Happy Mother's Day

Real Mothers:

• Real mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens, and happy kids.
• Real mothers know that dried play dough doesn't come out of carpets.
• Real mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
• Real mothers don't eat quiche because they don't have time to make it.
• Real mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox
• Real mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height, years or grade, but that it is marked by the progression of "Mommy" to "Mom" to "Mother".

Images of Mothers:

• 4 years of age - My Mommy can do anything!
• 8 years of age - My Mom knows everything!
• 12 years of age - My Mom doesn't quite know everything.
• 14 years of age - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that either.
• 16 years of age - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
• 18 years of age - That old woman? She's way out of date!
• 30 years of age - Mother might know a little bit about that...
• 40 years of age - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
• 50 years of age - Wonder what Mom would have thought?
• 60 years of age - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

Why God Made Moms as answered by 2nd-grade children:

Q: Why did God make mothers?

• She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
• Mostly to clean the house
• To help us out of there when we're getting born.

Q: How did God make mothers?

• He used dirt just like for the rest of us.
• Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
• Just the same way he made me only he used bigger parts.

Q: What ingredients are mothers made of?

• Clouds, angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

Q: Why did God give you to your mother and not to some other mother?

• We're related.
• Because he knew she likes me a lot more than other people's Moms.

Q: What kind of a little girl was your mom?

• My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
• I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
• They say she used to be nice.

Q: Why did your Mom marry your Dad?

• Because he makes the best spaghetti in the world and my Mom eats a lot.
• She got too old to do anything else.
• My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Q: Who's the boss at your house?

• Mom because Dad is such a goof ball.
• Mom. You can tell by room inspections. She sees the stuff under the bed.
• I guess my Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

Q: What's the difference between Moms and Dads?

• Moms work at work and at home and Dads just go to work at work.
• Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
• Dads are taller and stronger, but Mom have all the real power because that's who you to to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's house.
• Moms have magic. They make you feel better without medicine.

Q: If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?

• She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
• I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
• I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head!

Happy Mother's Day to Connie and all of the other Mothers out there!