Thank god I do this only once a year....

Bathing suit shopping is a horrible thing for a woman. It ranks right up there with bra shopping. First of all, the companies that make these two items know that we need them and knowing that they can charge anything they want for suits and bras. And they do charge. Quite a lot.

Secondly, this time of shopping is degrading. Standing in a cubicle the size of an apartment bathroom trying to squeeze excess skin into a thin piece of material either on top or on bottom and top is very trying. Throw in a sales lady who thinks nothing of sliding her hand inside the bra to lift or fill in the cup and you almost wish you were at the dentist or the gynecologist.

Tuesday I went bathing suit shopping for three reasons: I live in Florida, I own a pool, and I have children. Put those together and you have sunny, sweltering summer days spent poolside lifeguarding until the sun goes down. Wearing a bathing suit is a must to prevent heat stroke. Unfortunately, 8 hour days spent wearing a suit 7 days a week takes its toll on the cheap Lycra and nylon, especially in the bum area. If you don't want the moon to come out during the day, you buy a new suit each spring.

In the good old days before children, I purchased or was given a Speedo. I lived in Speedo suits because I was either swimming on a team, coaching a team, or lifeguarding. Speedo suits were easy. I wore the same size each year, and all I had to choose was the design, which was usually what color stripe or stripes did I like. I continued wearing them during my early stages of pregnancy by doubling up on them, stretching them to the limit. But after two births I had to let Speedo go because I no longer wore that same size.

Instead, I had to move into the one-piece suits with bra shelves, ties behind the neck, and huge colorful flowers. As I got older I noticed more women my age wearing suits with attached skirts to hide the fleshy legs and the "not quite attention to hair removal" areas. It is the one thing I refuse to succumb to and instead I would wear a one piece with a swag that tied in the front and protected those areas. Then came the two-piece with a halter top and bottoms. Last year those bottoms were replaced with shorts. That is what I set out to purchase this year.

I took a friend with me. We shopped together last year too, but we were both thinner. She doesn't own a pool so she didn't need a suit, but she came for moral support. The store we went to was having a sale. It was also senior day and the place was packed with tourists hoping for a good buy and regulars hoping for a good buy. The wall was lined with suit tops three rows deep, the third row being the only one we could reach. We eyed them and took what we thought looked good. My friend found the stick with the hook on the end to reach the first and second rows, and she spent a good portion of her time unhooking tops for all the customers while I waited my turn for the dressing room.

I tried the "instantly slims in 20 seconds" suit on first. I wiggled and wormed my body into the thick piece of material and held my breath. Twenty seconds passed, as did 30, then 40 and finally I couldn't hold the breath any longer. Result: false advertising.

The second and third suit I tried on had built-in bra cups that would protect me from any sharp objects. Result: not right for a woman with breasts that once held gallons of milk and were larger than the built-in cups.

The next four or five suits were too short and showed my "I've had 5 kids" belly. By this time I was sweating, was breathing heavily, and was tired of saying, "Yes?" in a pleasant voice when umpteen women knocked on the dressing room door. There was a sea of bathing suit tops on the floor, more hanging from hooks on the walls and a multitude of hangers were covering the piddly bench in the dressing room.

Then I found it. It was actually the first top given to me by my friend. Not only was it a color that went well with my skin tone, but it also was blousey and not skin tight, and it was $25.00 cheaper than anything else I had tried on. I almost sobbed with joy. I bought it, brought it home and tried it out today. It worked so well I think I'll go back and snag four more. Won't that just show those bathing suit companies?

Pondering.....

• That the people who barrel through four-way stops were the ones who didn't take turns as children.
• How interesting it is that the same people always stop when a police car is at one of those four corners.
• That every two weeks or so someone you know should follow you in a car to make sure your taillights are all working.
• That it is okay to skip work to lounge poolside or head to the beach.
• That the children who were not able to make the international trip should still be getting an education at school.
• How interesting it is that I'm getting in touch with family and friends I haven't spoken to in years via Facebook.
• I really should start planning my summer vacation.
• That someone needs to make sunscreen smell better.
• That I should use my coupons that I clip each week.
• I'm not 40 something. I'm $39.95 plus shipping and handling.

And she moves on....

Each year our school participates in a county-wide speech contest sponsored by Tropicana and 4-H. The contest is from 4th-6th graders and a winner is chosen from each grade. At our school, it is mandatory for the kids to compete for their speech grade.

The first round puts through about half of the participants who move on to the second round at school. This round produces 1st - 3rd place winners with the first place winner moving on to the semi-finals with other county winners. Winners from that round move to the finals.

Madison has come in second place the last two years behind her buddy, Camille. Each year we have trooped to the finals to watch Camille's speech. The winner receives tuition paid for the 4-H camp held somewhere in the state. Several schools participate from the public, private and home-schooled sector. This year Madison came in 1st place and gets to move on. Here is her speech:

Sounds

Ding, errrrr, WOO-WOO, hello, chirp chirp. Just listen to all those wonderful sounds! There are many different types of sounds in the world, and of course many different uses for them as well, but have you ever noticed how they affect our emotions, how they trigger a handful of responses, or just how many uses there really are? Most likely not, but all that could change with a few seconds of sound.

Happy, sad, embarrassed, excited, and angry are some of the different emotions sounds can cause. Some happy sounds could be the chirp of birds, the music of the ice cream truck, or laughter. Unfortunately, some meanings of sound can change; one minute ago you and your friend were laughing about a joke you just learned, the next every one might be laughing at you because you tripped on some garbage while not paying attention. That would make it an embarrassing sound. Sounds that make us sad might be the sobs of people crying, or the crack when you break a bone. Considering this sounds have plenty of effect on our emotions, which can lead to different reactions.

Responses and reactions can be helpful and harmful in plenty of ways. Let’s say you hear the fire alarm. What would you do? You would probably jump up and know to exit the building. That sound is very helpful in the reaction it causes. They could be harmful if you hear yelling and start to become angry because then you might hurt or destroy something. Reactions are mainly triggered by the emotions you feel when you hear a sound, but like the fire alarm, they can also be done through a taught response.

Sounds, however, aren’t just used to make people happy or sad or to provide different responses. They have a variety of different uses, and without sounds, we wouldn’t be what we are today. Sounds are used to communicate, make music, signals, and to express yourself. Without them I couldn’t be giving this speech, it would almost be impossible to know if the telephone was ringing, but more importantly, it would make the world seem pretty boring.

All in all, sounds are extremely useful, especially in how they affect our emotions, how they trigger responses from us, and all there other different uses. Sounds are one of the great things that make up our world. For me though the best sound, I could hear now would be the sound of claps and cheers as I finish this speech.

© 2008-2009 MB

Spicy Taco Soup Recipe

I don't normally hand out recipes because I'm not a cook. Well, not usually. There are about a handful of dishes that I can cook, which is why I like to use my crockpot. Crockpotting is not cooking. It is throwing a bunch of non-cooked items into a big pot and keeping your fingers crossed that it comes out cooked and tasting good.

Last week I went to a little cafe near where I dropped my mother off at her doctor's appointment. I had not had lunch and hadn't really eaten much of a breakfast, and I knew if I was going to continue to function then I needed something to fill my belly. The cafe is mostly a deli with sandwiches of all types of different varieties. They have a soup of the day and that day the soup was "Spicy Taco Soup". The lady explained that it was a weight watchers recipe and quite delicious. I had some and agreed it was scrumptious.

Later that night I looked the recipe up online. I copied it and the suggestions made by others on how to improve it. Last night I made a big pot of it and served it to my family and in-laws. No one died and everyone loved it. So I thought I would share.

