New Friends

Yesterday I met a friend I hadn't seen in a long time at McDonald's for breakfast. I got there first, and because I was starving, I ordered and took my breakfast to the sitting area at the front of the building. I sat in a booth in the middle of the room that was between two other booths. The booth in front of me was occupied by a single gentleman reading a newspaper and drinking coffee. The booth behind me was taken up with three men drinking coffee. To my right, was another table with another man drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Directly across from the booth behind me was a table with a booth seat that was turned so that the occupant was staring in my direction. Seated there was a bald man drinking a cup of coffee.

I opened up my sandwich and began gulping it down, listening to the conversation behind me. At one point the man directly behind me said something that reminded me of my father. I snickered. Then the front door opened and in walked a man carrying his own coffee cup. One of the men behind me yelled at him, "There's Bill!"

Bill ignored him, went to the counter, got his coffee cup filled, and then sat down in the booth behind me where he then hollered across to the man seated in the booth seat across from him. I looked up. The man reading the newspaper to my right in front of me winked at me and pointed to the booth of men behind me. That's when I realized that all of these men knew each other. I turned around to the booth.

Me: "Listen, could you guys hold it down a bit I'm trying to eat."
Bill: "Who said that?"
Me: "You heard me, Bill."
Man w/Bill: "We got us a live one here."

I proceeded to get the scoop. These men come into McDonald's every morning and sit around the room drinking coffee and chewing the fat. They can't all sit together because the booths are not big enough. They have assigned seats and assigned parking spots. The table I was sitting in was not assigned to anyone until the winter months when the Canadians in their group are in town. I was good.

Bill: "What did you do before?"

Me: "Before what?"

Bill: "Before when you were single. You aren't single now, are you?"

Me: "Why? Are you looking?"

Bill: "No, but he is..." (points to the man across the table from him. His name is Dennis)

Me: "Well, I'm a great catch, but I'm married."

Bill: "So what did you do before?"

Me: "I was a brain surgeon."

Bill: "Great! That's great news because Dennis there needs some help. Can you help him, Miss Brain Surgeon?"

Me: "Bill, I was a surgeon. Not a brain transplant doctor."

They loved me. I spent the next two hours off and on talking with them. My friend sat and laughed. I got to know their names. There were three Bills, a George, a John, Dennis, and Phil. Some were married. Some were looking. Apparently, Dennis had a harem at the mall. Throughout the two hours, some left and some arrived to take those empty seats. I lost track of names. Finally the last of the group got up to go.

Bill: "Tara, we're off."

George: "Tara? Tara? It's Cara, with a C."

Me: "Seriously, Bill? You just called me Tara?"

Bill: "Well, with all that gabbing you and your friend have been doing I lost my hearing."

Me: "Alright. I forgive you this time, but that's the last time."

Bill: "We don't allow just anyone in here, you know. We'll see you tomorrow."

I won't be there tomorrow, but I'm thinking this might be my new Friday routine.