested that she put it elsewhere. "It isn't something you should have in the bathroom where people getting ready to go under the knife are seeking peace and tranquility."

• Problem - This office has a "vest" made out of paper open to the back. It covered only my boobs. When I was in there last dealing with this cyst, my fever was breaking, and the paper "vest" ended up in shreds. I put this one on and griped about how attractive it was, and how it didn't cover my belly, leaving it protruding in all its white, fat glory.

• Hilarity - SueG reminded me it was a "vest" and that my stomach would be lying on the table "if you ever get up on that thing!" Eventually, in all my moving around, the "vest" ripped, so I pulled it all off and threw it at SueG.

• Problem - SueG had worked the night before, and this surgery was cutting into her sleep time. My appointment was for 11:00, but by the time I got settled on the table, it was after 12:00. Doctor M. arrived and took immense pleasure in sticking me numerous times to numb me. When he finished, he said he would return in five minutes. He was gone way longer than that.

• Hilarity - When he did come back and asked if we were ready, SueG said, "That was a long five minutes. I'm just saying, it was more like fifteen." I reminded her that Doctor M. was getting ready to cut me open, and maybe she should leave the sarcasm for afterward.

• Problem - Everyone was worried I would get zapped with the laser, so Dr. M. tried to put the head section back on to the table. It wasn't cooperating with the table reclined and me on it. 

• Hilarity - Dr. M. began jiggling it from side to side and up and down to get it back on the bar, but this caused the table, now way up in the air, to tilt, and when the resident tried to hold it steady, he made it spin. I pretended I was on a roller coaster and shouted, "Wheeeeeeeeee!" Dr. M. gave up and told me to keep my limbs away from the metal.

• Problem - The cyst was still inside my neck/back. It also had a tail that was heading up into my neck area, possibly heading for my brain. Dr. M. and the resident were fascinated by this turn of events. Unfortunately, when he went to remove this thing, a piece broke off and swam away to the left of my incision. Together, they tried to squeeze it back toward the incision, but no go. A discussion was had on whether or not he should cut open more of my back. SueG weighed in with "Cut it and get the damn thing out, we've already spent way too much time on this thing as it is." He opted to burn it out with the laser. He is 99.9% he got it all. I have some doubts.

• Hilarity - Dr. M. pulled out the cyst with its tail and held it aloft for SueG to examine. She did not take photos. He called it a small thing. She called it huge with this "long, yucky, dangling thing attached." She said the smell of my burning flesh with the laser about had her gagging. I told her she should have been the one inside the skin while it was burning.

• Problem - Dr. M. finally started stitching me up. I have no idea how many stitches I got, but it seemed to go on forever. At one point, I let him know that I could feel the needle as he threaded through my skin.

• Hilarity - "What?" he asked, "You can feel? Can you feel this?" and then he proceeded to poke me. When I told him I could feel his poking, he did it again. "Uh, hello?" I said, "what part of I can feel, don't you get?" He looked at SueG and conceded his five minutes of letting me go numb might have been a "tad too long." He numbed me all over again.

• Problem - The thread broke in the middle of his stitching. He wasn't too happy about that, and then discovered it was the wrong number thread. It was a size 4, and he wanted a size 3. Too late now. He told me it shouldn't be a problem, but not to lift anything for the next two weeks.

• Hilarity - I asked if a basket of laundry counted as heavy lifting. Dr. M. offered to write me a note if my husband required it. 

• Problem - Dr. M. asked, as he sewed if I cared how the scar would look, and I told him that my last dermatologist (who also removed a cyst from my neck--oh, yes, this isn't my first rodeo--had left nary a scar. "I'm not trying to pressure or anything, just mentioning it."

• Hilarity - Dr. M.'s response to that? He told the resident, in a teaching moment, "Now when a patient discusses how another dermatologist did a perfect job, that's when you sew in your initials or something else."

I was out of there a little before 2:00 pm. The wound was packed with a pressure dressing, and I was given drugs that came with a warning, "this is known to be addictive". 

I made SueG go through the Chick-fil-a drive-thru despite my diet, so I could get a milkshake. Then, I went home and went to bed. 

I don't know why anyone would be addicted to the drugs, but they did keep the pain manageable. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the runaway piece isn't setting up shop somewhere else in my body.