Spicy Taco Soup

1. Brown a pound of ground turkey in a skillet and dump it into a crockpot. (May use beef or chicken as well. I used turkey and found it quite tasty, not to mention healthy.)
2. Add a can of Rotel diced tomatoes including the liquid. (This comes in many varieties and degrees of hotness. Because my daughter doesn't like spicy I used mild.)
3. Add a can of diced tomatoes including the liquid. (I put them in my hand and squeezed, creating a juice. I don't care for large chunks of tomatoes so this took care of the problem and it made more of a soup texture.)
4. Add a can of black beans, a can of pinto beans, and a can of chili beans.
5. Add a can of green beans and a can of corn.
6. Add a packet of taco seasoning (I used a pack and a half)Add a packet of Hidden Valley dressing.
7. Stir, cover and cook on high or low depending on how fast you need it.

Serve in a bowl with any or all of the following, depending on your tastes: sour cream, shredded cheese, taco sauce, crushed taco shells or Tostada chips, cilantro, black olives, chopped lettuce. I put all of these into individual bowls and let each person top his soup the way he preferred.
A delightful meal, but be aware that the beans can cause a little gas the next day. Enjoy!

From the email box.....

Little funnies from the mouths of children:

• "Our father, who does art in heaven, Harold is his name. Amen."


• "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."


• "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."


• After the christening of his baby brother, Jason cried and cried. When asked what was the matter he replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys."


• When the Sunday school teacher asked the children why it was necessary to be quiet in church, one little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."


• When the boys began arguing over who would get the first pancake, mother saw an opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, he would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait'" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"


• When the kids discovered a dead seagull on the beach they asked their father what had happened. He explained that the bird had died and gone to heaven. The little boy thought about that and replied, "Did God throw him back down?"


• At a family dinner with a few guests, the mother asked the little girl to say the blessing. "I don't know what to say," she said. Her mother smiled and said, "Just say what you hear Mommy say." The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why did I invite all these people to dinner?"

Perhaps I have blinders on....

We have four grading periods at my daughters' school. After the first and fourth grading period, they have teacher conferences where you come in at an appointed time and meet with all of the teachers. During the second and third grading periods, they have what they call student-led conferences. This is where you come in at an appointed time and meet with your child who goes through a folder of each class that includes the grade, samples of their work, and a sheet of paper with questions they have answered. For example:

Q: Is this the best job I can do?
A: Yes, I think this is the best job I can do.

We are now at the third grading period and this week is the student-led conferences. I have not had mine yet because I am damn busy right now with a homebound mother, a sick child, chauffeuring duties, and various other activities. The times available have not worked out for me. I didn't think this was such a big deal until I discovered that if you don't come in for the conference then you and your child must do the conference at home and then answer some questions. One paragraph for each question. Because it is my fault that I'm unable to make these conferences I have decided to write all of the paragraphs for my children.

1. My conference went well because....my mother kept her mouth shut and let me talk. I discussed how well I was doing, what my goals were for the rest of the year, and how I thought I could improve on my grade. My mother listened to me and let me finish my sentences without interruption, despite the fact that her face was slowly turning a cherry red.


2. My conference could have been better if....my mother had just kept her mouth shut. Unfortunately, when it came time for the discussion part of our conference my mother began ranting and raving. She talked about how ridiculous this whole student-led conference nonsense was because she lives with her children and sees how they are doing daily. She feels that we discuss goals, grades, and improvements nightly. I had to listen to her as she griped about how some kids are able to retake tests and bring up their grades if their parents aren't happy, yet her child gets her grade lowered because she logged her reading on the back of the reading log because the teacher was out of logs at the time. She wasn't happy that some classes have discipline problems and she feels that the academics are suffering for it. She hated that my conduct was poor and blames herself because she has "mouthy genes" and has passed them on to me. I was very concerned about her because she kept mentioning that her head was going to explode.


3. What is one positive thing I've learned about myself or my academics? I learned that it isn't my fault that I talk too much. It is because I've inherited my mother's "mouthy genes". I also learned that this trait comes from both sides of our family and so I've got the double whammy.


4. What study skills work best for me on tests and quizzes? The study skill that works best for me on tests and quizzes is going over the information with my mother. Having her quiz me before my tests, ensures that she knows I know the information, as well as it lets me off the hook when the teacher takes off two points on my essay question because "we already know that the Spanish American war is a war" when I was restating the question into my answer. That way it isn't my fault when her head begins to explode.


5. Parents, please explain at least one positive outcome of your child's student-led conference. The fact that it was over was a tremendous relief to me. Listening to the reasons why my daughter's grade went from an A to a B despite her A's on tests and assignments makes my head explode. Knowing that my daughter gets 110% on tests each week in class and wondering why that doesn't make the teacher think that this might be too easy for my daughter makes my head explode. Feeling helpless and not understanding some of the teachers' rationale causes me great stress and doesn't help with my New Year's Resolutions of "letting go". I would have to say that the positive outcome of this conference was that my head didn't actually explode and that I am still intact and waiting for next grading period's conferences when I can sit face to face with the teachers.

Why I belong indoors

When Tom and I got married we made the deal that he would take care of the outside of the house and I would take care of the inside of the house. This meant that he mowed the lawn, raked the leaves, and completed all plantings and such. I scrubbed toilets and showers, cleaned all the rooms, and completed all the vacuuming and such. Of course we both pitch in when it comes to trash and laundry and such, but for the most part he is in charge of the outdoors, and I am in charge of the indoors.

Then the recession hit. Tom is busy trying to keep us above water and to keep his job. He leaves at 7:30 AM and most of the time doesn't return home until after 8:00 PM. He is tired, at times grouchy, and he could use a little vacation. So this morning I decided to give him one. After dropping off one child at school (the other is home sick) I returned home and stood outside in what use to be my driveway.

It is now hidden beneath mounds of pollen that drip from our huge oak tree in the front yard. You can stand right there and listen to the pollen as it drops. It sounds like rain trickling through the branches of the tree, which would be a welcome sound if it really were rain, but instead, it is this horrible, allergy-inducing, sneezing producing pollen.

It covers the yard, the driveway, my neighbor's yard, and driveway, and the street. A beautiful downpour would wash this stuff down to the sewer at the end of the street, but this is Florida and the reality is that there is no rain. It was up to me to find the driveway.

I got the outdoor broom, the one with the wooden handle, and set to work. Our driveway is divided into four sections. I started at the top of the first section in the middle. I decided I would sweep out from the yard to the middle and make one pile and then do the same with the other side, thus creating eight piles on the driveway that would need to be bagged.

While I swept, my mind was working through the second task, that of bagging the pollen and leaves. Tom usually dons work gloves and picks up the piles and bags them. I've always found this to be difficult, especially when it comes to getting both hands into the trash bag. Most of the time the bag closes in on itself and half of the pile misses. Then there is the problem of leaves and pollen falling from your hands or the dustpan. I got to thinking that the wet/dry vacuum would be easier. Bring that puppy out, plug her in, suck up all the pollen and what not, and then dump the inside of the vacuum directly into a bag. Clean and efficient.

Then out came my neighbor, Howard, to walk his little dog, Penny. I love Howard. He is a go-getter and a helper to those in need. He has given me (and Tom) advice from washing windows to cutting down trees. If Howard is upset about something in our yard, instead of whining or arguing, he will knock on the door and offer to remove whatever it is that is causing him agony, thus pushing us to get off our butts and take care of things. So out comes Howard who observes me working outdoors, and stops to chat. We discuss the indoor/outdoor thing of our marital arrangement and how the recession is forcing me to move outdoors.

Howard: "You know, I have a push broom in my garage. Do you think that would help you in any way?"

Me: "Well, this broom is working quite nicely, thank you, Howard."

Howard: "I have a small one and a big one. Shall I bring them over?"

Me: "Sure."

Howard: "Which one would you like?"

Me: "Which one do you think would be better?"

Howard: "Well, I like the big broom, but Netta likes the small broom. Which one would you like?"

Me: "How about you bring them both over and I'll be the deciding factor on that argument."

He brought over the big broom. He made me try it out and it was a nice broom that would cut down my sweeping time. In return, I gave him my bright idea about the wet/dry vac. He listened, pursed his lips, and said that sweeping it into a dustpan was another way of doing it. I joked that he was a man and didn't like straying from the usual. He left me to my work.

The big broom was wonderful. Those sections were done in record time, and soon I could see the driveway again. I moved into the street and had to go back to my broom as the push broom was too big. By now dawn had passed, the sun was rising higher in the sky, and I was getting a tad warm, not to mention tired. I hadn't eaten or had any coffee yet this morning. But I thought of Tom slaving away in his office, and I kept sweeping. By the time I finished in front of my house and my neighbor's to my left, I had five more piles.

I stood and surveyed the scene. My bright idea of the wet/dry vac was not going to work. My nice neat piles were spread out all over the place, and I realized that the extension cord on my wet/dry vac would only reach about halfway down the drive. I was sure that inventors didn't give up as easily as I did, but I had a blister on my right, middle finger from the wooden broom handle, and a ton of work inside the house, AND a sick kid in bed so I put on the work gloves, got out the big, black trash bag and began picking up piles.

By the time I got to the street, my back was aching from bending so much, my legs were shaking from holding my weight while bending, and I was wishing I had just gone to the gym. I had two piles left. Out came Howard.

He wandered out to put something in his trashcan waiting at the curb for pick-up. He sauntered over to admire my work and complimented me on my job. He did not mention the wet/dry vac, but instead took the broom from me and helped me finishing bagging the last two piles. I showed him my blister and he examined it closely, recommended a band-aid and some coffee, took his broom and headed home chuckling.

I heaved the heavy trash bag full of pollen, mulch and leaves to the curb. I cleaned up my mess and headed back inside feeling quite satisfied with myself and thinking how surprised my husband would be.

Seven hours later the driveway was covered in pollen again. It looked as if nothing had been swept at all. I whined all the way to soccer, and when I returned there was Tom, home from work, sweeping the driveway. Lucky for me I had thought to photograph my hard work. Lucky for me I had Howard as a witness, and lucky for me he had already filled Tom in on my hard work. I got some brownie points, but they were also given with quite a bit of snickering.....

No Dr. Doolittle, I'm Afraid

I'm not an animal person. I like them. I just don't feel comfortable around them. When I see a cute kitten or puppy I'm like anyone else. I think "how sweet" and "oh, she's adorable" and I might pet it, but it doesn't make me want one. Having one means taking care of something that I don't know anything about. It scares me.

My friend, Kelly, has two cats. One is Pigeon who Kelly has had since her Chicago days. The other is Cowboy, a cat Kelly got from a co-worker's cat's litter. Pigeon is this skinny, mangy looking cat with fur that sticks out all over her body in all directions. She is very sweet and loves to be petted, but spends most of her time under Kelly's bed because she is afraid of most things. Cowboy, on the other hand, is a slick, handsome male that could be on the cover of Cat GQ if they had such a thing. He has attitude, and if he wore clothes his pants would be hanging down his backside showing his underwear. He likes to torment Pigeon until she runs under the bed and then he wanders out and gives you a look like, "What? She's so moody. I was just trying to tell her I loved her."

This past weekend I was put in charge of caring for Pigeon and Cowboy. This happens about twice, maybe three, times a year. When my children are with me they brush the cats and play fetch with Cowboy. They fill up the food dishes and pour water in the bowl. They do not, and I will repeat this, they do not clean out the litter boxes, and they do not pick up the hairballs and cat vomit. I do this. With pleasure, of course.

This past Monday I went to Kelly's alone as the girls were in school. I unlocked and opened the door and quickly entered, pulling the screen behind me. Usually, both cats are waiting by the door as if they sense me on the other side, and I am terrified that Cowboy will run outside, down the stairs, and be off to seek his fortune. I am terrified of having to explain this to Kelly, thus my covert entrance.

This day, however, there were no cats at the door. I had a moment of panic that they had already escaped, or worse, died on my duty, but I pulled myself together and thought aloud, "they are probably still asleep as it is quite early." I moved into the living area and out slinked Cowboy from the bedroom. He was moving slowly, his tail straight in the air, a model on the runway. Pigeon was not behind him, but this didn't concern me all that much because she always comes running when she hears the pouring of the food into her dish. I greeted Cowboy, picked up the food container, and bent over to fill up the dishes. As I did this I heard a faint hissing sound from behind me.

"What was that?" I asked Cowboy, turning my head to look behind me.

"What was what?" said Cowboy, rubbing up against my leg. "Oh, you've come to feed me. Quite nice." He began munching out of the bowl.

I stared at him. I bent back over the bowl and heard more hissing, only louder this time. I stood up and whirled around.

"Hisssssss. I can seeeeeee you. Hissssssss. What do you thinkkkkk you are doing here?"

"What the hell is that noise?" I shouted. I then noticed that the cupboard door under the kitchen sink was slightly ajar. "Oh, my god, what the hell is in there?" I looked at Cowboy.

"What noise?" He had left the food and was standing watching me. "Are you hearing noises?"

"Do you not hear that noise?" I asked him, staring intently at the ajar cupboard.

"Hissssss. Hissssss."

"Pigeon! Pigeon, are you in there?" I looked at Cowboy. "Is Pigeon in there? Did you do something to her and she ran in there?"

"Me?" Cowboy rubbed against my leg again. "Why, I can't imagine why you would think such a thing. I haven't any idea where that fickle female is."

I stared at the crack in the door. Kelly's cupboards are made of dark wood and the interior is even darker. I conjured up a huge rat in among the pots and pans and cleaning equipment, its beady eyes watching me, its tongue licking its chops as it waited for the precise moment to pounce. I didn't hesitate as I heard more hissing. I kicked the door shut and leaped back, my heart pounding.

"Okay, Cara, get a grip. It isn't a rat," I told myself aloud.

I walked into Kelly's bedroom and began calling Pigeon. "Pigeon? Pigey...pigey, here pigey."

Nothing.

"Come on Pigeon. Breakfast time."

Cowboy stood in the doorway watching me. "Seriously," he said. "What's with all the drama?"

"I swear to god," I told him. "If you have done something to that cat."

"Cara," he said. "Cara, Cara, Cara. You really have lost it, haven't you."

"That's it!" I glared at him. "I can't do this anymore."

I stomped out of the bedroom and there was Pigeon, calmly eating food out of her dish.

She looked at me. "Meow."

I looked at the closed cupboard. I looked at the cats. I picked up my keys and left, clomping down the stairs, back to my car, away from the thing under the sink, away from the cats, muttering under my breath about how much I love our turtle.

Paybacks?

One of the things my mother always complained about was how we kids would either get sick or have some major catastrophe happen to us right before she went on a trip. Another thing she used to say was, "It will all come back to you." Let me begin my story.....

The day before I was to leave for Tallahassee at 4:30 in the morning the girls were in a speech contest held at their school. Both girls had moved into the final round of the competition so I went to watch it. It lasted about an hour and the teacher then told us we could take our children home since school was only another half an hour and we were already there. Madison and I were waiting for Darcy who was in the bathroom. She finally came out and we were all standing in the doorway talking. Suddenly Madison lets out this primal scream. Apparently, she had put her hand into the hinge of the bathroom door and someone had closed the door on her fingers.

Me: "Why were your fingers in the doorway?"

Madison: "There is a little place there to rest your hand. I always do that."

Me: "I bet you don't do that anymore."

Flashback
My father, Russ: "Go ahead and let her do it."

Me: "But she could get her fingers chopped off."

Russ: "And that will be the last time she puts her hand there."

After running her hand under water and taking her outside so that I could assess the damage, I dropped everything I was holding and had a moment of mother panic. Blood was pouring out of two incisions, one on the ring finger, the other on the middle finger. I pulled myself together (remembering my NY Resolution), wrapped her hand in paper towels and drove her to the immediate care center not far from the school.

There was no standing in line or waiting in the waiting room as the nurse took one look at it and ushered us into a room. Madison was holding on quite nicely until this exchange:

Me: (rubbing her back) "You're doing great. They're already looking better."

Nurse: "They don't look good to me. Might need stitches."

Madison: "EEEEeeeee"

Me: (rubbing her back) "Now we don't know that. I don't think they need stitches."

Nurse: "Could need stitches though."

Madison: "EEEEeeeee"

Me: (rubbing back harder) "Ah, nowadays they don't even use stitches, sweetie. They use glue."

Nurse: "Oh, we use stitches here."

Madison: "EEEEeeeee" (tears start pouring out)

The doctor, the same one who worked on Darcy after the horse incident, was wonderful. He sat down next to Madison and took over the back rubbing, talking to her in a calm, gentle voice. He looked at the fingers and said he didn't think stitches would be necessary, but he did want an x-ray as her middle finger was swollen. Off she went with the stitch nurse.

When she returned the doctor was perplexed. He saw on one x-ray only a bone chip at the top joint of the middle finger. But because he only saw it on one x-ray he wanted a radiologist to take a look at it, which meant he had to send off the x-rays and we would wait a day or two for the results. In the meantime, he explained that the door had gotten all four of her fingers right across the top. On the two fingers that were bleeding the skin had been pulled back from the fingernails and she would need to keep those wounds covered and in splints for a week. If the x-ray turned out to show a bone chip she would wear the splints for two weeks.

The stitch nurse was not exactly adept at wrapping wounds. She tried several different times and finally the doctor made her put away her care items and he told her what to use. Even then Madison's fingers were wrapped in so much red tape that they were three times her normal size.

Here is what her fingers looked like the next day after the removal of the bandages:

Did I mention this is her right hand? A little hard to write and type with those big old things on her hand so I'm now her typist every day after school. That is exhausting for both of us, but we are managing. She had to miss her last basketball game. Two days later we got the results: no bone chip. She can take these splints off tomorrow. I think she is nervous to do that as they protect her fingers from further injury. Her fingers are black and blue, but the skin is adhering nicely back under her nails.

We were in and out of the doctor's office in an hour and back at school to pick up Darcy. And I still made it a few hours later (4:30 AM) on my trip.

My mother will certainly laugh at this story. But Madison has agreed that she will not stick her hand into any more door jambs.

They grow up so fast!

From the Email Box

Actually, I believe my brother uses some of these......

Wouldn't you love to say these aloud to someone?

• Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?


• I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.


• Well, aren't you just the most adorable black hole of need?


• Why don't you slip into something more comfortable....like a coma.


• Shhhh...that's the sound of nobody caring what you think.


• If you have something to say, raise your hand and place it over your mouth.


• You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.


• Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips.

We might have missed the boat somewhere.....

We traveled to Tallahassee with four children in our car. The car belonged to my friend Jyoti. She and her daughter, Sarina, and Darcy and I were in the car, along with two other children, Alina and Maggie, whose parents were not able to attend. Jyoti and I found it interesting in watching the four interact. Clearly, our two were far removed from the other two as noticed in some of the following exchanges:

Our orders at McDonald's: Sarina - pancakes, Darcy - cinnamon roll and hashbrown, Maggie and Alina - yogurt cup with fruit.

Overheard at the Tallahassee Museum: 

Maggie: "It is a parasite." 

Alina: "Well, what is a parasite?"

Maggie: "A parasite is an organism that lives on another organism and gets its nutrients from feasting on that other organism." 

Alina: "Imagine if a parasite was as big as a cat or dog---" 

Sarina: "Do you want to go to the gift shop?" 

Darcy: "Yes." 

Sarina: "What do you want to get?" 

Darcy: "Candy!"

Overhead in the car: 

Darcy: "Alina, do you like Miley Cyrus?" 

Alina: "Actually, I like (names singer)." 

Sarina: "Who's that?" 

Alina: "She is a musician who plays the violin and the mandolin. Her music is quite interesting to listen to."

Jyoti and I were very impressed with the fact that these two girls traveled without family on an overnight trip where they were shuttled from a car with the two of us to a hotel room with two different adults. We are thinking that this summer our two should spend some quality time in the homes of these two girls.

Day 2 in Tallahassee

Tallahassee Museum

Last night we ended our day with a nice buffet dinner at Wakulla Springs. By the time we got back to the hotel, it was after ten o'clock. The adults mentioned hitting the bar, but I don't think anyone actually made it there. Darcy's head hit the pillow and she was out in one minute. I joined her not long after.

The next day we had breakfast in the hotel and drove to the Tallahassee Museum, about ten minutes away from our hotel on the shores of Lake Bradford. The museum is a taste of native Florida. There are 52 acres of scenic woodlands and a zoo in the woods that you explore by walking through.

We started off with a tour guide who took the children down into the woods by the lake. There she educated them in wildlife and then gave them nets. They got to wade through the lake into the muck, catching interesting tidbits in their nets and viewing them under microscopes. After cleaning up we were given the choice of staying and exploring or heading back to the school. Our group stayed.

We spent about an hour walking the trail and learning about the different Florida animals that were housed in the wooded zoo. We told our group that a quiz would follow and a prize would be awarded at the end so they paid close attention and listened to our parent guide.

We saw turkey vultures, Florida panthers, river otters, an American alligator, a white squirrel, bobcats, a black bear, grey foxes, wild turkeys, grey foxes, a bald eagle, an owl, and more. The view of the cypress trees in the lake was amazing. Everything was quiet and serene. The children were

interested and took lots of pictures and asked a lot of questions. The hike ended back at the center where the kids, of course, hit the gift shop. We held our little quiz and each child received a postcard of one of the animals we had just visited.

We loaded up our two cars and headed back to our hotel where we ate lunch. After that, we said our good-byes to Tallahassee and headed back south. We arrived back at the school at 8:30 PM. Most of the other parents had arrived an hour earlier so all was quiet. We called the parents of our extra children and waited until they were carefully placed back into the arms of their parents. Then we headed back to our home.

Darcy got ready for bed, filled her father and sister in on her trip, distributed the gifts she had purchased, and immediately fell asleep on the floor of her bedroom, her luggage taking up space on her bed.

Many people stated throughout the trip that Tallahassee was not a place they would have thought about visiting on their own. All of us agreed that we were glad we had been forced to tour it. It is an interesting and educational city with lots to explore and learn. And it is a city that should be visited whether on your own or forced to by a group of school children.

Tallahassee Challenger Learning Center

By 3:00 PM the adults are dragging. The kids are still going strong, but we can see signs of tiredness. Our next tour is the Challenger Learning Center, one of my favorites from my last visit. We are directed into the IMAX theater where we sit and watch Walking on the Moon produced by Tom Hanks. I can't talk much about this movie as I fell asleep about 3 minutes into it.

"Mom," Darcy said at the end. "I had to go to the bathroom really bad during the movie and I came to get you to take me, but you were like this...." She threw her head back, closed her eyes, and opened her mouth. "I had to get another mother to take me."

I go to thank the other mother and she laughs. "On the way back up the stairs after taking Darcy to the bathroom, I wish I had had my camera because 90% of the adults and 20% of the kids were asleep."

From the IMAX theater, feeling much more refreshed, we move into the Learning Center classroom where the children are divided into two groups and given a lesson. One group is then taken upstairs to the orbiting space station modeled after the International Space Station and the other group is taken to the Mission Control room designed after NASA Johnson Space Center. Darcy is in the Mission Control room and her job is one of the probes. She puts on her headset and begins communicating with her counterpart in the space station.

Some of the adults head outside for coffee, some choose to sit in the lobby and check phone messages, and a few of us sit with the kids in Mission Control. Only two adults get into the Space Station. The last visit the parents worked in Mission Control, but this year we have twice as many kids so the adults don't really have jobs. I help the director as he answers questions and helps with the jobs. On a screen above us, we can see into the space station at the other group. Over a loudspeaker, we can hear when the two communicators speak from station to control room.

After about 45 minutes the two groups switch rooms. I jump up and become one of the adults that head into the space station. We climb two levels where we enter a compression chamber and then enter the station. Each child goes right to work as we take off into space. I help the Med Team as they check the vitals of the astronauts. We work for about 5 minutes when an alarm sounds and we are told that our oxygen level has been compromised. We are immediately ushered into the Clean Room where Darcy and her team member are working on the probe.

We all squeeze into the room and close the glass door, leaving behind one member who is responsible for saving our lives. The other adult and I are wheezing and gasping for air. I notice that Darcy is terrified and several other kids are unsure. I stop horsing around and assure them this is pretend. The other adult begins clawing on the glass. I join him. Luckily, we are saved and the door opens and we report back to our positions.

Five minutes later we are taking cover as we are hit by a comet. After that incident, we are busily back to work. Darcy and her teammate are working in the clean room when they are given a command to turn something. They do this and a pop sounds and we are told that a fire has broken out in the Clean Room.

The two girls immediately try to open the door and the director shouts at them to stop. The other adult shouts, "You will burn us all!" The girls are told to listen to Mission Control on how to put out the fire to save us all. They are scared to death, but hang tough and save us all. When the door is opened both of them rush out and we can not get them to return to their positions. They have had enough. Pretend or not.

The tasks are finally completed and we return to earth. Without being told the adults all head into the gift shop.

Touring Tallahassee - History Museum/Old Capitol

The Florida History Museum, The Old Capital

Our next stop after leaving the new capital is the Florida History Museum. We walk there as a group and are immediately ushered into a back room. A museum worker explains to the children what the museum is all about. She asks questions to see how much the children are aware of Florida as a territory and is quite pleased when they know the answers. This makes CJ, our Humanities teacher, look good and he too is quite pleased.

From here the children are given maps of the museum and a book on treasures that can be found throughout the museum. The children divide into the groups they arrived with and they are off and running. They explore the exhibits of the Seminoles of Florida, Florida in the Civil War, and some of the history of Florida. The adults make a half-hearted attempt at following them, but soon realize that the benches along the wall are more inviting. Our 4:30 AM arrival time is starting to catch up with us and more than a few of us close our eyes as the treasure hunt continues.

It is nice to see that the children are interested in what they are viewing. Some of them carry on discussions with each other regarding certain items. The boys like the skeleton of the mastodon and the girls are interested in things they can touch. My daughter is most interested in spending money in the gift shop.

We end our time at the museum with a bagged lunch from the cafe, sitting outside in the Florida sunshine. From there we head to the Old Capitol.

The Old Capitol is directly behind the new Capitol. It is now a landmark building saved from destruction by Floridians. It holds exhibits on the government and political history of Florida. Our tour guide sits the children down and begins educating them on its history.

When Florida became a territory in 1821 the two major cities, St. Augustine and Pensacola, were separated by vast miles of wilderness. It was decided that a new capital would be established halfway between the two old Spanish capitals. Thus Tallahassee was born (given to them by the Indians) and a permanent structure was built in 1839 to house Florida's government. The building served as both a civil and military headquarters during the Civil War.

We watch a short film on the history of Florida and proceed upstairs to the old House of Representatives Chambers. Here we all take seats and take part in voting on legislation that actually happened in Florida. We listen to the speaker, hear pros and cons on the amendment and cast our votes.

The rest of the tour is on our own and we walk through some of the other rooms looking at photographs and exhibits. Again we end at the gift shop. Recession be damned.

Tallahassee Trip - The State Legislature

The New Capitol

We are starting our tour in the new capital because the legislature is in session starting at 11:00 AM. We troop through security where they scan our purses and our bodies. We do not have to remove our shoes, however, for which I am grateful. These are 4th and 5th graders after all!

We all crowd into the elevator crammed up against each other. I wonder aloud how it would be if the elevator got stuck. A few kids' eyes widen. Darcy sticks her thumb in her mouth. The parents wonder aloud if the hotel has a bar.

We enter the public viewing area of the legislature and sit down. The scene is quite impressive if you have never seen it in person. I explain to the four children next to me about what is happening. The speaker calls for a reading on the next item on the agenda. The item is read. Most of the representatives are ignoring what is going on. They are standing around talking, laughing, and yukking it up. Some are seated reading. Some are wandering around. Some woman is walking around carrying something like T'shirts, kneeling in front of representatives as if she is selling them. The speaker then puts the amendment to a vote and she has to repeat it in a stern voice as if talking to children. "Are all the votes in? Please vote now. All votes in now." Without missing a beat, still chatting or reading, the representatives move their arms and push a button. The kids are taking all of this in.

About ten minutes into our viewing a hush begins to fall over the legislature and we notice that the talking is slowly coming to a halt and all eyes are turning to the left of the room. Standing off to the side, waiting to be introduced and honored are Tim Tebow, Urban Meyer and Ryan Stamper from the University of Florida. By the time they are brought before the group, the entire room is silent. Urban Meyer, the football coach, spoke first, followed by Stamper and then Tebow. The girls in our group are perplexed, the boys thrilled. When Tebow stood at the podium and addressed the state lawmakers I got goosebumps.  I leaned over to the four girls in my row.

Me: "That young man down there? He gave up millions and millions of dollars because he could have turned pro and played in the NFL.

The girls are looking at me wide-eyed.

Darcy: "Why?"

Me: "Because he chose to stay in school to finish his education."


And our school trip to Tallahassee is off and running......

4th Grade trip to Tallahassee, Florida

Every other year the 4th and 5th graders at our school take an overnight trip to the state's capital, Tallahassee. Two years ago I made the four-hour drive with my oldest daughter. This year I did it again with my younger daughter, Darcy. The following blogs are my journal of the trip.

Day 1 - The Drive to Tallahassee

1:30 AM - I am still awake and watching the clock. Who in the world decided that leaving at 4:30 in the morning was a bright idea?

3:30 AM - I actually slept for two hours. I have twenty minutes more before my alarm goes off.

3:45 AM - I might as well get up. My god, I'm tired.

4:27 AM - My ride is late in picking me up. We are already late for our meeting at the school. Darcy is wide awake and carrying on a conversation as if it were 4:27 PM. She is very loud and doesn't seem to grasp the fact that the neighborhood is ASLEEP!

4:50 AM - We are on the road. It is very dark at this time of the day and very few people or cars are out and about. Smart people. We are traveling in Jyoti's van with four children, two of them not our own. These parents were smart and opted to stay behind. These parents obviously have jobs.

5:17 AM - We are just passing my inlaws house. I can't believe that we have gotten this far in a short amount of time. At this rate, we might actually be on time, something that didn't happen on the last trip to Tallahassee. For some reason, all the teachers and other parents blamed me for this and I wasn't even driving!

7:30 AM - Our first pit stop is at a McDonald's. We have run into another school car full of kids. This is their second stop so they aren't eating. They are waiting to join two other carloads behind us. We stay and eat a healthy breakfast. Well, the two children that aren't ours do....choosing yogurt and fruit.

9:00 AM - We have overtaken the three cars in front of us. Jyoti is from New York and not one to drive in the right lane. The leader of this caravan is the owner/principal of our school, Mr. G. I hold up a sign that reads, "We will take it from here." He honks as we pass.

9:45 AM - We are in Tallahassee. We do not have to be at our first stop until 10:15 AM. Remembering the last trip, I remark that we should find parking. Our leader, Mr. G, passes us, rolls down his window and tells us to follow him to McDonald's where we will reload on some food. The boys in his car roll down the back windows and yell, "Boo Steelers." They would be the same boys who told me the Cardinals would win the Super Bowl. Silly boys.

10:00 AM - Most of the kids are eating. We have lunch scheduled for noon at the museum cafe. I order Darcy water and a hash brown. Jyoti's daughter is having ice cream. The other girls in our car are not eating anything. They are still full from the yogurt and fruit. Mr. G. is exchanging phone numbers with a woman who heard us discussing our trip. She is trying to help him with directions. We razz him about picking up strange women.

10:05 AM - We are following Mr. G. to the parking garage. We are the third car in a line of four. We are traveled through Tallahassee to the garage. It is a beautiful city, very old Florida. It reminds me of a midwestern college town. Jyoti is quite taken with the city. She didn't think it would be this scenic.

10:15 AM - We have lost the two cars in front of us. We entered the garage behind them, but as we climbed the ramps and turned the second corner they were gone. Poof! Disappeared into thin air. We think he ditched us on purpose. Perhaps that comment about picking up strange women.....

10:17 AM - The car behind us is gone now too. Poof! Disappeared.

10:20 AM - We are parked....on the roof. There is no elavator. We walk down the five flights of stairs to the ground floor. We walk and walk and walk and walk. There is no exit. We are lost in the depths of the parking garage. Mr. G. is a dead man.

10:30 AM - We are out of the parking garage. The exit is on the second floor. We are now walking toward the Capitol. My phone is ringing and the Humanities Teacher, CJ, is wondering where we are. He tells us the entire group is waiting for us at the stairs of the Capitol. I tell him we are already there....upstairs in a meeting with the Governor. He tells me to hurry.

10:38 AM - We have joined the rest of the school. No time for harrassment as we are scheduled to tour the Capitol. On we go....

Email Interests

Every once in a while I receive emails that I keep thinking will come in handy someday. The following is one of those emails. Perhaps this information will be useful to someone. Or perhaps someone out there has tried one of these remedies and can confirm that I am an idiot and should delete my emails.

Who Knew?

• Colgate toothpaste makes an excellent salve for burns?


• Chewing on a couple of Altoids clears up a stuffed nose? (okay maybe I could have figured this one out on my own, but for how long? Do you just keep chewing them all day long?)


• Taking two tablets of Alka-Seltzer at the first symptoms of a urinary tract infection will eliminate it instantly?


• A dab of honey on a skin blemish covered by a Band-Aid will kill the bacteria and heal the blemish?


• Soaking your fungal toes in Listerine will keep your toenails healthy?

• To remove a splinter all you need is to smear Elmer's Glue all over the splinter, let it dry, and peel it off. The splinter sticks to the glue. (Really? Doesn't tape work?)

• Hunt's tomato paste will soothe the pain of a boil?

• A soaked cotton ball full of vinegar will reduce the blueness in a bruise and speed up the healing process?

Out of the mouths of my babes....

Tom: "What are you doing?"

Me: "None of your beeswax."

Tom: "Well, it is my beeswax because you're on a computer you shouldn't be on."

Me: "Oooooo."

Tom: "Seriously, what are you doing?"

Me: "Seriously, I can't tell you that. It's top secret."

Tom: "That's my computer you're on."

Me: "What do you think I'm going to do to it?"

Tom: "It's not a computer for playing on. Things could happen to it. What are you doing?"

Me: "I'm making things happen."

Tom: (coming into the room and poking me): "Oh, yeah, well, I'm making things happen too."

Me: (jumping) "You'd better stop it. My hand is shaking and things could get bumped....like my coffee which could go all over your precious computer and whoa, the things that could happen if that would happen!"

Darcy: (clapping) "My parents are better than watching TV!"

Weekly General Hospital Rant

I tried to do this on another blog, but I've decided to ditch that blog and this is one of the posts that will continue on because I have to get this out in the open for my own sanity. If you don't watch GH, just skip this weekly post.

• When did Kelly's reopen? Last thing I remember it blew up with Mike inside. True, Luke mentioned something about rebuilding, but then Luke has been mentioning things off and on through the month and then disappearing....(see #4 ) So Kelly's just opened without fanfare or mention? Or did I miss something?


• I hate the federal agents. Rayner is a complete idiot and the man who plays him is the worst actor. I could do a better job of acting and I'm not even a man! As for the pig-tailed Winifred....can she drop the "Spinelli speak"? She obviously did that while undercover because no FBI head honcho would hire someone who jabbers like that. Stop it. There is only one Spinelli.


• For months now I have suggested (to anyone who would listen) that the storyline should have Sonny and Jason really working for the WSB all these years undercover. I got excited when the FBI was brought in, but alas, the writers didn't follow my idea. And where is the WSB? Please...if you insist on this storyline then you should have used Scorpio. Or Sean? Way better actors and characters then this Rayner dude.


• And speaking of Scorpio....what happened to his "son" and Luke? We see them and now we don't. They are on one day and gone the next. It is starting to make me a tad nuts. Stick with a story, would you? And please....bring back Luke and give him a real story!


• Why is it that Sonny's home is so accessible? Everyone in Port Charles seems able to just walk in and wander around. For a mobster who has two bodyguards his security sucks!


• Really hate to see Sam back with Jason and Elizabeth back with Lucky. Can you spell B-O-R-I-N-G? I like that Sam is into detecting and danger (reminds me of Felicia, a WAY better character), but I hate her with Jason. Can we not find her someone else to work with. Maybe Mac? He could use a facelift. Let him get back into the thick of detective work instead of running around whining about everyone else's detecting.


• Please, please, please, stop hiring these new actors when you have old ones that are sorely missed. The great thing about GH is the past history. Stop all the mob nonsense and get back to the hospital and the people that run around in it. I miss Monica, Bobbi (although her face lift makes me sad), Alan, Edward, and Tracy. I don't; however, care about seeing someone who looks like someone else. Rebecca Shaw? Seriously, does that ever happen? Why wouldn't that woman run for the hills? I hope that storyline will emerge quickly, and it had better be something creative.


• And what is happening to the hospital? Is it completely burned? Is it even open? Are the nurses and doctors out of work? An update please!


• Love Sonny (and Maurice's ad-libbing) when he is in a scene with Spinelli. Kudos to the two actors!

Two month check into my New Year's Resolutions

I promised myself that I would keep better tabs on how I was doing in keeping my resolutions. I had hoped to do this assessment each month, but January got away from me. Probably, two months is better anyway. Let's see how I'm doing.....(scale 1-10 with 10 being the ultimate score)

1. To work on being patient and to not react hysterically like my forefathers. New motto: "Let it go". Hmmm...I think actually I've done very well in this department. I've made sure to stop myself if I notice some hysteria and to count to five before continuing. I've even helped others "let go", but I'm sure my family might see this a tad differently. I'm giving myself a 7 on this one.


2. To get back on my exercise track, lose 15 pounds, and live comfortably with my body however it may turn out. Yeah, okay that hasn't happened. I blame my workout buddy. It is all her fault. She isn't motivated. And my eye surgery put me down for two weeks. This is a 2.


3. To get to the beach at least twice a month. This I accomplished in January thanks to having company, but February was way too cold! Today is perfect, but I have the eye thing....not a good idea right now. I'll call that a 5.


4. To get birthday cards and gifts out on time. Okay, that wasn't an official resolution, but one I added on to my blog. I suck at this. I don't know what the problem is because I get hallmark reminders two weeks in advance. I'm determined to conquer this one. Right now it is a 2.

Total points: 16 out of possible 40.

I guess I have some work to do.....

Trying to get the worm

Today was the first day I have been able to drive and take my children to school in the morning. Because I have gotten behind in a few things I decided that I would drop off the kids and get cracking on getting my errands done. The following are some of the interesting tidbits that happened to me all before 9:30 AM.

• Each morning on the way to and from school I like to listen to a local radio station duo, Big D and Bubba. They are quite hysterical and start my day off right. Usually, they have a question that they ask and put out to the listening audience who then calls in with answers. Today's question was, What is the one thing that you do that no one knows about? The two best answers I liked: "I iron my undergarments." and "I like to go to cemeteries and lie down in the holes they dig for dead people."

• I needed to run into Target to get a gift card or a gift for my niece's birthday (which I missed 4 days ago) and somehow ended up in the woman's clothing section. While searching through the clearance rack I kept hearing this woman yell, "Emmanuel!" There would be silence and then she would say it loudly again, followed by the mocking tone of her younger daughter berating her brother. There was nothing panicked about the tone. It was more of an "Emmanuel, get your ass over here and quit horsing around." It was seriously driving me crazy, but as I made my way to the dressing room the tone changed and I noticed the woman was hurriedly walking up and down aisles. I went into the dressing room, which is run by the switchboard operator, and while looking at myself in the mirror wearing a $3.98 shirt I heard a voice over the walkie-talkie announcing that a child was missing. Immediately, more voices came over the talkie. "Negative in electronics." "Negative in toys." and then, "I have a small boy jumping on a trampoline." I listened as the first voice asked if the boy had a backpack. "No, no backpack, but he is wearing a brown shirt." Then the first voice with relief, "That's him." I looked at myself in the mirror and I was crying. Kudos to Target and its staff for their quick response.

• While standing in the checkout line at the Dollar Store I noticed that they sold pregnancy tests. Really? Would you trust those results?

• I treated myself to a Starbucks (I have loads of gift cards from the holidays) since I was so with it in getting my errands done. So not to burn my tongue I took off the lid, blew in the coffee, sipped some, closed the lid and left it to cool more while I hit the Dollar Store. I got back into the car, picked up my coffee, and took a sip. Of course, the lid was not properly back on and the coffee spilled all over my white shirt.

I think that I'm better off leaving this morning nonsense to the early birds. I don't really like worms anyhow.....

Sum of what I do

Darcy is studying a fiction book about Florida called, The Land Remembered by Patrick D. Smith. It is an interesting story about a family who moves into Florida territory in the 1800's. This book is being studied in her Language Arts class as well as in her Humanities class.

She had to do two projects and take a test on the book. She didn't do well on the test and then had to write a 5 paragraph paper on the book. As I was reading the paper and thumbing through the book, my motherly instincts kicked in and I realized my daughter had not read the book! Apparently, some of the lower reading level children were in a group with the teacher who would read and go over each chapter with these kids. Darcy just made sure to sit close to the group and listen in...

So....we spent an entire Sunday reading the book aloud. Once that was finished I made her jump into her projects.

The picture above is her extra credit project. On the back side is the family tree of the family in the book. This side is Darcy's tree with four generations. I came up with the idea of a tree with pictures. Darcy did most of the research, calling her grandparents and quizzing her parents. Once that was done we took photos and scanned them into the computer into a print shop program. We had no problem with my side of the family as I had photos for everyone. Tom's side was a tad more complicated. We had Tom and his parents, but not photos of his parents' parents. A call to the grandparents did not help. They had photos, but no scanner and they live a good 40 minutes from us. We left that side blank while we pondered what to do.

Tom's helpful suggestion was exactly what I knew he would say.

Tom: "Who cares? Take some pictures of old people off the Internet and put them on it. No one is going to know or care who those pictures are."

I picked the scariest and ugliest people I could find. It didn't phase him. Only after that did we learn that after my phone call to his mother Tom actually, without our knowing, had gone up to his parent's house to fix some computer problem. Neither he nor his mother thought about GETTING THE PHOTOS.

In the end I took old black and white photos of his parents. His father, Roger, became his own father. Roger's sister became his mother. Mary Anne became her mother and her brother became his father. Because the siblings really do resemble their parents, no kidding.

So the tree isn't truly accurate in pictures, but the rest is history.

Dabbling while impaired....

Since the whole eye thing has happened, I've spent quite a bit of time home with nothing to do but putter around the house and the computer. I've spent some time trying to master my video postings and movie making. I use Picasa because that is the program that all my camera stuff downloads into and the new version of Picasa has introduced me to movie making. I would love to have a weekly video, but that might be too enterprising.

Meanwhile, here is a previous video that I never knew how to get into my post! It is my little theater girl doing a scene from Mama Mia.

Knock on wood that this is over!

Surgery #2 - Left Eye

For some reason, this surgery was completely different from beginning to end. First, I was a nervous nellie. I'm not sure why, but I was anxious, weepy, and worried. Secondly, they took me in right away, stretched me out on the bed, and did everything at once from eye drops to blood pressure, to taping down my head to jabbing me in the hand with the drugs. It was rush, rush, rush. I felt even more anxious and then they wheeled me off to the surgery room.

I didn't have nearly as many eye drops this time, which I kept mentioning to whoever would listen. The response, "No, we don't have to do as many the second time around." Huh? What? Why not? I was sure I was going to feel this surgery as they sliced through my cornea because of the lack of numbing drops, but alas, all went well.

The surgery was a "slam, bam, thank you ma'am" quick one, and the whole process from beginning to slipping me into the car took an hour. Last time....3 hours. This eye didn't have the pain that the first one did. The big difference was that everything and everyone looked red. That disappeared this morning. The vision isn't as clear distance wise as the right eye, but I believe that they tweak the Crystallens in the other eye to help me see better up close. I'll find out more at the follow-up visit today.

Thanks to everyone who sent me emails, and cards, and to those who phoned me. I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers sent my way. Right now I'm typing this without glasses and my future looks clear!

My Little Monkey

Best & Worse at the Oscars 2009

Best Oscar Moments for me:

• Kate Winslet having her dad whistle so she could find him.
• Sean Penn's speech.
• The Japanese guy's speech "sanking" everyone and then calmly saying, "Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto."
• Anne Hathaway belting out her part in the opening musical number.
• The cast and crew of Slumdog Millionaire really enjoying themselves and showing pure joy at all their wins.
• Ben Stiller doing his Joaquin Phoenix impression.
• Tina Fey and Steve Martin as presenters.
• Will Smith as a presenter.
• Queen Latifah singing a tribute to the members of the Hollywood community who have died.
• Jerry Lewis' speech. Sweet, short and to the point.

Yucky Oscar Moments for me:

• Cutting to Angelina Jolie when Jennifer Aniston was on stage.
• Cutting to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt yet again while Jennifer Aniston was on stage.
• That video spot with the two guys from some comedy I've never seen.
• Those who pulled out paper and read off names to thank. If you are going to do that sing it or something.
• Not enough songs nominated.
• Wall-E should have won more. Best animated film I've seen in a long time. I think it was over some people's heads.

Oscar Buzz

Sunday night I watched the Oscars. I haven't really watched them in a while because A) I've usually never seen the movies that are nominated and B) the show is too long and too boring. This year I watched because I was pulling for Slumdog Millionaire, a movie I actually saw and truly loved, and I was all caught up in the Mickey Rourke hype.

I thoroughly enjoyed the show. I loved Hugh Jackman's opening number and was thrilled with Anne Hathaway's performance. I was clapping like I was there when she belted out her part. I also enjoyed seeing the five past award winners coming out on stage and paying tribute to this year's nominees. I wondered if they had written what they were saying, which would have made it more meaningful if they had, but I thought it was a nice touch for both past and present. Apparently, I am in the minority.

Everything I have read the past two days has been mostly negative regarding this year's Oscar show, and everyone hated those five alumni. I don't get it. Our television newspaper critic had an article today that gave his suggestions for fixing the show. It took up almost an entire page and really wasn't helpful, in my opinion. I've decided to respond to all this whining. The following is some of the criticisms that annoyed me.

• Winners were too predictable. Really? Rocky winning Best Picture back in 1976? Only people that saw that coming were the fans who loved the movie. I suggest you throw in some other nominees that the other shows haven't honored if you think the SAG and Golden Globes are spoiling your fun.
• Oscars lack diversity. Most of Slumdog Millionaire's winners were not even Indian. Are you kidding me? You want movies about other countries to be produced, written and acted by people in that same country? Too bad for Indian directors and producers for not finding Vikas Swarup's book and realizing the potential. Kudos to Danny Boyle for doing so and for using real Indian children (not actors) in the movie. If you want diversity try opening up more nominated movie categories such as Best Comedy Picture and Best Musical to go along with Best Animated.
• The show is too long. Okay, this one I agree with. The Oscars are always long. I suggest you give out the boring awards that viewers at home usually don't care about (sound editing, costume design, set design, etc) before the show goes on air. That would cut out an hour right there and open up time for more entertaining numbers. All the presenters, nominees, guests, etc. show up and do the red carpet, go inside and mingle with cocktails and appetizers while you give out those awards. Then an hour later start the televised show. The Kodak theater audience will be happier with liquor and food in their bellies and the viewing audience will be glad to not have to sit through endless speeches from people we've never seen.
• Hated the five past winners complimenting the nominees. You like someone reading the names of the nominees and seeing a clip of their acting in the movie? Usually the same clip we see over and over again throughout the night. Yeah, that is entertaining. How nice was it seeing Goldie Hawn and Robert De niro? How funny was Cuba Gooding Jr.'s little speech to Robert Downey Jr.? Lighten up, folks!

Hanging out with 4th graders

Me: "What is it you are trying to do?"

9-year-old boy: (struggling to get his arm into his jacket) "I'm trying to get my jacket on."

Me: "Let me help."

9-year-old boy: "The problem, see, is that I'm here without my mother. I can't do anything without my mother's help."

9-year-old girl: "What will you do when you go away to college?"

9-year-old boy: "I'm not going to college." (shrugs) I'm going to hang out on the beach, veg out, drink rum."

Me: "Rum?"

9-year-old boy: "Yeah, rum. You know, Grey Goose."

Me: "Grey Goose is vodka."

9-year-old boy: "Whatever. It's good stuff."

Steve Austin has nothing on me....

Surgery #1, Right eye
Things I worried that could go wrong and / what really transpired:

• Blindness - This was something on the paper that I had to sign saying I understood this was a possibility. / Not only am I not blind, but I can see distance without any aid. At today's follow-up, my vision was 20/10. My hot surgeon said, "Damn, I'm good."

• The juice they planned on giving me would not relax me. / It started out with the nurse having trouble finding the vein in my hand. It ended with her blowing said vein. Lucky for me (and her)I was tied down to the bed with my eyes closed. The juice might have put me to sleep, but they all kept talking to me.

• The numbing stuff wouldn't work and I would feel the slicing and dicing. / My eye was numb, but I did feel the astigmatism flattening. A tad painful, but I'm a Mason warrior.

• They would work on the wrong eye / Not happening because they put a piece of white tape over my right eye, tucked my hair up into a shower cap, doused my right eye with horrible colored dye drops and made me sit in the full waiting room with my left eye opened.

• It would take longer than the 6-7 minutes I was promised. / Haven't a clue how long it took. I was there a total of 3 hours. I was only supposed to be there for 2 hours, but a 92-year-old patient got ahead of me when his family member caused a scene in the waiting room.

• My blood pressure would be sky high and they wouldn't be able to operate / My bp was 109/78 with a 53 pulse rate. I was worried I wasn't alive.

• I would want to close my eye when I saw an instrument coming close / Again...not happening. They throw you off balance by pouring more drops into your eye and while that is happening and your eye is wide open someone else covers your upper face with a clear piece of sticky plastic. Then they cut it open right over your eye. I'm sure my bp shot up a tad at that one.

All in all, I survived. Worst thing is having to do it all over again next week on the other eye. After today's follow-up appointment I made the mistake of staying and watching a live cataract surgery being performed. You wouldn't even believe all the new worries I have now.....

Seeing things in a new light

So I have cataracts. They need to come out so that I can see again, especially in my right eye. I signed up for surgery, researched my options, decided on just cataract removal, went to my pre-op tests and discovered that I have astigmatism.

But not only do I have that, but I have weird and "unusual" astigmatisms. Apparently, I have cornea astigmatism and lenticular astigmatism, but the cornea is horizontal and the lens is vertical so for most of my life the two have canceled each other out which resulted in zero astigmatism problems and no one noticing.

Now the lens will be removed and I will have problems. Going with just the cataract removal will cause me to wear tri-focal glasses. What? Bad enough to tell people I have to have cataract surgery, now I'm going to be looking at them through trifocals?

I opted, after a discussion with my doctor, to go with option #3, the Crystalens. T

Doctor: "It's like washing your car. Are you going to put in the time of carefully washing your Ford that you'd put in with your Jaguar? The Crystalens is the Jaguar.

The "European car" of the lens. It will cost quite a penny, but when all is over I shall see without the aid of contacts or glasses. A little bit of lasik will be provided to flatten my astigmatism as well. The surgery is happening on the 17th. I'm nervous, but content with my decision. The surgeon is young and quite confident without being pompous. I'm hoping for the best. Stay tuned.

A Science Lesson

FYI...

To My Sister-in-law

Still Celebrating

Thanks to friends and family who called, texted, and emailed me their congratulations on the Steelers win! 6 wins for the Burgh!

• My niece Gabby who texted me right after the win to remind me of my promise to send her a shirt if the Steelers won!
• Kelly who called me to offer up congratulations even after sitting next to me for most of the entire game.
• Chris and daughter Gabby who called and left me a congrats message.
• My mother who came over today to offer up her congrats and to listen to me rehash the evening at my friends’ house. 
• Sharon G. who emailed me with 5 seconds on the clock. Points off for mentioning giving the Cards credit for a good challenge. Who cares! But she did congratulate the Steelers.
• My sister Sue who emailed me "Way to Go Steelers!"
• My brother (this was a shocker!) who emailed me "Congratulations! The half-time show was Awesome!!! Oh, and the game was pretty good too!"
• My neighbor, Howard, who emailed me the following: "Well, as you can imagine, I am eating crow today over giving you such a hard time about the Stinky ole Steelers. They lucked out and won the game yesterday. It was a really good game, and I could hear you cheering them all the way over here. Congratulations! And if you had taken my ten cent bet, today you would have had twenty cents to spend on something lavish. I should have been nicer. Your hard-nosed neighbor, Howard"
• My friend Kim who emailed me to tell me she rooted for the Steelers all the way.
• The kids (grades 4th - 8th) who couldn't wait to congratulate me, high-five me, and who just wanted to see my big smile.
• Coach Jared who rooted for the Cardinals, but was man enough to congratulate me after all the crap he threw my way.
• My sister-in-law Julie who called me and told me how much she enjoyed the game.

I appreciate the love everyone! It was a good season, a great Super Bowl, and I'm glad I have a few months to regroup.

The Lombardi Belongs to the Steelers Once More

Steelers 27 Arizona 23

Super Bowl Sunday

Three years ago I heard from friends and family near and far wishing me luck with my beloved Pittsburgh Steelers in the Super Bowl. This year people haven't been showing me as much love, but the game is still a few hours away so I'm hopeful. So far I've received a few well wishes:

• My friend Kelly has not only agreed to attend the Super Bowl party with me, but she wore my Polamalu jersey to work this past week on Super Bowl day AND went out and bought a Steelers shirt to wear to the party this evening.
• My sister-in-law called this morning to wish the Steelers well.
• My friend, Jyoti, offered to go with me this week to Tampa to see if we could spot a Steelers player despite the fact that football is not something she cares about.
• My friend SueG hasn't called yet, but she will call me from work later tonight to wish me well. (I know this because she did this through the playoffs)
• My neighbor Howard wished me well before adding that he was rooting for the Cardinals. He wanted to bet me a dime the birds would pull it out, but I let him know that the Steelers were bird hunting and since we had already taken care of the Ravens he might want to reconsider. By the time I was done with him he said he would pull for the Steelers.
• Another friend texted me good wishes and a "Go Steelers".
• My nephews in Chicago who said, "Go Steelers!" to the girls.

But my most favorite well wish came yesterday from my niece, Gabby. She sent me an email and after she finished saying what she wanted to say in the email she added this...... (don't tell my dad.......go Steelers!!!!!)
Gotta love that!!

GO STEELERS!